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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or was I....To let DD go to school herself?

38 replies

Aimsmum · 12/05/2009 18:01

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
laweaselmys · 12/05/2009 18:02

No, I think it's perfectly fine. Maybe she could do it on her own from now on!

flamingobingo · 12/05/2009 18:04

Sounds like a fairly well calculated 'risk', as it were. I think I'd have done it...maybe would have rung the school to check she got there ok at the time you would have expected her to have arrived.

pooka · 12/05/2009 18:04

Sounds fine to me. Wish I lived so close to dd's school, and that she could walk on her own when she gets to that age.

Can't see it happening for ages though myself. Is about a mile, and involves 2 busy roads (1 with lollipop lady).Added to which, noone else seems to walk, so there isn't the strength in numbers of yesteryear.

KingCanuteIAm · 12/05/2009 18:05

I am afraid I am firmly on the fence here, my child advocate side says it sounds like a great situation to allow her some freedom and you know your dd well enough to know if she is sensible etc.

However, my paronoid, aliens may come from the sky, side screams that is it a terrible risk.

TBH, I think I would come down on your side overall, however I can see why ex and dm reacted the way they did IYSWIM.

BitOfFun · 12/05/2009 18:07

Sounds fine to me- I used to let dd1 go herself at that age, even though ex wasn't happy. He never took her though. Anyway- it's fine IMO.

MmeLindt · 12/05/2009 18:09

Absolutely fine, IMO.

But then, we lived in Germany where it is normal for the DC to walk (or even take the bus/tram) to school from age 6 or 7.

I know that the opinion in UK is likely to be different.

consorttovix · 12/05/2009 18:09

Yanbu. My dd walks alone quite often. She was 10 when this started and has to cross two busy roads and three minor ones. It is a total walk of about 20 minutes involving 1 zebra crossing and 1 crossing at the green man. I always check she has arrived safely and otherwise let her get on with it. She loves it. that being so I think 8.5 for a shorter safer trip is more than ok. My mum was dismayed too though so don't fret over that!

bigTillyMint · 12/05/2009 18:09

Lots of children walk to school on their own at 8. I bet she enjoyed it!

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 12/05/2009 18:09

Sounds absolutely fine to me. I used to live in a house with a driveway of 0.2 of a mile, it's no distance at all.

CarGirl · 12/05/2009 18:10

Absolutely fine and a great way for her to grow in confidence and learn the beginners of being street wise.

MABS · 12/05/2009 18:10

would never let ds do this ,aged nearly 9,but loads of my friend do so think you have to go with yr gut instinct.

Reallytired · 12/05/2009 18:10

It sound fine to me. I think children benefit from a bit of independence. If I was you I would let her do it everyday.

Original poster
Aimsmum · 12/05/2009 18:11

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Original poster
Aimsmum · 12/05/2009 18:13

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Tamarto · 12/05/2009 18:13

Would they rather you did it until she was 21?

IMO going to school is a better time to let them walk alone as the school will phone if they don't get there whereas the tend to dawdle on the way home and it's hard to judge when they should be back.

No idea what that has to do with anything, but there you go YANBU

ChasingSquirrels · 12/05/2009 18:17

YANBU.
Had a chuckle at aliens from the sky

Original poster
Aimsmum · 12/05/2009 18:18

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junglist1 · 12/05/2009 18:21

My DS1 was going to the shop himself aged 7. The dad nearly had a coronary. It's all about instinct and the child. I don't think i'd let DS2 go at 7 though. It's absolutely fine, and healthy IMO.

YorkshireRose · 12/05/2009 18:26

YANBU - its a short walk, only one road to cross with lollipop man. No problem for a sensible 8yo.

I would think about letting her do it every day just to let her feel more responsible and that you trust her even if you can drop her. Would be good for her confidence.

And i bet my DH would be horrified, but he thinks I should be picking my DD up from school bus stop until she is 18! (twit!)

screamingabdab · 12/05/2009 18:29

YANBU. I bet your DD loved it!

My 8.5 year old DS went to the corner shop yesterday to buy bread and milk, crossing 2 roads on the way. He was grinning from ear to ear when he got back.

KingCanuteIAm · 12/05/2009 18:42

I am glad others are more firmly of your opinion, I thought you were probably right but I have some difficulty balancing dangers on these particular things, although I am actually more permissive than some parents in other areas IYSWIM!

Original poster
Aimsmum · 12/05/2009 18:46

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123andaway · 12/05/2009 18:51

DS2 is 8.5 and walks home from school alone once a week after a club. Its a 10 minute walk with only minor roads. If it wasn't for walking DD to school I would allow him to walk to school alone if he wanted to. Several of the other children in his class do. Some children of 8.5 would not be ready, but some are. I think you instinctively know.

YANBU

Ivykaty44 · 12/05/2009 18:55

My dd has been going to school by herself since she was 8 years old and it is a little further than your dd has to travel.

My dd also plays out round the corner with her friends, she takes my mobile phone or her own and sets the alarm to know when to come homw - I can aslo call her to come home aswell.

My dd is now 10 and often pops to tesco for me for things that we need.

Let her go

stitchtime · 12/05/2009 19:00

i think thats fine.
ds1 aged 12 ended up walking 7 and 6 year old dc to school back in february. back in the snow. not something i would normally ever let happen, but the circumstances were such that if he didnt, they wouldnt have ended up there at all. and that was over a mile away.

i think circumstances dependant etc. and the school walk is generally ok as lots of people walking there at the same time

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