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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask dh to get up early to deal with huge loofah in ds's room this morning?

30 replies

JaceyBee · 12/05/2009 12:37

Suppose technically this should read 'was I being unreasonable?'. Ok so at 6.30 this morning ds(4) comes into our room, 'Mummy there's a loofah on the wall above my bed'. (For those who don't know what loofah means I understand it's an mn term for those 8 legged spawns of the devil).

Now I really do hate these little fuckers, I am a terrible arachophobe but I went in to have a look coz sometimes he's just talking about one of those spindly ones that hang around in the corners and never move which I don't really have a problem with but no, it's a great black hairy monster, sat on the wall above his bed.

I go back in to my room and try to wake dh but he is having none of it so I wait, quivering, for his alarm to go off in 20 mins time. When he woke up he was still refusing to sort it out, I had to plead in a very undignified manner but eventually he went in there and dealt with it using the old glass/card method. I am obviously now very grateful but I think he thinks it's a bit pathetic of me to run to him to sort it out and not deal with them myself.

My question for other arachnophobes, do your dh/dps accept responsibilty for loofah disposal without argument? AIBU to expect mine to do this? Or do I need to try and 'get a grip'?

OP posts:
Divineintervention · 12/05/2009 12:40

No, your DH sounds like a wanker. My DH, even mid row, would deal with a spider.

Divineintervention · 12/05/2009 12:40

Bit harsh???

tots2ten · 12/05/2009 12:41

yanbu, I have been known to wait outside for dh to come home from work

I phoned him a few weeks ago when he was at his parents (only a 15 min away by car) because there was a HUGE loofah on the wall going up the stairs, so i refused to take ds2 (11.5mths) to bed, and he came home & removed the offended loofah

idranktheteaatwork · 12/05/2009 12:43

YABU. I deal with all spider related incidents in our house, including one famous incident last summer when an escaped family pet decided to take up temporary lodging in our kitchen.
At 6.30 am i would not get up unless it was actively sitting on someones head dripping venom.
You could have taken son downstairs until your husband got up.

FlyMeToDunoon · 12/05/2009 12:43

DP is proud of his loofah handling abilities although since he is keen to show his prowess he likes to pick them up with his bare hands which often results in an escape and consequent hysteria and paranoia from me and the DDs since you never know where escaped loofahs go!

NatalieJane · 12/05/2009 12:46

Nope DH deals with them. Have even gone running out side to him in my jamma's, before he drives off the drive to come and save me from the bloody things.

Worst one I can remember was when I was about 16 months(!!) pregnant with DS1, the fat fucker crawled in behind the telly, at 10am, I didn't move all day, even for a wee (which is hard at 40+ weeks pregnant!) until DH came and saved me when he finished work. Even DH admitted it was enormous though. Strangly, we moved house not long after, nothing like running out of room for a loofah new baby to make me pack up and go!

SarahL2 · 12/05/2009 12:46

My DH is no help cause he is also afraid of them - even more so than me sometimes.

We are trying really hard to hide our fear from DS so hopefully, he won't become phobic too and then we can get him to deal with them..

He's 2 and seems to think they are fascinating and I've already had him carry a small one outside for me

madwomanintheattic · 12/05/2009 12:48

dh does the deed without question.

he has No Choice.

SoupDragon · 12/05/2009 12:52

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JaceyBee · 12/05/2009 12:53

I know FlyMe, that's exactly it. If it had been left I would now probably not be able to go in his room at all

tots2ten I wish I could do that, although there was a similar incident a couple of years ago when me and the kids ended up shut in the bathroom until he got home from work

I remember reading something about a woman who called 999 to come and get a loofah, crazy and dangerous I know but I totally get it!

OP posts:
JaceyBee · 12/05/2009 12:54

Lol SoupDragon!

OP posts:
ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 12/05/2009 12:58

YANBU
those of the family who are not scared of the beasties should deal with them with no teasing or grumbling. My younger brother learnt this to his cost when he approached me with one in his hand and I kicked him across the room. (he was 8, I was 18)
My DH doesn't love them (he's from a country where they have poisonous ones and doesn't quite believe that they won't bite him) but he deals with them. Removing if possible, but squashing if they are too big and scary for him to remove.

BexieID · 12/05/2009 12:58

I love them, lol. I would be picking it up and giving it a name . My brother hates them. DP doesn't mind them either.

beetlemum · 12/05/2009 13:06

why call spiders a loofah. you lot are quite mad indeed

2rebecca · 12/05/2009 13:08

Agree, I was wondering about the strange loofah phobia of the poster. Spiders are nothing like loofahs, is this a local nickname for local people?

TrinityIsLovingHerLittleRhino · 12/05/2009 13:14

franny asked it to be written in thread titles as she doesn;t like seeing the word

my dh deals with all spiders without question

SarahL2 · 12/05/2009 13:23

Even being scared of the word!!! Now that's a phobia!!

EyeballsisonaDietAgain · 12/05/2009 13:26

DH is fab. He doesn't even use a glass, he just picks them up in his hands and carries them to the front door. He doesn't even roll his eyes at me, not even on the morning he came downstairs first thing, into the kitchen to find an upturned glass on the work surface and a note from me saying 'spider in residence, please evict asap'!

TrinityIsLovingHerLittleRhino · 12/05/2009 14:01

dh just sqishes them in hs fingers

ugh
huge great big hairy things

he looks his most brave and sexy to me when he does that

SoupDragon · 12/05/2009 14:03

I think this whole loofah business is ridiculous.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 12/05/2009 14:05

Ew doesn't he get spider goo on his fingers Gross. Not sexy at all

Morloth · 12/05/2009 14:20

I quite like spiders, they eat other bugs and thus we have a working relationship.

DH is cultivating some excellent Halloween spiderwebs in the corners, and he is adamant that I shouldn't vacuum them.

In Oz we have great big lovely Hunstmen spiders in our house. All spiders have learned to stay above the cat's jumping level though. She thinks they are a tasty snack.

Do you know, it wouldn't occur to me to remove a spider from the house, nor to DS to be scared of them. Come to think of it, this is quite odd.

Wedgie · 12/05/2009 14:22

I once had to get DH's mum to go the pub opposite her house to get him to come home and deal with a HUGE spider (it kept going up and down the stairs - before the days of mobile phones). I looked a right state as I had a nightshirt on and a pair of German army boots (my grebo stage, not fetish honest)in case it came too near my feet.

DH will squash them as I am scared stiff of them. He also has to catch frogs in the garden and take them to a stream as I have a terrible phobia with them.. I would be v angry if my hub refused to wake up to deal with a loofah! Hoping 20 month old doesn't start bringing them, and random amphibians, into the house when he's a bit older....

WHen I was pg there was a huge on on my pillow, I was about 8 1/2 months at the time.

TrinityIsLovingHerLittleRhino · 12/05/2009 14:24

no more odd than being afriad of birds, moths, heights morloth

tis a phobia

LaundryFairy · 12/05/2009 14:32

YANBU - this is seriously scary stuff! I have a special scream reserved for when I find a spider.

But...when I found a big black hairy one crawling across DS' shoulder a couple of weeks ago while DH was at work, I managed to steel myself and brush it off him with my bare hands! Just goes to show how strong the maternal instinct to protect really is!

(I did squeel like a three year old though )