To want to put a notice on my gate saying 'no religious callers please'?

[chegirl]

I have hesitated posting this thread. I am very torn but its an issue that has become quite upsetting.

Some background may help.

My DD died 3 years ago. She had luekemia for almost two years. She was the light of my life and I miss her more than I could ever explain. She was beautiful and brave and clever and thoughtful and just about the most extraordinary human being I have ever had the honour of knowing.

Because of her illness she had many, many, many blood transfusions. It was the first treatment she had and they kept her alive and ultimately allowed her to be at home when she died.

I am a blood donor and so very greatful to every single person who gives blood and platlets.

I am also a person who believes in tolerance, religious freedom, freedom of speech. I am fervently anti racist, anti anything that is bigoted or predjudice. I have bought my children up in this way and am proud of this. It is at the core of my beliefs.

BUT

We have a LOT of Jehovahs Witnesses in this area. They come round very regularly. They knock on my door and want to talk to me and my husband. I respect strong faiths and the way they put up with abuse etc but I find their views on blood transfusions deeply offensive and difficult. It genuinely upsets me a great deal to even think much about them. It has got worse the more I have spoken to a few JWs about it. I thought that if I understood more and did not rely on rumor and misunderstandings I may find it easier. I have had several discussions online and I am afraid it has made things worse. I have been told that I was wrong to allow my daughter to have BTs and pretty much a terrible mother. There was no argument - I should not have done what I did. She should not have done what she did etc.

If I did not have to face people with these views it would not be so much of an issue. But they come to the house at least once a week and I do NOT want to be rude or get upset. I do NOT want to have explain why I dont want to listen or talk to them. TBH, and I know this is wrong, I dont want to have to face them. There was also a pretty awful issue with SIL and niece but I dont want this to look like a attack on JWs. Its relevant in that OH has those feelings to deal with too.

It is pretty much against everything I believe to put something on my door that appears to be so predjudiced but I am seriously contemplating it. What do you think?

I'm so sorry for your loss. .

I think someone else has mentioned that once a week is harassment, surely? Presumably it's the same church sending people round. And sitting on your wall waiting for you to get home? I am and I would be inclined to call the police and report them for trepass. The audacity of it - IMO they sound like they are trying to exploit how upset and vulnerable you feel and that is truly disgusting.

I find telling them I'm catholic works a treat. I actually am and discovered that quite by accident.

but unless she has asked them to leave and not return, how would they know? they properly think she's an intrested person. I also dont think they could have known about her dd that day they were sitting in the wall.

Hi che

I agree wholeheartedly with procrastinatingparent You are SO not intolerant - you have engaged with them in the past to try and understand, which is a darn sight more than many would do in the circumstances.

Just to say, I had a blood transfusion after DS2 s birth, and I am only sorry now that as a result I can't give blood myself, so good on you for raising this issue.

I'm so sorry for your loss, and the heartbreak you must have gone through.

I'm a JW too - and can only second what Lisa has said - please contact the Kingdom Hall and ask to be marked down as a 'Do Not Call'. You don't need to give any reasons. They'll take a note of your address (not your name, or any personal details) and the next time the Witnesses are calling on your street, they should miss your door out. You're perfectly entitled to do this - that's why we have this system.

I'm so sorry you've had hurtful comments in the past - you're certainly not a terrible mother. I can only apologise for the insensitive behaviour of the JWs calling on you, and hope you find a resolution to this situation soon.

So sorry for your loss and that you are finding these calls upsetting.
I do not think anyone who does what is best for their child could ever be a bad mother and I am so sorry you have been made to feel you did something wrong when you did not.

My PERSONAL feeling is it is verging on evil to watch someone die when something as simple as blood transfusions could save them.

I give blood, I am on the bone marrow register and when I did they can take what they need.

I am a Christian, and the God I turn to would not want a child (or anyone ) to die for the sake of a pint of blood.

I do not think it would be a bad thing or a prejudiced thing to do to say no religious callers. Yes they have to right to "spread the word" but you have a right NOT to have it rammed at you in your own home.

I have not been offended by any posts from you Lisa far from it. I am grateful that you have taken the time to post on a thread that is particularly sensitive for you. You dont need to apologise on behalf of all JWs Lollipop I dont feel the need to apologise for everything George Dubya did, I belive he is a Christian isnt he

I think the best course is to contact Kingdom Hall.

I know my remark about the youngsters waiting on my wall probably sounded paranoid . It was just after Billie died so my head was all over the place but it did seem odd at the time.

To clarify, no JW has been deliberatly rude to me at my door. I HAVE had JWs be highly offensive to me on-line. They did not (I believe) think they were being offensive but wanted me to agree with them and pushed to the point of near hysteria (on both sides I have to say). We know that the internet can bring out the worst in people and some will take advantage of the anonimity (sp).I cant repeat the things they said but they were like a punch in the stomach.

Its more that now I am aware of the laws and beliefs of JWs re blood, their presence at my door triggers very difficult feelings. I also feel awkward and anxious.

I am glad that I have been able to discuss this on MNs. It has helped and I am glad that it has remained civil and intelligent.

Thanks all.

blood issues are very emotive and hard to explain, but i dont think this thread is the place to discuss it. I think calling peoples choice on how to treat their children evil, is very unkind. And in all honesty this wouldnt happen now as doctors call court and make an order to force children to have blood if parents dont agree.

I do think you have been nicer than most chegirl, just call the hall.

Chegirl, I have just looked at the pic of your beautiful Billie and am near to tears. There's nothing I can say but I'm so sorry for your loss, and for the loss of the life she should have had.

But you have also reminded me that I haven't given blood since DS's birth, and it is high time that I did. So, inspired by you and your DD, am off to re-register.

x

frazzled that is the BEST thing I have heard all week. It means more than you could ever imagine. Thank you.

Now I'm really welling up!

First appointment I could get was June 7, but I'm going to be there. Thank you for giving me the impetus to actually go and do it instead of just meaning to get round to it.

Oh Frazzled

I always cry when I am giving blood. They are used to me now. I find it so emotional. I want to run around hugging all the donors there and telling them what they are really doing, what it really means.

Enough now. If you dehydrate (with all the sobbing) it will be hard for them to find a vein

YANBU in the slightest. My DH is a haemophiliac so has had one or two blood transfusions in his life. His GPs are JWs. Although they would love to see DD, we just can't cope with seeing them anymore as they spend the whole time criticising him for wanting to still be alive in his 30s. They are the maternal GPs too so it has descended from their side of the family which kind of makes it worse.

I agree with the suggestion that you should contact the kingdom hall.

Thats a bit mind blowing betterthan. I honestly cannot get my head round that at all.

I have wondered about people with Sickle Cell and thallasemia. JWs seem to have a high proportion of black members and Sickle Cell almost exclusively affects black people. Does that mean someone with SC cannot be a JW? Because if they were they would die wouldnt they?

I did ask the JW who was being offensive to me but she wouldnt answer.

I've given blood too in the past but unfortunately I can't give blood now as Ive had a blood tranfusion 2 years ago 1 week after dd2 was born- I feel frustrated that I can't because they are crying out for o rhesus neg blood at mo which is my blood group.

Anyway I hope the probs with the JW's get resolved soon and YANBU at all