Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to go away for a weekend without baby when he is 10 months old?

36 replies

merr · 09/05/2009 14:59

i won a weekend away in dublin, my partner and i could really do with some us time after our first baby and all its ups and downs.
my mum and dad have offered to look after bab
and he knows them really well as he spends 1 day or more a week with them anyway.
MIL thinks bab is too young to be without his mum and dad for 2 days and that we should stop being selfish and not go.
part of me really doesn't want to go and leave him cause i will miss him loads, but i would love to be able to have some grown-up 'couple' time!
what would you do?

OP posts:
brettgirl2 · 09/05/2009 15:02

If you want to go then go.

If he spends time with them anyway he'll be fine. I don't buy all of this guilt stuff about never being able to leave a baby to be well cared for by someone else.

I think your MIL is just jealous that you didn't ask her.

coppertop · 09/05/2009 15:06

Go to Dublin and don't let your MIL put you off.

Wordsmith · 09/05/2009 15:09

Ooh, lucky you - go and have fun! Of course you'll miss him but just think how great it will be to see him when you get back! It's only a weekend. He'll have a great time with granny and grandpa and more to the point you will feel completely revitalised.
Your MIL sounds like one of those people who thinks all mothers should be chained to the home and hearth 24/7.

Blondeshavemorefun · 09/05/2009 15:10

go

I do lots of PP for famillies who need to work/have time away and dont have family to help

you will miss him more then he will miss you and dp - as long as your ds is fed,watered, played and loved with he will be fine - will prob love being spolit by gp's

sounds to me mil is that you asked your M&D and not her

Have a lovely time and sure others on here will say

omg, how can you leave your child/i could never do it etc - ignore them

LaDiDaDi · 09/05/2009 15:12

I would go.

You will have a nice time as a couple, your parents will enjoy looking after your ds and he will be happy to see you when you get back. Win, win, win .

piscesmoon · 09/05/2009 15:23

I would go, I think perhaps your MIL is a bit jealous that she isn't the one to get your DS.
I think it does everyone good to have a break and your DS can really get to know his grandparents-if he is already used to them it won't feel strange.

mrsboogie · 09/05/2009 15:23

If he is familiar with your parents and happy in their care then he will be perfectly fine for a couple of nights. He won't miss you half as much as you will miss him!

TheMysticMasseuse · 09/05/2009 15:24

you're going to get lots of people telling you not to do it. do it anyway, and enjoy it!

Original poster
merr · 09/05/2009 15:33

thanks everyone, i feel a bit better about it now!
must stop feeling guilty about wanting to have some time to myself again!
think you are all right about MIL, but she lives further away and ds is just not comfortable enough with her yet.

OP posts:
sayithowitis · 09/05/2009 17:14

Do it!

We had a similar situation when DS1 was three months old. It was something that could not have been postponed and even if I hadn't have gone, DH would have gone on his own. I wanted to go, we were confident that my parents would cope with DS1, like your parents, they had spent loads of time with him and he was happy with them. We went. It was great. It was the last time we went away on our own, as a couple, for 20 years! It reminded us that we were a couple.

Go. Enjoy it. Enjoy each other. Have fun!

Thunderduck · 09/05/2009 17:19

Go, and have a great time. He'll be fine and you'll both be happier and more relaxed which also benefits your ds.

bubblagirl · 09/05/2009 17:34

we went away for 4 days when ds was that age it was so much easier than if we tried to leave him as he got older when separation anxiety kicked in etc

go and have a good time it was best thing we did

Kitsilano · 09/05/2009 17:50

Go! And enjoy.

susiey · 09/05/2009 18:20

definitley go he'll be fine

we left my dd at 4 months she had a great time and we slept and had some good couple time .We left her with good friends.

we absolutely loved seeing her when we got back and she hadn't noticed we'd gone.
ignore the mil she'll get over it

junglist1 · 09/05/2009 18:33

Go and enjoy! Don't worry about MIL

spicemonster · 09/05/2009 18:37

If your baby knows and likes your mum and dad then go. I sometimes think my DS would rather be with mine that with me and he's only 2!

I'm a big believer in having time apart from your children if you want to. There is nothing whatsoever wrong with it.

goodnightmoon · 09/05/2009 18:39

YANBU. can't wait to leave mine! (9 months)

catwalker · 09/05/2009 18:59

Absolutely NOT unreasonable. Two days for goodness sake? Of course you should go - especially when you can leave your child with your mum and dad who knows them very well. Not as if you're leaving for a week or two. Your child deserves two parents with a strong relationship and if this will help you both have some time out together then you should go for it. MIL should not have expressed any opinion - it's absolutely your decision and absolutely none of her business. But then MILs are like that!

FfreckleFface · 09/05/2009 18:59

Absolutely NBU!

We left the baby for the weekend when she was 10 months, and I was a bit nervous because she had a cold, and it would be her first time being left for two days with EBM.

But, we had a great time, and according to the MIL she was her usual happy self, and ate and slept as well as she always does.

And the big smile I got from her when we came home made it all the better.

Have a great time.

whodathoughtit · 09/05/2009 19:01

Go.

We are leaving ours in a few weeks for our wedding anniversary. She'll be 9 months old. Can't wait!

screamingabdab · 09/05/2009 20:52

Another one saying Go!!!

We left our first DS with my parents for a weekend in Cornwall at this age. It was one of the most romantic times we have had. And it's lovely to come back too.

Couple time (and sex ) is really important.

We left DS overnight for the first time at about 2 months old - stayed in a hotel about a mile away! When we got back, my dad had video'd virtually the whole thing - and I was so touched to see my mum singing my DS the same songs I do. I count myself really lucky to have parents who are able and willing to help out like this.

piscesmoon · 09/05/2009 21:23

I think it does you all good. I always feel a much better mother if I get a break-you recharge your batteries!!.

moaningminnie2020 · 09/05/2009 21:47

We went away for 1 night as DD was turning 12 months, just before I went back to work from Maternity leave.

It was fab but very odd not to hear her breathing when I was in bed!

Oh yes and I got pregnant with DS...

bentneckwine1 · 10/05/2009 01:02

Sometimes Love Needs a Holiday

I think you should go...happy parents means a happy baby. Watch the music video in the link - I have copied you the lyrics.

Enjoy your weekend.

She was circling the Holiday Inn
Just about to go 'round again
When her cell phone rang and it was him sayin', "Room 183"
They've never done this before, but when he met her at the door
They broke out smiling 'cause they were sure that this is what they need
She said, "Mama's got the kids"
And he said, "We got the room for the weekend"

Chorus:

They love their kids and their house and that dog in the yard
Oh and their neighbors for the most part
They love eachother, but it's hard to be lover's
When life gets in the way
Sometimes love needs a holiday

He hung up the DO NOT DISTURB
To shut out the rest of the world
48 hours of just him and her
You can't get this at home

She pulled the covers back and
He said, "Yeah I'm in to that"
They flopped down together and took a nap
No you can't get this at home
They woke up in eachother's arms
And that's where they spent the rest of the weekend

Chorus

Room service dinner with candles and wine
A night with no homework and no baby crying
They hold eachother like they used to do
He whispers, "Girl, I've missed you"

Chorus

Needs a holiday
He hung up the DO NOT DISTURB
Love needs a holiday
(Love needs a holiday)
Just shut out the rest of the world
Love needs a holiday
(Love needs a holiday)

SouthernLights · 10/05/2009 01:20

My DD is going to my parents for a whole fortnight tomorrow (she's 8 months old) for work-related reasons. They are REALLY looking forward to having her and plan to take her swimming, out for walks, to visit her great grandparents etc.

I think whoever said your MIL was probably envious may have a point, especially if she doesn't spend much time with the baby. Alone time is pretty crucial, especially for first time parents, I'd say...

Swipe left for the next trending thread