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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be so furious with my bestfriend and her mother

43 replies

MmeJaffaB · 06/05/2009 16:24

Two days ago my dd (3) broke bf ds's (5) silver chain and lost the E letter off it into the grass. We found the chain but not the E. We apologised obviously, dd was scalded etc.. and I said that I would replace it for him asap.
We met with them today and her ds proudly showed me a new chain and E that bf's mother had rushed out to buy him after he told Nanny about dd breaking it. I was cross and told bf this, said that I felt it was not Grandmothers place to replace something that I had already said I would, bf says she told her Mother that I was going to buy him a new one. I am upset that bf couldn't stand her ground with her Mother! Mother knows me well too so it's not like she doesn't know I am true to my word.

AIBU to be pissed with them? My replacement obviously would not have been good/instant enough!

OP posts:
laweaselmys · 06/05/2009 16:27

Unless you have been presented with a bill for the E that is more than it originally cost, then yes I think YABU and over sensitive.

She did a nice thing, and saved you a trip. I'm not sure what there is to moan about.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 06/05/2009 16:27

I trust you mean your dd was scolded, rather than scalded. I think being "furious" is a bit of an over-reaction, the child's granny (knowing you have lo and that getting out and about for something like this might be a bit of a hassle for you) has just saved you the bother.

TheArmadillo · 06/05/2009 16:28

YABU
Does it really matter who bought the replacement?

pinkstarfish · 06/05/2009 16:29

Sorry but you ABU, you kindly offered but it was replaced before you got the chance. It saves you buying a replacement, what's the problem?

Greensneeze · 06/05/2009 16:30

I can sort of see why you don't like this - but I doubt there is any malicious intent!

Buy the little boy something else if it makes you feel better.

And BREATHE! You sound stressed out!

Fimbo · 06/05/2009 16:30

YABU. The grandmother has saved you having to buy another and tbh my mother would probably have done the same.

Lizzylou · 06/05/2009 16:31

I'd just be grateful that he'd got a replacement, they hardly did it to spite you. They're not holding a grudge that the E letter was lost, why be "furious" that they replaced it?
YABU

Have to wonder why a 5 yr old boy was wearing a chain with "dangly bits" anyway, if my 5 yr old had one he'd have garotted himself withi 10 minutes.

muddleduck · 06/05/2009 16:31

YABU.
Sounds like you were pissed off about something else before this..

Notalone · 06/05/2009 16:32

Sorry but you are being very oversensitive and a bit silly really. I don't understand what the big deal is at all. In fact if I was your BF I would now be annoyed with you.

Greensneeze · 06/05/2009 16:33

No need to flame the poor woman.

geordieminx · 06/05/2009 16:33

"furious"???? Way way over the top to me.

Firsty IMO a 5 year old boy should not be wearing a chain, apart from it being tacky and inappropriate, it is dangerous, and is bound to be damaged/broken/lost frequently.

Secondly, at 3 I dont think your dd is responsible - Did she do it on purpose?

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 06/05/2009 16:34

I don't think she's being flamed, Greensneeze, just told that she is BU.

PinkTulips · 06/05/2009 16:36

furious?

really? furious?

you need to read the papers more and maybe you'd realise there are alot of things in this world to be furious about, somebody saving you the bother of replacing a cheap bit of jewelery is not one of them.

MadameCastafiore · 06/05/2009 16:38

Get a grip - I would tell BF that she shouldn't let a small child wear a necklace out playing in the first place so what did she expect when it was broken.

And I'd be happy that I wouldn't have to pay for another one!

PinkTulips · 06/05/2009 16:38

furious?

really? furious?

you need to read the papers more and maybe you'd realise there are alot of things in this world to be furious about, somebody saving you the bother of replacing a cheap bit of jewelery is not one of them.

mayorquimby · 06/05/2009 16:39

jesus, some people will really look for a reason to be upset or pissed off about anything.
yabu

Joolyjoolyjoo · 06/05/2009 16:40

tbh, I would be grateful, rather than furious. Is there more to the story to explain why this has upset you so much?

slightlycrumpled · 06/05/2009 16:41

You are probably being a little over sensitive although who knows myabe I would also feel a little put out.

The grandmother has saved you a trip and it was probably done with good intentions, particularly if she knows you as well.

Try not to read too much into it. Buy the child something small instead.

Original poster
MmeJaffaB · 06/05/2009 16:43

I don't have a problem with being told I am BU after all thats why I posted the question. Flaming is harsh here though, I'm not sure I'll ask again.

I wouldn't allow my mother to interfere thats all. I feel that I should have been able to do what I said I would do.

Greensneeze nice idea, I may get him something else from dd. She says she did do it on purpose as E was annoying her?

Expect I've splet something wrong again!

I shall forget it then.

OP posts:
Mumcentreplus · 06/05/2009 16:43

U are being a bit ott... and it's not about what the child was wearing...before the flamin begins

LynetteScavo · 06/05/2009 16:43

YABU - you should be gratefull to BF's mother, and thank her for doing you a favour.

unavailable · 06/05/2009 16:43

They clearly did it to spite you.

I'd buy a new chain for him - 5 year old boys cant ever have enough neck chains with dangly bits in my opinion

Lizzylou · 06/05/2009 16:48

I can see that you feel bad, but your BF obviously doesn't hold you/your DD responsible.
Get a book/small toy instead?
Really not worth getting upset over

Original poster
MmeJaffaB · 06/05/2009 16:49

Actually lynette I'm coming round to that idea, I may just ring her and thank her!

I think it was just that I'd said I would do it. I will get him something else.

OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 06/05/2009 16:52

That's a really nice idea to get him something else.