to be so furious with my bestfriend and her mother

[MmeJaffaB]

Two days ago my dd (3) broke bf ds's (5) silver chain and lost the E letter off it into the grass. We found the chain but not the E. We apologised obviously, dd was scalded etc.. and I said that I would replace it for him asap.
We met with them today and her ds proudly showed me a new chain and E that bf's mother had rushed out to buy him after he told Nanny about dd breaking it. I was cross and told bf this, said that I felt it was not Grandmothers place to replace something that I had already said I would, bf says she told her Mother that I was going to buy him a new one. I am upset that bf couldn't stand her ground with her Mother! Mother knows me well too so it's not like she doesn't know I am true to my word.

AIBU to be pissed with them? My replacement obviously would not have been good/instant enough!

For goodness sake, of course YABU.

Her mother wasn't interfering, she just wanted to buy a replacement. She was free to do so. I doubt for one minute that they hold you reaponsible or thought you wouldn't get a replacement soon enough. Just be thankful you are now spared form going out and buying tacky jewelery for 5 yr olds.

Do you hve an issue that there are people (your BF/her mother/your mother) who for some reason have in the past suggestd that you don't carry through or live up to your word.

Because, as you now know YABU, but such a strong reaction suggests to me that this is an issue for you generally?

Is it possible the OP's first language isn't English, and therefore her phraseology is a bit off-beam?

I can see why she might be a bit embarrassed and not very chuffed that the granny stopped her "doing the right thing"

but I think she should chill, and buy the boy another little pressie if it makes her feel better

Yes, get something else, lovely idea!

My mum and MIL would have done the same, they love having an excuse to buy my kids things, especially things they are really excited about. In a way it's nice that you felt strongly about it, you really care about his feelings, they probably hadn't thought how much it meant to you.

No my first language is English. I'm obviously just not clever enough to post here.

Corriefan that's it eaxactly tbh.

I suspect you were annoyed at the implication that you would not be true to your word - you were denied the opportunity to put a wrong right.

I'd have been a bit upset about that but not actually cross about it.

Agree with greensneeze. I think getting another small gift for the wee boy is a great idea.

I was absolutely not not not implying that you were thick, there is NOTHING inarticulate about your posts

It's just that your emotional reaction is quite strong - that's why peple are being harsh - and sometimes that can be because someone is using stronger words than they mean

I am very sorry I offended you I was trying to support you

[chews own foot off with embarrassment and remorse]

I can see why you might be a bit put out that someone jumped in and fixed it before you had a chance - maybe you felt they thought your were unwilling/incapable of fixing the situation and they had to do it for you. but you can easily let them know that you fully intended to replace it, etc. Perhaps thank the grandma and offer to pay for it, so you feel better? but ultimately, when a 3 and 5 year old play together, something will likely always get broken and no-one should blame the kids unless it was intentional.

i mull things like this over all the time, and in your own head, it becomes HUGE! good idea to get some perspective on here, even if some of it is a little harsh at times.

why do you ask if you are being unreasonable and then get offended if people say you are?

I think bobblebuddy is right- can be hard to get perspective when you are the one in a situation. I remember getting really upset when new neighbours cut my grass without asking- I was newly pregnant, my mum had just died and my DH had been away for weeks, but I assumed they'd done it because they thought our garden was letting the neighbourhood down- I ranted at DH about it like a loo, but he took it their attempt to be neighbourly and helpful, while I was convinced they were trying to make a point. In retrospect, I think he was right and can't believe I got so worked up about it

Obviously, I ranted like a looN, not a loo!

Don't be remorseful, greeny- I would have to try and be sorry too since I aqreed with you and I don't feel sorry at all because you didn't do nothink wrong! Jaffa- you are obviously a clever person because you like jaffa cakes and jaffa cakes are delicious.

Sorry, I dissapeared to the GP's for babys jabs.

Fanjo I am not offended about being told I am BU, I said that earlier.

Green, I'm sorry, you didn't offend me. I know you were supporting me thank you, it wasn't aimed directly at you. Spit your foot back out and here's some glue.

Think I'm having a day!

Jaffas are Yummy!

Sorry, I thought this line meant you were offended at being unreasonable:

"Anyhow, forget it now, I am thick and unreasonable so I have learnt a valuable lesson for today"

Anyway being flamed on here and having baby jabs is too much for one day, hope your evening is better

Perhaps you could buy him the matching earring?