TO consider sending DS to a "Pirates and Princesses" birthday party dressed as a princess?

[ScarlettCrossbones]

It's another short notice one, and apart from the hassle of whipping up some sort of costume between now and the weekend, AIBU to think that to force 4-year-olds to choose between dressing up as a marauding murderer or a prissy pink fairytale female stereotype is just the thin end of the wedge?? They're only 5 FGS!

I think I won't tell DS, make some excuse and go to the park instead ...

It's not exactly difficult to make a pirate outfit - my DD always likes wearing a pirate costume to pirate and princess parties.

The problem is that they can't really choose, can they? My ds1 was invited to one and he really wanted to go as a princess, and I didn't let him. And feel a bit rubbish about it. He went as a pirate, but was v easy - stripy t-shirt, hat bought from mothercare and a sparkly scarf that I got in a charity shop round his waist as a sort of cummerbund. There was one girl pirate, but no boy princesses.

Will your DD enjoy herself?

Dress her up as a pirate and grin and bear it

Oops, sorry, just noticed you have a DS!

I think you might be overthinking......

And anyway, my ds hates dressing up so always goes to parties in his normal clothes. He hasn't yet been refused admission.

If you are so up in arms about gender stereotyping at this age, why don't you just send him to the party without dressing up?? He is five - just go with the flow and let him run around and go mad for a few hours with his classmates ...

I agree I'd be irritated about gender stereotypping, but actually pirates are gender-neutral (there are famous women pirates in history, my nieces have a book about it). And there are the Amazon girls.

I have 3 dds and two of them loathe princesses, fairies and pink, they like being pirates.

at least there's choice on your invitation. My dds get invited to parties with just the princess option, they tend to refuse to go to those.

What an interesting thread. My gut reaction is shamefully unbalanced - pirate okay for girls, princess not okay for boys. But then tbh I can't stand sappy princessy stuff on girls, either. If it were my DS's party I would only have a Pirates theme so all the girls can be just as gung-ho as the boys .

On a separate note I think 4-5 year olds would be aware of gender stereotypes, wouldn't they? If they were 2 or 3 it might be different, but I always kids are very switched on about these things much earlier than we expect/ hope.

Patch over an eye or a scarf/bandana on the head. Job's a good 'un.

You could send him as a prince, if he preferred that to piracy (though why any child would is beyond me).

i agree 4-5 year olds are often very aware of what's seen as appropriate for their gender. my dd3, just 5, is the most aware of my 3 girls about what's proper girl behaviour - she would happily dress as a princess. The 9 and 7 year olds prefer to ignore or challenge the stereotypes.

DD and DS went to one of these at the weekend. DD wore a navy dress and a pirate scarf with skull and cross bones on her face. DS (3) said he wasn't in the mood to dress up and wore normal clothes. They had a great time until DD's best friend, whose party it was, told her that her dress wasn't pretty and glittery enough and she should have worn eyeshadow and lipstick. Silly cah.

I don't get why some people get so het up about this sort of stuff.

You either let your child chose to go in fancy dress or they go in normal clothes, or they don't go at all.

Pirates can be girl or boys - doesn't have to be a boy.

Yes, princesses are girls, but if you wanted to go down that road go as a prince.

YBH though children are children, and they just like to wear what they chose. And whether parents like it or not many (not all I agree) children actuall do go for the gender specific costumes for a while, Doesn't mean they will all become illadjusted adults who will only war a ball gown to go out of doors!

I am training my son to be a drag queen. Is that wrong?

LOL at Sally.

When my ds was 3-4 he used to ADORE dressing up in princess dresses (childminder had 2 daughters, they had a huge collection of them). He loved the swishy feel of them, and I'm sure he would have liked to go to a party in one.

Now aged 9, he's very macho, and HATES being reminded of his former hobby (altho loves the idea of the swishy cloaks that the characters wear in Robin Hood or Merlin on TV)

Ds is nearly 7 and still doesn't mind dressing up in whatever. Anything for a laugh, really.

Btw, FENNEL!!! Did you get my email? (sorry for hijack)

Message withdrawn

you are mad, sorry, get a life.

My gut reaction is that it's not on to make your DS go as a Princess, and the 2 bys in my extended family (one of almost 5 and the other aged 6) would both refuse to go as anything other than a Pirate, I am pretty sure of that.

All the girls in DDs class are princess mad, but would quite happily dress as pirate girls if everyone else did. In fact, DD has a girls pirate costume which still gets played with now.

No, I won't send him as a princess, don't worry. I wouldn't risk him being laughed at just to make a point!

Prince is an idea though ... Prince of Darkness, perhaps? He could then go round drawing blood from the necks of all the simpering prissy pink princesses .

Send him in purple satin as The Artist Formerly Known As Prince.

YABU, sorry. We as parents need to get over ourselves with the gender sterotyping thinking. My DS1 had a pirates and princesses party at 5. Some kids came in normal clothes, some boys and girls as pirates, some girls as princesses. No boys as princesses though I know boys who would have at 3 rather than 5. They could all make crowns/pirate hats as they liked.

As for a costume theme you really can't get any easier. Stripey T shirt or one of your blouses with a sash. Scarf or pirate hat and face paint. You can buy stuff everywhere or its easy to make with him - loo roll telescope anyone?

Have you asked him what he thinks?

Love it, ninedragons!

Yes, I have asked him and he says "Pirates are not very nice. That's a skull. That's disgusting!" ... or words along those lines. So I'm leaning towards TAFKAP now ...

whats TAFKAP? is it a new acronim that i have missed while ive been away