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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

this sort of thing should be a criminal offence?

71 replies

Springfleurs · 05/05/2009 18:16

Today rushing up the tube stairs with heavy two year old in a buggy, I nudged a man coming down. He immediately shouted agressively "WATCH IT!" I said "just trying to get this tube", he shouted "STUPID FUCKING COW!". I just looked at him him in shock, he then called me "a stupid fcking cnt" followed by telling me "there are too many f*cking kids in this world anyway, need to get rid of some", meaning dd in her buggy.

All this abuse because I nudged him with a buggy handle as I rushed for a tube.

I felt utterly helpless and humiliated. No-one said anything, although one man helped me get the buggy the rest of the way up and patted me on the shoulder as I was crying. I feel like shit, as bad I think as if he had punched me. Felt so helpless as well, there was absolutely nothing I could do except listen to it right in front of my dd. What else can you do? Not illegal is it as far as I know to disgustingly, verbally abuse a defenceless woman and toddler?

OP posts:

BigBellasBeerBelly · 05/05/2009 20:00

I can't believe he wanted to kill you r child.

So many people around like that just waiting for an opportunity to hurt people and children etc.

I am terrified to go out these days.

hobbgoblin · 05/05/2009 20:03

I had a cyclist call me a fucking cow this weekend. ~He also did a rude arm gesture.

He made me laugh at his vileness. I waved.

Have been upset by road rage man recently so understand and sympathise.

BigBellasBeerBelly · 05/05/2009 20:05

Sorry that was a bit silly. of course he didn't. I haven't been feeling quite well lately and your post hit a nerve.

Yes it is a criminal offence to verbally abuse and swear at people.

You should just try and forget about it though, most people are nice (so I'm told).

Nekabu · 05/05/2009 20:39

Let's not just concentrate on the person who was so vile, let's not forget:

"although one man helped me get the buggy the rest of the way up and patted me on the shoulder as I was crying."

moffat · 05/05/2009 20:50

What a despicable man. It is shocking when this kind of thing happens and it is also very upsetting. I know how you feel, its awful to be at the receiving end of such anger. Hope you feel better soon, and the best thing in these situations is to maintain your dignity, which it sounds as though you did.

Longtalljosie · 05/05/2009 21:10

Oh my God Crackfox the same thing happened to me on the tube!

Was it a middle-aged woman that did it to your SIL? I'm pregnant, and was sitting next to her - and suddenly apropos of nothing she just stamped on my foot! I said to her "that hurt!" and she just muttered something (couldn't hear it) and stared off into the distance!

TheCrackFox · 05/05/2009 21:17

No it was a man. My SIL is a tough cookie but it really upset her.

I think there seems to be quite a lot of nutters on the tube.

BeatrixRotter · 05/05/2009 21:21

Have to agree with what everyone says about London. I was trying to get off a crowded tube when I was 8 months pregnant and a young guy got on blocking my exit and then because I was in his way he pushed me off the tube. I was so shocked I burst into tears.

People did ask me if I was ok though, like the man who helped you so thank god there are these people out there. Sorry you had to encounter such b'stard today, hope you meets lots of lovely people tomorrow.

steviesgirl · 05/05/2009 22:00

Sounds like the bastard had a problem with women and kids and that was his sad little way of "getting his own back". Probably had a woman dump him or treat him bad; pitiful creature (him).

The lack of respect for women these days is actually quite unbelievable. But another man helped you, so don't lose hope on the human race entirely. Most people are good. You will always get the odd tosser though.

BigBellasBeerBelly · 06/05/2009 09:49

Is everyone in agreement that men in london are more violent than men in other parts of the country? There seems to be a lot of feeling in that direction

pinkstarfish · 06/05/2009 10:26

What an arse. If that was me I'd be tempted to take me shoe off and hurl it 150mph right at his head. Sorry it happened to you

oldraver · 06/05/2009 10:27

"there are too many fcking kids in this world anyway, need to get rid of some"*

If only his Mother could of forseen what he would turn out like, maybe she would of though better of it

Mybox · 06/05/2009 10:28

What an idiot - there are some horrid people.

Bonneville · 06/05/2009 10:36

I abhor men like this - I bet he wouldnt have dared do this if it had been a man with a buggy! What a stupid woman-hating coward. Dont give it a second thought.

BigBellasBeerBelly · 06/05/2009 10:41

beatrix you could have been really badly hurt.

I think a lot of people are just waiting for an opportunity to injure women and children, and really love it when they see the chance to push you over or try to run you down or whatever.

i didn't realise that this constant threat was so much worse in london than elsewhere though, i suppose I'm used to London.

Original poster

Springfleurs · 06/05/2009 12:49

"I think a lot of people are just waiting for an opportunity to injure women and children, and really love it when they see the chance to push you over or try to run you down or whatever."

I think there is an element of truth in this. I don't know if people go around looking for it so much but when they opportunity arises there seems real anger towards women, mothers or otherwise. I am not articulate enough come up with an explanation for the anti women and children behaviours I witness or experience nearly every day in our society. I wish someone educated could come on here and explain why so many men seem to hate and disrespect so many women in their lives, both within relationships or even just passing by them on the tube.

I had to use the tube again today but I walked up to the next station, just in case. I felt angry with myself for doing that but I couldn't face possibly seeing him again.

It is true though, there are also some lovely ones about. A few months ago two young lads wearing hoodies and looking about as scary as is possible to look carried dd in her buggy up the tube stairs for me, one of them was smoking and his mate gave him a right bollocking - "Get rid of your fag, you can't be smoking around no baby". They were lovely.

OP posts:

Feelingoptimistic · 06/05/2009 14:28

Agree with SF's last post. I am also in London, and have had some quite scary looking guys be really lovely and helpful in situations like on the bus, etc. But there are also lots of men who seem to really hate women, and in particular women with children.

Iklboo · 06/05/2009 14:35

A bloke deliberatley rammed my shopping trolley with Ds in (about 14 months old at the time) and started shouting the usual 'look where you're f*cking going you stupid fat bitch' etc.
Unfortunately for him I was not in the mood to be spoken to like that and tore him several strips off. Several other mums clustered round saying he'd done the same to them. Security became quite interested and Hopefully the arsehole who shouted at you will get infected piles and incurable thrush

BigBellasBeerBelly · 06/05/2009 15:13

What can be done to avoid these people though?

And why is it worse in London?

southeastastra · 06/05/2009 15:20

when i lived in london, i was walking along holding my son's (then a toddler) hand as he walked along a wall. a young bloke walked past us and just spat at me.

was frightening and odd.

screamingabdab · 06/05/2009 19:26

There are more people in London, ergo, there will be more gits/nutters

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