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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that a pub that admits children should let a desperate 3 year old use their loo.

43 replies

RedFraggle · 04/05/2009 19:34

We were out for the day yesterday, walking along the road when DD did her "I need a wee" trick. Meaning she needed a wee instantly. There was a pub across the road so I legged across with her and asked the barmaid if my daughter could use their toilet please. I was told that no, the toilets were strictly for customers only, I said "Please, she is desperate".
Surly madam behind the bar said no again and directed me to the public loos (about a 10 minute walk away). Needless to say dd couldn't make it and so I had to hold her while she had an outdoor wee. Not ideal.

So am I being unreasonable? I could understand enforcing this rule for adults, fair enough, but for a small child? Isn't it being a bit OTT?

OP posts:

bargainhuntingbetty · 04/05/2009 19:37

I have always been allowed in to places for thhe children to wee. I have to say that on one occasion I was desperate and made dd come in with me and act like she needed the loo , not one of my proudest moments.

Woman behind the bar obviously has no children.

naturalblonde · 04/05/2009 19:37

YANBU> I had the same thing. We were shopping and spent a huge amount of money, and still told us to take DD to McDonalds, even though she was bouncing up and down with her legs crossed. I was really tempted to just let her wee all over their carpet for crappy customer service like that.

BrendaAndEddie · 04/05/2009 19:37

i woudl haev bought a drink and handed it back

FluffyBunnyGoneBad · 04/05/2009 19:37

I thought they were supposto let members of the public use their loos?

It's mean not to allow a small child to use them. I'd name and shame. You are not being unreasonable.

FiveGoMadInDorset · 04/05/2009 19:38

Don't ask in future? Just go.

tigana · 04/05/2009 19:39

WAs the pub empty then...otherwise how would she know you weren't a customer?

Barmaid has no children one assumes...

should have peed on their doorstep

choufleur · 04/05/2009 19:39

i was told that in a cafe the other day (only place nearby with a toilet). i told the 16ish stropy girl that i'd just let ds wee on her floor in that case. she let me use the loo.

KingCanuteIAm · 04/05/2009 19:40

Couldn't you just have said fair enough I will grab a drink after so she doesn't have an accident on your floor. THen come out, buy a weak cordial with water (about 20p) and then leave.

I have never come across this before, they always seem to let children if you are polite enough to ask first!

naturalblonde · 04/05/2009 19:40

Really should read messages before I post.

But you get the idea. Mean people.

tigana · 04/05/2009 19:40

yes i thought " I wouldn't ask, I'd just go" but then thought that can be harder in a deserted pub.

Original poster

RedFraggle · 04/05/2009 19:45

I was very polite and thought it better to ask.
The bar was quite busy, not heaving though.

She was a very surly mid-twenties bar-maid and I did think at the time "Bet you have no children - hope this comes back to bite you on the ass one day"

Tigana - dd weed in their ornamental flower bed at the side of the pub as there was nowhere else we could make it to.
Not something I would ever usually do but I was so angry that she would rather see a small child wet herself than let my dd use their loo.

Name and shame? - It was the ship inn at Parkgate, Wirral.

OP posts:

CapnScurvySeaWitch · 04/05/2009 19:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MoominMymbleandMy · 04/05/2009 19:45

Completely OTT. It would have served her right if your LO had left a puddle on the floor.

TheCrackFox · 04/05/2009 19:53

Busy place = don't bother asking as the staff won't notice.

I have worked in bars and hotels for years and I would always say "yes" to toilet requests. It just give your establishment a arsey reputation otherwise.

cheekster · 04/05/2009 19:55

I agree, dont bother asking in future.

MammaTiggy · 04/05/2009 20:01

yanbu - i agree just don't ask in future.

honestly what a total idiot of a barmaid i would have been so so cross!!!!

namebacon · 04/05/2009 20:02

And this is why I don't ask, I just take them in to the toilet.

Original poster

RedFraggle · 04/05/2009 20:05

Sorry - Ship Hotel, Parkgate.

I know I could probably have just gone without asking, but I prefer to ask if I haven't been in the pub eating / drinking.

Serves me right for being polite I guess....

OP posts:

naturalblonde · 04/05/2009 20:46

Matalan in Filton, Bristol

BigusBumus · 04/05/2009 20:53

I asked in a fancy sandwich shop / cheese shop in Bedford the other day (in which we were eating thier hugely expensive rolls)as my 6 yr old DS was desperate and was told No due to insurance reasons they were not allowed to let customers use their loo! Who would have known!!!???

I have been allowed to use staff loos in almost every other place, the Co-op, Budgens, Waitrose, other cafes with DS before now. What made her cheese shop so different?? And she was a mother to DS of the same age, as we'd had a conversation about that when we were choosing our rolls.

The Akward Cow.

choufleur · 04/05/2009 21:03

i thought it was a legal requirement to have a toilet in cafes, restaurants etc. that is if you are eating in.

i complained to NEXT fairly recently as they wouldn't let DS use their staff loos. i got £25 gift voucher.

melpomene · 04/05/2009 21:18

YANBU, she should have been allowed to use it.

I was just starting to try on some clothes in White Stuff a couple of weeks ago when dd1 needed the toilet. They wouldn't let her use the staff toilet (despite me asking to speak to the manager) because "We're not insured." They advised me to go to a public toilet elsewhere and I made clear that I wouldn't be returning, thus losing them £80 or so of custom because if we'd been able to stay in the shop I would have bought some of the things I was trying on.

BigBellasBeerBelly · 04/05/2009 21:24

i always ask in pubs as I think it's only polite. Especially if they have patrons only signs. I've never been refused.

I don;t think they have to let you go by law. There was a scheme somewhere for restaurants cafes etc to open up their toilets to the public, and teh council were going to pay them. It was started by the "more public bogs" foundation or someone but i don't know what happened to it.

i think they only have to let you go if you are pregnant?

Anyways she was a complete bitch and if I ever find myself in your neck of the wood i will not be giving her any business.

Original poster

RedFraggle · 04/05/2009 21:27

Melpomene - it is crazy how they will do themselves out of business isn't it?

I will certainly never go to that pub now. And.. I will tell EVERYONE I know about my experience ensuring that they lose lots more businees through word of mouth.

I'm sure you feel that way over the White Stuff too, all that over letting a small child use a toilet.
As I said in my earlier post I could understand if it was an adult to some extent as adults can usually plan their toilet trips to ensure they reach a loo unfortunately small children are not really known for that type of foresight...

OP posts:

dilemma456 · 04/05/2009 21:40

Message withdrawn

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