To think that a pub that admits children should let a desperate 3 year old use their loo.

[RedFraggle]

We were out for the day yesterday, walking along the road when DD did her "I need a wee" trick. Meaning she needed a wee instantly. There was a pub across the road so I legged across with her and asked the barmaid if my daughter could use their toilet please. I was told that no, the toilets were strictly for customers only, I said "Please, she is desperate".
Surly madam behind the bar said no again and directed me to the public loos (about a 10 minute walk away). Needless to say dd couldn't make it and so I had to hold her while she had an outdoor wee. Not ideal.

So am I being unreasonable? I could understand enforcing this rule for adults, fair enough, but for a small child? Isn't it being a bit OTT?

BigBella - our council are currently trying to start a scheme like that - but not in addition to the public toilets, as they are actually planning to close the few that still remain in the borough.
They are offering a reduction of up to £600 in the rates, but afaik, none of the shops or pubs have agreed.

This is the same council that recently removed all the dog-shit bins from the parks without notice; they are obviously aiming for the title of the crappiest council in England....

Very mean.

Which council is it rusty? if you don't mind saying?

That must be the one I read about.

Having asked and been refused in places before, now if either DC (or me sometimes) needs the loo, we'll just go straight in without asking- as someone said if challenged I'd probably buy a lime & soda (which in my uni days used to cost 15p, can't be vastly more now I would hope!) & hand it back.

No, I don't mind saying - it's Wokingham.

So possibly no public bogs in wokingham soon eh?

Noted the name of the pub and won't be going there!

I agree with not asking and just going in. You could always try threatening to write to the local paper saying how nasty they were and urging people not to go there, to see if the threat of bad publicity on the spot makes any difference. Also, how about going back in and asking to speak to the manager and complaining?

A public library near me was refurbished (at some expense) last year and the decision was deliberately made that they would not put in public toilets, to encourage people to go elsewhere. This for a place that says it wants to encourage children, old people etc to use it!! The idiots. They said in the end that in 'extreme circumstances' people would be allowed to use the staff toilets - I have always meant to go in and test this offer out...

This is a bugbear of mine as I have a health condition that means I often have to dash off to find a toilet. I am always annoyed when people act as if a normal bodily function is somehow unreasonable and should be suppressed.

I agree that the op should have been allowed to use the loos in the pub However when it comes to people asking to use the staff loos in shops is different altogether. I work in a shop where the staff loo is situated right through the back stockroom; staff members leave coats and bags through there. Its just not practical for it to be for public use (even in an emergency). Sorry.

Only place I've ever been refused the use of a loo for DD in an emergency is Mothercare, of all places - they'd closed their public loo as it was being 'abused' - the very unsympathetic 16yr old on the counter pointed out a KFC (which wasn't open) halfway down the road as a suggested alternative... thankfully DD was on that occasion able to hold on until we got to the NHS diabetic clinic just past it (which was open) and beg to use their loo...

Matalan, B&Q, Lidl and the pitch n' putt at Ally Pally have all opened up for DD and her 'wait til we're nowhere near a toilet' bowel reflex, bless 'em.

Waltham Forest in London have introduced that scheme with the pubs and cafes opening their loos to everyone. Unfortunately, in Leytonstone at least, all participants are crammed up one end of the High Street, so you'd better not be caught short down the other!

I usually go up to bar, order a drink of orange juice or whatever, and then go with sprog to toilet. Provided you order a drink pubs are fine with kids using the toilet. My parents used to do this with us when small. It's not a public toilet it's a pub. You want to use the toilet you buy a drink first.

EightiesChick, re public library, I think that's particularly appalling - I don't think I would have dared go to our local library last year when I was pregnant with ds2 without a toilet I could use myself, and changing facilities for ds1 were very useful. There are various groups that meet there and I now have a 3 month old ds who would need to come to anyhing with me as well.

The place that really annoys me is one of my local parks - there are toilets there but they are locked up way before the advertised time - dusk from October to March and 7 pm from April to September - and before the cafe they're next door to closes. On recent visits in March when it was light until at least 6 and April, they've been locked by about 5 pm and there's been a huge queue of non-disabled adult men for disabled toilets (what about people who really need those facilities?)

I was once told the same in a cafe at 8 months pregnant, I pointed at my stomach and said in a crazy high pitched pregnant voice " I need to wee now not in 5 mins not till i get home NOW" She just pointed in the toilet direction.

Next time i wouldnt even ask, how do staff know your not going to buy a drink when you come out?
What is the worst they could say/do? Even if i was polite enough to ask (which i'm not!) and they said no i'd still go.

I used to work in a pub pre ds, and i could care less if people were using the loos without purchase.

Places without public loos i feel are different re: safety of personal property. IMO

Thanks for the heads-up,i will avoid that pub like the plaque now

We live not far away from there & sometimes go for a walk & an ice cream from the parlour near there but will stay away from that awful sounding pub.

I've had this twice when my 2 were smaller and took them anyway. What are they going to do? Call the police? Stupid jumped up power tripping idiots don't scare me. Ask, and if you get a no, just go in.

I reckon the manager of this pub should be inubdated with phone calls asking why a three year old was refused use of a toilet

I would have just gone in and used the toilet. Then if they said anything nasty to me after I came out, I'd just say "Well, the plan WAS to use the toilet, then buy a drink but since you're so rude, forget it!" Then walk out.

i would have just used the toilet

was the pub child friendly - ie could you take them in there normally?

maybe she was saying no as wasnt allowed children?

There was a sign up saying that well behaved children could come in accompanied by adults (or something like that) so children were permitted in the pub.

2rebecca as I said earlier - I'd never do this for myself but for a three year old? Well sometimes it is any port in a storm. I'd left my purse in the back of the pram with DH, so in order to buy a drink I would have had to drag dd back across the road to get cash and then back across again to buy a drink and then get her to the loo. There was definitely not time on this occasion!

I just didn't think anyone would be quite so petty over a child using a loo... Evidently I am not in a minority.

Re: shops. I used to work in a branch of Index as a student, we had staff loos up about 4 flights of stairs where all our belongings were kept. If a desperate child needed the loo a member of staff would escort them up there. loiter outside the loo and escort them back down. It's not impossible if you have a customer focused manager.