Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to have a party for ds?

51 replies

InternationalFlight · 04/05/2009 18:02

He really wants one but all the other parents are seemingly loaded and hire church halls and invite the entire class.

I don't know what to do...I'm not really friendly enough with them to ask anyone to help, either, so it would just be me and 30 kids.

Thought about having 5 or 6 of his little friends here instead, but same thing - how many kids can one adult safely deal with?

I'm rubbish at social stuff and don't know how to organise children or get them doing games etc - honestly it is like a foreign language to me.

Times like this I wish ds's father was still around.

OP posts:
Original poster
InternationalFlight · 04/05/2009 18:05

Thinking about it this really shouldn't be in aibu as I will doubtless get slaughtered

I am lying awake at night worrying about it, I know he needs to have a party like everyone else but I am cr*pping myself about it.

OP posts:
Numberfour · 04/05/2009 18:05

how old is your son?

Original poster
InternationalFlight · 04/05/2009 18:05

He'll be 6 in a few weeks.

OP posts:
Numberfour · 04/05/2009 18:07

don't worry about anyone flaming you for being in AIBU! that's just pathetic if they do, and besides, it is clear that you are distressed! give us some more info about your DS and we can take it from there (i am certainly not loaded but am a childminder so hopefull will have some useful ideas!0

PM73 · 04/05/2009 18:07

Could you not take your ds & a couple of his best mates to the bowling alley & pizza afterwards?

BitOfFun · 04/05/2009 18:08

Trip to the pictures with two or three mates, pizza back at yours and some birthday cake. Bob's yer uncle

Numberfour · 04/05/2009 18:08

so that means his friends are round about the same age. i reckon you could handle 4 or 5 of them for 2 hours!

is it possible to have a do of some sort at your home?

you will need some space, some food, some entertainment.

what space to you have available?

Original poster
InternationalFlight · 04/05/2009 18:09

Bless you

He's very active, loves to run about - we've a big garden and I just got him and ds2 (nearly 2) a climbing frame, they have swings and slide and so on.

I thought about just leaving them all in the garden for a couple of hours but have a feeling more effort is going to be required, and I dont know where to start

Party bags I can do
Can buy a cake

It's the other stuff, games and so on.

OP posts:
missmapp · 04/05/2009 18:09

We went to a really good low key party last week, just 6 children in the birthday boys garden. The mum had bought an outside sports day style games kit from Matalan( £8, I know because as ds enjoyed it so much we bought one today) and the kids just did races all afternoon, stickers for all who took part and a sweet for the winner. Then a quick party tea and home. It was only a small garden, but everyone had great fun, ds is still talking about it.

Original poster
InternationalFlight · 04/05/2009 18:10

Bof - would 5&6 yos sit still in the cinema? Have never tried! Plus ds2 to incorporate, arghhh

OP posts:
Numberfour · 04/05/2009 18:10

soft play then back to yours for food? bowling alley and pizza great idea!

anything active, i reckon.

don't feel you HAVE to have 30 children with a high flying juggler, magician and clown for the children.

Greensneeze · 04/05/2009 18:10

I'd be very surprise if anyone flamed you for this!

I think we do what we can do where this sort of thing is concerned. Not everybody has a whole-class party with a bloody juggler etc. Not all children like that sort of party either.

If he's 6, would he like a trip to cinema/bowling with a few selected friends? Or a picnic in the park where the invitees bring a picnic and you tie a few balloons to trees and let the kids run around and play?

Don't put too much pressure on yourself - not everybody either wants to or is able to do big parties.

Original poster
InternationalFlight · 04/05/2009 18:10

Missmapp thanks that sounds Ok. Races sounds easy enough.

OP posts:
missmapp · 04/05/2009 18:12

it was great, and no pressure, some kids didnt take part in all the races, but just played with garden toys - was really relaxed and fun

Original poster
InternationalFlight · 04/05/2009 18:13

Thankyou you are all so nice.

We haven't got a bowling alley here - there's one in the next town but I can't imagine how we would get 5/6 kids there?

Park sounds like the easiest option!

Partly I am scared of the other parents seeing our place - it's shall we say, under renovation, the garden is fine but the thought of anyone helping out in the kitchen or anything fills me with dread.

OP posts:
Numberfour · 04/05/2009 18:13

some soft play places are quite reasonably priced and include meals / stuff to eat.

i also don't really think a trip to cinema is probably best.

swimming party?

just seen you have ds2. i vote soft play or what missmapp suggests and rope in a friend to help with offer of wine and yummy snacks once all the children are gone.......

Numberfour · 04/05/2009 18:16

just seen that you have a big garden. use it!!
if it is hot, get the sprinkler out. jumping castles are not that pricey, afaik.

if your home is being renovated, the other parents will understand, not all people are out to sneer at others!! and one way of getting to know people and becoming more comfortable with them is to invie them to yours

have coffee and cake in case adults want to stay.

i really really think you should just hold something at yours, especially with the big garden and outdoor stuff you have! any chance you could bbq some burgers or sausages?? if that's your thing.... def is ours!

sarah293 · 04/05/2009 18:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Blondeshavemorefun · 04/05/2009 18:18

6 at home will prob stress you out,so if you can afford it i would either do a soft play party - most are about £7per child including food

or a cinema party - that way you just have to sit with them, and not run about getting hot and bothered and worrying that they are behaving theirselves

parents can drop off and pick up from cinema, you can let each child spend £1 on sweets or take cartoons for them or you can take to pizza hut/food as well if walkable from cinema, and get parents to pick up from there

Numberfour · 04/05/2009 18:18

pass the parcel
musical statues
treasure hunt
hide and seek
water play

FiveGoMadInDorset · 04/05/2009 18:19

5 or 6 friends out in the garden, water baloons, running around, pizza and cake.

Greensneeze · 04/05/2009 18:20

park ones I've been to have been lovely, super-relaxed and parents have loved it too. Rugs and blankets on the grass, a few balloons tied on trees etc. Everyone brings stuff to eat, you can either share or not - the kids run about and play games - no pressure, no embarrassment.

Original poster
InternationalFlight · 04/05/2009 18:20

Ok, will think in terms of using the garden, it seems obvious now doesn't it!

I'm the world's worst cook/ host (well, I've never done it) but will be able to buy some nice cake I think, maybe make sarnies etc.

Maybe I could get a bouncy castle thing, they look really cheap in argos etc...thanks for the ideas.

You know when you just completely suck at one thing? this is my nemesis!

OP posts:
welshbyrd · 04/05/2009 18:20

hmmmmmmm in my personal circumstances, my son is nearly 6, every party we have either been to or have held, the parents tend to stay too

Agood way to have a chat and get to know some mums better

TheProfiteroleThief · 04/05/2009 18:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.