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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

in thinking that sometimes, just sometimes, it takes you completely flipping out to make the kids sit up and take notice?

41 replies

AphroditeInHerNightie · 04/05/2009 12:10

dons flame-proof suit

right, we've had a hellish morning. Both dcs woke up in grumpy moods, sniping at each other. Neither one has taken a blind bit of notice when told not to do something, at times defiantly doing the forbidden deed as I looked on. DS has regressed in his potty-training, DD is just being a stroppy madam, complaining about everything. She even cried and told me I was being unfair about suggesting a picnic on the beach (wtf???).
After two refused breakfasts, one of which ended up all over the floor, I conceded and went upstairs to get dressed. I came back down, all of 2 minutes later to find the downstairs bathroom sink overflowing and DS gleefully splashing in the puddles. (by the way, he is 3, she's 7).
Well, I'm not proud to admit it, but I lost it totally, screaming at them both so loud that my throat hurt.
Time out ensued, the two of them on seperate stairs, me in the bathroom sobbing.
When it had all settled down we had a calm chat about it all. And I have to report that, ever since, their behaviour has been exemplary - they even tried - and ate - foods for lunch that they normally refuse. And the potty's back in use, too.
I am aware that I may have scared the little devils into submission, but is it such a bad thing ....really?!

OP posts:
earlyriser · 04/05/2009 12:12

know where you are coming from! think if a once off and not a daily occurence then yanbu

ilove · 04/05/2009 12:15

Nope totally agree...I'm heading for that point right now with the contant defiance I am getting!

PinkBubblesGoApe · 04/05/2009 12:17

I think everyone snaps eventually! IMO its not a bad thing for our DCs to see there is such a thing as pushing mum too far. Obviously within bounds and not too often!

DS has never forgotten the day I lost it and threw his PS2 in the rubbish (I checked frst to see if the bin wasn't too icky and later retrieved it lol).

SOLOisMeredithGrey · 04/05/2009 12:19

I'm a regular flipper outer!!!

sarah293 · 04/05/2009 12:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

HeinzSight · 04/05/2009 12:23

Sadly it does sometimes need for children to see that they've pushed too far. Please don't feel guitly, we've all done it!

Stayingsunnygirl · 04/05/2009 12:29

Another one in the YANBU, we've all done it camp.

Sometimes an all-bells-and-whistles, full-orchestra-and-chorus reading of the Riot Act is what's needed to make them realise the error of their ways.

steviesgirl · 04/05/2009 12:33

I know the feeling all too well. My dd is nearly 3 and tries me every single day at every single meal time at the mo. "I don't like it" > "I want my chicken"! I get so frustrated.

Yesterday we came home after an active afternoon at the park and she was obviously hungry. "I don't want my dinner" Me: "Of course you do, you've been running around all afternoon. You've got to eat something" She kept on like this until in the end I said I would put her to bed if she didn't eat. She still tried me so I carried out what I'd said; I put her in her bed and shut the door! Only for a couple of minutes whilst she screamed saying "I want to have my dinner, mummy"

Took her back downstairs and she sat and ate every bit without saying a word! All I can say was it worked!

FromGirders · 04/05/2009 13:13

My mum once said, that the lesson children have to learn sometimes isn't just coundaries and appropriate behaviour, but that if they push mummy too far, she will snap.

SugarBird · 04/05/2009 13:26

YA definitely NBU! We all have our limits and reading your post I could almost feel that sore throat I've had in the past from screaming at the top of my voice.

It's horrible when it happens but I agree that it does no harm for children to see that you're human and that if they push you too far, they'll get a reaction. And it often does lead to a really good calm-down chat afterwards.

Hope you're feeling better

SparklingSarah · 04/05/2009 13:59

snap!

really lost it Saturday with 7 yo DD
her friend next door but one had friends over and she was whining about the unfairness of it all blah blah blah whine whine whine
everyone elses life is great mine is shite blah blah
so I lost it sometimes I really do wonder how children are quite so well frankly horrible
I made her sit in her bedroom all afternoon and removed certain toys
WE had a chat afterwards

but christ I want to shake her sometimes
she can't see that there are days when so and so is doing piss all and she's having fun

Numberfour · 04/05/2009 18:49

YAdefNBU

i also know that sore throat feeling! and then DS carries on happily after armegeddon has taken place, as if nothing happened.

it does not happen often, but when i do lose it, then DS gets to know.

WoTmania · 04/05/2009 18:55

YANBU

DS1 - a mere 3 - regularly pushes, pushes, pushes til I explode (then of course it's tears and wailing as if it was out of the blue and I hadn't already asked/told him not to/tried to stop him pleasantly and gently about 7-8 times). But he does usually get better for a while.

NoBiggy · 04/05/2009 18:59

Good god yes. We're all human.

TheCrackFox · 04/05/2009 19:00

YANBU

Infact your day sounds scarily similar to mine.

They have whinged, whined and hit each other all weekend. (7 and 4yr old boys)

The whole weekend has been full of stuff they wanted to do - museum, cinema, meal out, pocket money toys from toy shop, cake at Starbucks. It never seems enough.

Next bank holiday I will do what I want to do and they can lump it.

Wallace · 04/05/2009 19:02

Similar day here too.

I actually stopped the car in a layby and yelled at ds1 and dd to get out of the car. I stood them at the side of the road and gave them a real talking too. Quiet as mice the whole way home.

Stayingsunnygirl · 04/05/2009 20:02

Dh's mum actually turned him and his brother out of the car once, and drove off. It was a quiet road and these were more innocent times, of course!

She sat in a layby just over a mile on, and watched in the mirror as the two of them trudged up hill into sight and then down out of sight again along the undulating road.

Apparently they were good as gold afterwards!! (Disclaimer: Neither MIL, Dh or I would recommend this as a sensible course of action nowadays).

poopscoop · 04/05/2009 20:10

YABU - That is a terrible way to treat your dc.

poopscoop · 04/05/2009 20:11
iwanttolearn · 04/05/2009 20:14

YANBU

I have an aunt I'm very close to. I remember in my late teens I was a total rebel and one day she tol me to do something and of course, I didn't.

She banned me from something I really wanted to do, and believe me, I shaped up. It was the only time she ever raiser her voice at me. I've never forgotten it.

Wallace · 04/05/2009 20:18

I must admit that when I told the kids to get out of the car, I didn't actually say I was going to drive off and leave them, but they did assume that I was

Jajas · 04/05/2009 20:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

brimfull · 04/05/2009 20:24

periodic flipper-outer here

I find tears are very effective at getting them to tidy up really quickly and quietly

Numberfour · 04/05/2009 20:27

ggirl, your tears or theirs????

rookiemater · 04/05/2009 20:42

YANBU, provided its not a regular occurence.

Last week I took DS swimming. He is your typical perverse 3 year old but loves swimming, so its a reasonably trouble free couple of hours.

This time he decided that he would not wear his new trunks, did not like them, and when in fact I calmly gave him the choice he would rather go home than wear the hateful new swimming gear.

At that point I put my head in my hands because I really didn't want to go home and was feeling a bit upset about the whole thing.

Ds must have sensed the change in mood because he then grabbed the swimming trunks off me going " Okay Mummy I put them on, we go swimming now, you okay Mummy ?"

I think they do have empathy lurking around in their brains somewhere but only get pushed into using it in extreme circumstances.