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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to complain to the council about neighbours' constant noise?

31 replies

morningpaper · 02/05/2009 15:48

They don't play music (often) but they just SHOUT all the time. Sometimes arguments but more often just SHOUTING and playing games. I am currently in the house, about 150 ft away from their garden, and I can here them perfectly clearly shouting "OVER HERE! YOU WANKER!" and stuff like that.

It is CONSTANT during the weekends on nice days. I feel like taping it and sending it to the council...

The thing is, I've already complained (about a year ago) about their dog (who barked all day when they were at work). But now I want to complain about THEM. AIBU?

OP posts:
Hassled · 02/05/2009 15:58

I take it you've tried the having a quiet friendly word approach?

Hassled · 02/05/2009 15:59

Sorry - assuming you have, YANBU.

MadamAnt · 02/05/2009 16:01

YANBU, but do be aware that you are legally obliged to declare any disputes with neighbours if you want to sell your house at some point. They sound very annoying. Is their dog still at it? That would drive me up the wall.

crokky · 02/05/2009 16:43

This is difficult!

My neighbours have just reported my family to the council (last week). TBH, we feel really hurt. They reported us because we got a climbing frame and swing for DS (3) and DD (1). They ganged up with the neighbours over the back fence and said that they didn't want to hear my 3yo playing in the garden and that they thought he would climb up and look into their windows. We are now the subject of an investigation and it is really upsetting. I think reporting your neighbours to the council would be counter productive. They will be upset and maybe angry as well. We are just upset, really - they reported us the day the stuff was delivered without even saying anything to us.

I would try and say could they try to keep the noise down a bit, and could you say your DCs are copying the swearing or something like that? If you report them, you still have to live next door to them and they could make life more miserable for you. At the moment, you just have noise, but they could start deliberately doing things to annoy you. eg they might start putting loud music on every time they see your car pull up. If it was me, I would probably do nothing about it. I suppose it depends on what sort of people they are and if it might create a long lasting situation of being on bad terms with them. Is it upsetting you that much or can you live with it?

sweetnitanitro · 02/05/2009 16:47

I think it's best to talk to them first, your local council will probably tell you to do the same before they will take any action. The swearing is not on at all, that would annoy me too.

GumsNRoses · 02/05/2009 16:58

MP do you live near me, I have the same problem with the people who back on to my garden, even down to the dog last year, which thankfuly has been kept under control this year.

It is annoying, and on warm days like today it's hard to have my doors open because all you can hear is the constant shouting.

Crokky thats terrible to object to a child playing in their own back garden, feel angry on your behalf.

ZZZen · 02/05/2009 17:01

when you spoke to them about the dog, did it have any effect? How did they react?

If swearing and shouting is their way of life, I wonder how that is going to be changed?

mrsmaidamess · 02/05/2009 17:03

I think a reasonable word at the front door would be the best you could do. Say the kids are copying the swearing.

catwalker · 02/05/2009 17:07

Morningpaper - difficult. If they think their behaviour is OK then they might make things worse on purpose if they find out it was you who reported them. But hopefully the Council wouldn't tell them it was you? If you do decide to speak to them do it when you're feeling calm - don't do what I have been known to do, which is wait until the red mist descends and then go round with all guns blazing.... That really is counter-productive.

Crokky - what????!!!!!!! Who the hell thinks you can't put a swing and climbing frame up for your young kids? What are these people hiding? Why would a three year old be interested anyway? How hurtful. I hope the Council staff laugh in their faces.

Nighbynight · 02/05/2009 17:57

I wouldnt complain about the noise, tbh, as long as it's restricted to daytime hours.
I might have a word with them about the swearing. Repeat word for word, a long list of things that you've heard them say, (they probably dont realise you can hear it all) and say your chidlren are copying it, and you find it a bit embarrassing (or similar namby-pamby middle class words).

that way, you might appeal to their better nature to tone it down a bit, without being too aggressive?

charmander · 02/05/2009 20:37

when our neighbours complained about us to the council there was no way of knowing from the letter who had made the complaint.

i did go round and speak to them (guessed it was them as we live in a semi) and appologise - the council had told them not to talk to us in case we got scary with them.

sleeplessinstretford · 02/05/2009 20:42

the thing about kids playing out in their own garden is this crokky-my parents are in their mid 60's,the woman next door to them has built this massive sort of treehouse thing right by their fence and any time we go now and the weather is nice enough for us to be out in the garden the neighbours kids are sat looking in-it's a bit disconcerting (the kids are 11,9 and 7) mum and dad don't like it at all.

crokky · 03/05/2009 08:18

sleepless - I do appreciate stuff like that - but my 3yo cannot even see over the plants that are by the fence when on it (the highest he can go is the height of the slide anyway). Nobody in my family has ever looked over that fence (which has a big trellis on anyway). The thing that got me was the day the stuff was delivered, they went straight to the council without even coming to see me (I am just an ordinary woman with a baby and toddler, I wouldn't have assaulted them or anything, in fact I wouldn't have even raised my voice!). They came to see me after complaining to the council and were talking to me in the street. After the conversation, one of their neighbours who had seen them talking to me came to see me (I had never previously even met this person) and said that I shouldn't let myself be bullied by them because 1.5yrs ago, the complainants had been so nasty to their opposite neighbours (man and pg woman) that the pg woman was crying in the street and they sold the house to get away from my neighbours! Also, we live on an estate of newish houses which are very close together - I think you cannot expect the privacy of a farm if you buy a house like that! My neighbour the other side has a climbing frame and her 5yo and 7yo can see directly into my lounge and garden. I have never minded about this and would never try to get her climbing frame taken away!

crokky · 03/05/2009 08:19

And just to add...if the council have to spend so much time dealing with this sort of stuff...it's no wonder council tax is so high!

SarahL2 · 03/05/2009 08:31

I think it's to be expected that families with kids will put toys for the children out in thier gardens - I know we have loads for DS (2)!

It's important though, the make sure the toys are in a suitable place in your garden.

The neighbours over the back from me have a massive trampoline which usually I wouldn't mind but it is rammed up against our shared fence!

When the weather is warm the kids and thier mates are on it constantly shouting and screaming and asking me what I'm doing as thier horrible faces peer over the top of the fence. If I don't answer them, I get called a bitch!! They're between about 9 and 11 i think.

I wouldn't mind the trampoline if it was located somewhere better but as it is, I hate it with a passion and would have complained to the council ages ago if I thought it would do any good.

crokky · 03/05/2009 08:42

Sarah - I think that sort of behaviour is really antisocial and I would not let my DCs behave like that and cause a nuisance to the neighbours.

If my 3yo did happen to glimpse a view of any of my neighbours from the slide, the worst he would say is "hello!"

jalopy · 03/05/2009 09:14

In our borough, only 'amplified' noise can be monitored by the council, eg. radio, tv, muscic systems, etc.

They do not record noise generated by arguments, shouting, swearing, slamming of doors, etc.

Helpful, isn't it.

SarahL2 · 04/05/2009 14:12

It has begun

Horrible neighbour kids and horrible neighbour kids friends have been on the trampoline for what feels like 2 days solid. Actually put my washing in the tumble dryer today rather than face the endless questions and abuse while I pegged it out!

Fancy swapping houses with my neighbours chokky? I'd love another neighbour with just a few toddler toys and the occasional "hello" over the fence.

I realy feel for you morningpaper I know exactly what you're going through

StayFrosty · 04/05/2009 14:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

serenity · 04/05/2009 14:26

Can you not make the shared fence higher Sarah? Or go around and speak to their parents? They might not know their DCs are being little gits.
I have every sympathy, I'd hate this. We live in a ground floor flat, and used to have problems with a certain group of kids banging on the windows (once whilst I was bfing DS1 on the sofa) It was horrible not feeling comfortable in my own home.

Heated · 04/05/2009 14:41

MP, you could do the typically English, half-apologetic approach and say you hate to ask, but could they ask their children to moderate/turn down the volume on the swear words.

Crokky, they sound like an ever-increasing number of ppl who believe the negative press & think children are the devil, forgetting what they got up to as kids when ppl were imo much more tolerant. Of course your dcs must enjoy their garden. Don't imagine for one second they'll get anywhere with the council. In fact, if they approach you again about having too many bbqs, giggling children, your windows being too shiny, suggest they complain to the council

Heated · 04/05/2009 14:46

Have to confess our neighbours added trellising the week after we got a trampoline although the trampoline is partially screened by our trees & the netting & the dcs can't jump that high. I think we should have contributed to the cost of their trellising, dh does not.

cheshirekitty · 04/05/2009 15:53

Crokky, there is nothing nicer than little kids playing on swings etc. Your neighbours sound like horrible old people.

Would they be happier if you let your kids play on the street and get run over?

Do not worry about the council. They will probably ptsl.

Original poster
morningpaper · 04/05/2009 17:51

well today I went into the garden and (I assume)their boys had broken into the shed and spray painted the children's play furniture with permanent car spray

I think it must have happened about 10 days ago but I hadn't noticed (it is around the side of the garden, backing onto their garden)

I went around to talk to the parents but the music was so oloud they didn't hear me banging on the door

Argh

OP posts:
SarahL2 · 04/05/2009 18:06

morningpaper, if they have damaged the kids toys then I would be onto the Police! That's criminal damage. You might not be able to prove it was them to be able to have them charged but it might be enough to get the Police over to have a word.

As for my situation - I've tried going round but the kids open the door and refuse to get the parents (and I'm only 5'1" so they're all taller than me and I find it very daunting) Sometimes, I'm sure the parents aren't actually in! As for putting trellising up - it's thier fence so I would have to ask them wouldn't I? I can't see them agreeing as it would block light into thier garden.

I put up wire when I was pregnant to try and keep their cats from using my garden as a toilet (I'm allergic to cats so have never had one and was worried about Toxoplasmosis) which the parents took straight down. Once, when the kids were shouting, they called me me "Scum" and a "Bitch" for "dissing" thier cat so I am very wary of trying anything else with the fence line...

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