To not have my sister as my bridesmaid?

[sb9]

As topic says.. More details please ask...

not if she's prettier than you

No, I won't ask.

Tell us if you want, don't if you don't want too.

I was gutted when my sister didn't have me as a bridesmaid. When I got married then both my sisters were my only bridesmaids.

It turned out that she didn't have any - but she still should have talked to me about it - I didn't know until the day if she was having any bridesmaids or anything at all. Not the most communicative, my sister.

So I would say YANBU, as long as you talk to her and explain your reasons and involve her in the wedding in some way.

Depends,are you having any other bridesmaids?

yabu unless you have a really good reason.
your sister might be hurt. will she be hurt?is your reason good enough to risk hurting her and maybe putting a barrier between you?

Why not just provide the details? How odd.

As we have no insight/details here I have absolutely no idea if you are or not.

Because such a long story! We fell out and it was the straw that broke the camels back for me and was so upset that i just dont feel i should have her when i want someone who i am closer to. I would like her daughters though. She just seems to say things to me to hurt me and is very deep thinking so takes every thing i do and say wrong..

No sister then no daughters I am sure.

Yep thats what she said!

personally i can't think of anything worse than being trussed up in sateen-just ask her daughters and don't make a fuss of it-if she's any sense she'd not want to be a bridesmaid anyway...
I can't see the point in having adult bridesmaids btw-maybe one to help on the day but great gangs of women swathed in expensive dresses and minging white shoes
shudder

Sad for your neice but don't be bullied in to having your sister.

Explain to your neice that you wanted her but it was not to be.

I hav alreayy approached it. I tried to tak about it but she hung up on me calling me a cow and then phoned my parents straight away screaming at them. My dad said she is now back in counselling because of me and doesnt know if he will come to the wedding if i dont have her....

sounds like there's a fuck of a lot going on here-are you going to provide the details or not?

As i say its no me being arkward it just very hard to condense!

I feel that my sister has been quite mean to me in the past and hurtful and so i didnt see why i should have her (examples, we fell out as i was supposed to be going to a famliy gathering but i was really ill so couldnt make it. She said i was not ill and being selfish for not going and would not speak to me until i called to appologise - there are lots more examples of these things)

Its so hard to explain as she can be really nice to me aswell but when she isnt she can be so hurtful and whenever i have tried to say how it hurts all i get is all about her...

Someone at the door, got to go, ill check back in soon...

sorry, but I dont get why your sister should be a bridesmaid? If she has daughters, then isnt it time to let them be bridesmaids?

when we were little, it was def for the younger generation.

I'm surprised at adults caring about being bridesmaids. I didn't have them with second wedding, but in first wedding the girls I was keen to invite were the young female cousins who were about 12 and were very keen to be bridesmaids. My sister was on, but I really don't think she'd have cared if she wasn't.

so, she is back in counselling and won;t come to the wedding if she does not get her own way , becasue of you ? i would let her stew, the longer everyone lets her get her own way via emotional blackmail, then she has no impetus to change. my sis was one of my bridesmaids, i was her matron of honour.. our brother is getting married now and our children are the pageboys/ bridesmaids and me and my sister are witnessess.

sounds like you are sick of her being viewed as more important and her feelings more worthwhile by your parents amd she can get away with hurting you and no-one cares

to me it would be odd to have her as a bridesmaid. she'd be matron of honour surely, anyway. she should be touched that you want her dds.

my SIL was abridesmaid at my wedding, as was my own sis. now sil's getting married, and my dds are her bridesmaids. it would be really odd for her to ask me-lol! (but as a sil, it is differnt, i can see that.)

agree, its something for the younger generation to do.

There is clearly huge issues in your family.

Make a decision - talk it through or walk away.

I can not be objective as I would give anything to have a family to argue with.

No disrespect but your family sound like nutters...run away

A friends sister recently got married. She did not have either of her sisters as bridesmaids, but did have a niece and nephew as flower girl/page boy.

This seems perfectly reasonable to me. Your sister is acting like a spoilt brat to say her DC can't take part if she doesn't. That is emotional blackmail and would make me lees inclined to have her. Your father is alos being unfair to you.

You can ask who you like to be a Bridesmaid. I would think it would be better to have your nieces. DD3 got marreid last month and she did ask my 2 other daughters to be bridesmaids and she also asked her two best freinds from UNI but none of them would have been offende if she didn't ask.

the first time I was planning my wedding I had my sister and 3 friends chosen as bridesmaids. That all fell through and the wedding never went ahead (thank GOD!)

when I did get married we did it with 8 weeks notice and I had so many choices for bridesmaids, including 3 nieces under 4, that I decided to have none at all. DH had no best man either. Sis didn't mind.