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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be a wee bit hurt that DD thinks I'm really not pretty.

47 replies

muggglewump · 01/05/2009 17:19

I'd have put this in chat, but I love this topic and I think it gets more views.

Anyway, DD and I were doing our monthly speech bubbles on the F1 magazine (we make the drivers we don't like say they smell/are rubbish and the like) and I had put a bubble round Kimi (Raikkonnen, he's like my dream man) saying he loved me.
DD said "as if, he'd never look at you".

Now of course she's 7, it's a whole joke thing, we do it every month but I feel a bit hurt.

I am being silly right?

OP posts:
sagacious · 01/05/2009 17:20

Yes you are being daft

But I LOVE the idea of speech bubbles (and will copy)

cocolepew · 01/05/2009 17:21

Yes you're being silly. She never said you're not pretty, just Kimi wouldn't want you. There's a difference

LauriefairycakeeatsCupid · 01/05/2009 17:21

oh yes, very silly.

she's 7, he's an international millionaire with a fondness for models.

Reality check babe

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 01/05/2009 17:22

You are, but I admit it would sting!

Kimi Raikkonnen though, seriously?

None of the current bunch are sexy, it's all gone to pot since Jean Alesi retired

ramonaquimby · 01/05/2009 17:23

I think that's a bit of a grown up thing to say (well older than 7 years ) .do most girls that age speak like that?

don't take it to heart.

Original poster
muggglewump · 01/05/2009 17:25

God I just read that back, and I really am.

But still why would he not in DD's eyes?

I went for an interview the other day so was dressed appropriately, nice make up, heels etc and she really wanted to see me wearing it. I went to pick her up from school and she said that my necklace was stupid and looked tangled (Long beads, I had them knotted), not a mention of the rest

I just thought she was a kid and just 7 so never to bother but should I be offended that she's rude about my appearance all the time?
And now I come to think of it she is always rude about the way I look, whether I'm in jamas or nice clothes, make up or no.

Surely she's a bit young to be embarrassed by me?

OP posts:
MaureenMLove · 01/05/2009 17:29

TBH, if she's doing it all the time, I'd have to have a word. Would she be happy if you said things like that to her, I wonder?

DD comments on my choice of tights yesterday. I simply said, 'well I'm not over keen on your choice of stripey socks, but I keep my opinions to myself!' She's 13 btw, so probably a little more understandable!

Original poster
muggglewump · 01/05/2009 17:31

Yes, Kimi Raikkonnen, I will never accept that he is anything less that the hottest guy on the planet

Really though, it's not so much that she said he wouldn't want me, I accepted that a long time ago (), it's the way she said it, as if she thinks I'm really ugly or something, or an embarrassment and that really stung.

OP posts:
ahundredtimes · 01/05/2009 17:33

Oooh but maybe it all comes from the speech bubbles? Because you're writing mean things and being mean about people, ooh here's whoever, he's an idiot let's write 'I smell'.

So it's become part of your dialogue with each other to be mean about people. Now she's being mean about you!

Perhaps you need to start writing speech bubbles that say, 'I'm very talented, and have worked hard to get to this position in F1.' It won't be as entertaining of course.

I'd have a word too. Bet it comes from the piss taking speech bubble writing though.

wolfnipplechips · 01/05/2009 17:34

In a way YANBU my 4yo dd told me the other day i have "oinky boobs like a pig" i laughed but it got to me. On the other hand your dd didn't really say anything to offensive and i'm not really sure if kids are aware of there own parents being attractive. I certainly wasn't until i was a teenager and all the boys used to come to my house to swoon at my mum.

Original poster
muggglewump · 01/05/2009 17:34

Sagacious
She is not doing too well with reading and this is just another thing I've come up with to help. Reading and writing together in a fun way.
She loves it and has no idea that it's teaching.

OP posts:
BigBellasBeerBelly · 01/05/2009 17:35

From what I have heard this is just what 7yo girls do. A couple of my friends DDs came out with stuff like this all the time.

My own DD is tiny, can't wait for her to grow up

She didn't say you weren't pretty though, just not world superstar millionairre dating material, which isn't really and insult, is it

Original poster
muggglewump · 01/05/2009 17:42

ahundredtimes, I've never thought that really.
Do you think that's it?
I'm not sure.

OP posts:
ahundredtimes · 01/05/2009 17:44

I don't know!

Could be. Or we could blame Simon Cowell!

Next month try writing nice things out of the mouths of all the drivers you like. It'll be an experiment.

Original poster
muggglewump · 01/05/2009 17:59

Oh we always write nice things from the drivers we like, just the other ones, they smell and eat cat food pies and similar.

Really though isn't that what 7yr old's find funny rather than being horribly insulting? That's what I was going for as it really is another way to help her reading, not a way to randomly insult people.

She just is very down on me and the way I look and I'm not sure where it's coming from.
I probably am being daft but as I said, it does sting a wee bit.

OP posts:
ConnieComplaint · 01/05/2009 18:06

My dd (7 too!) said I looked like Nanny McPhee....

I wouldn't care, but she always tell my sister she looks beautiful...and myself & my sister have been mistaken for twins!!

The fact that she criticises you a lot though, I would nip that in the bud, you're her mum and she should show you some respect. It's much nicer to say nothing than something negative.

Maybe she got defensive for her dad though? And that was her way of saying she wouldn't want you with Kimi?

I know a van driver stopped to let me in the end of a road last week & I put my hand up to acknowledge his kindness. He winked at me & I laughed... my dd went mental! Started saying that the man didn't wink at me, he just had something in his eye!!!! (not that I really give a shit what was going on, I couldn't believe she cared as much!)

Original poster
muggglewump · 01/05/2009 18:14

Her Dad left when she was 6 weeks old, she's never had a Dad, it's always been just the two of us.

She knows me and Kimi is a joke too, she may be 7 but she's not daft, she knows it would never really happen.
Just as her and Dr Who never would (she often tells me she will marry Dr Who if she doesn't marry Fraser who is her current bf!)

OP posts:
Sassybeast · 01/05/2009 18:15

For whoever asked - no - not all 7 year old girls say this sort of stuff

ConnieComplaint · 01/05/2009 18:18

I'll take me size 3 out of me mouth now... sorry.

Fraser sounds like a lucky dude

My dd's 'boyfriend' broke his arm recently...so she stayed in at breaktime to 'keep him company' Dh nearly laughed his leg off when we told him she had a crush!

ramonaquimby · 01/05/2009 18:23

I asked - I have a 7 year old and would be shocked if she said something like this, just doesn't seem age appropriate at all

campion · 01/05/2009 18:45

Just being the two of you might make you treat her as more grown up than a 7 year old can manage.She probably sees you as exclusively 'hers' so would be a bit jealous ( unconsciously, of course) of anyone giving you some attention / compliments. Hence the reaction.

But hurtful comments - even from a 7 year old to her mum - shouldn't be ignored if they are affecting you

Nekabu · 01/05/2009 19:13

Hurtful unkind comments are exactly that: hurtful and unkind. If she is old enough to make them then she is old enough to have it pointed out that she ought not to say things that hurt the feelings of others. Everyone has foot-in-mouth sometimes but we all have to start learning to try not to do it at some stage.

Original poster
muggglewump · 01/05/2009 19:26

Ah tis OK Connie, I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, just telling you of the situation.

Fraser is lucky, DD is a catch, well I think so, she's mine!
Apparently I'm not invited to the wedding though, they are getting married at Wemyss Bay (I took DD on a Sun Caravan Holiday there 3 years ago) and I did try not to snigger when she told me
She's keeping her surname, Fraser can change his name if he wants them to have the same so she says.

Actually that brings me to Campion's post.
I think sometimes she is older than her years as it is just the two of us, but I am feeling a bit hurt.
I'm up for fun and calling each other smelly and stinky and the like, but she really seems to mean this, like I'm not pretty and wearing awful clothes and she's embarrassed about me.

I don't expect her to think I'm gorgeous, I don't want her to be dilusional (sp) but she just keeps being horrid about the way I look.

It's OK to say something even if she is just 7 right?
And how do I word it?

OP posts:
Original poster
muggglewump · 01/05/2009 19:30

And does it make me really wet for being upset by a 7yr old?
I fear it does

OP posts:
staylucky · 01/05/2009 20:56

This makes me really scared!
I think I would be upset by that. My little gal is 5 and very much still delusional.

Girls can be very competitive though can't they. I think I agree with ahundredtimes writing negative things (no matter how silly) about other people can only translate to your approval of that kind of bitchy, malicious, gossipy behaviour. She's going to try it out on you.

I had a ridiculously competitive relationship with my mother and looking back now I must have hurt her feelings ten times a day growing up. She does still love me though!

You should tell her that she upsets you muggglewump, say it out loud when she hurts your feelings, bring a bit of kindness back in xxx

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