AIBU to want to light a fire this warm evening - to scorch the bum feathers of the pigeon coo-ing on my chimney pot and which just SHAT down onto my tastefully arranged pile of logs in the hearth???

[Flibbertyjibbet]

Go on I can take it from all you rspb types .

Its been cooing up there since lunchtime and I thought it would have buggered off to find a perch to sleep on for the night by now.

My pile of logs now has a smelly pigeon poo splattered on them

I am reaching for the matches as I type....

Could have been worse - it might have been pigeon come on your face! Check out the other thread...

Good idea

You need a fire anyway to get rid of that pile of poo

I have a bird trying to nest in my chimney too, haven't had any poo yet but its bloody lovely singing is vvvv loud down the chimney

((Plum reaches flibberty her fancy candle lighter much quicker than matches, and runs from thread))

Er I don't think I'll check out that other thread ta very much! Sounds verrrrry dodgy!

Sorry - link is here www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/746592-Did-a-pigeon-come-in-my-face First time I've done that.

posted a link that this, not had a pigeon come in my face!

And I still didn't do it right!

Bollocks

please please light your fire I am the OP on the other thread and looking for revenge

I will light the fire for you tomorrow afternoon when I start hearing the coo-ing down the chimney.

I'll put some COAL on cos that burns much hotter, and some damp newspaper to smoke them out.

The pigeons are rebelling! All these excretions are clearly part of some larger plan.

Its like a porno version of a Hitchcock classic on MN tonight.
Pigeons excteting all over random mumsnetters - WTF is going on out there in birdland !

Light the fire and scare it off now! Pigeon actually fell down our chimney and couldn't fly out so it was stuck on a sort of ledge where we couldn't see it but it was really loud. My mum put on rubber gloves and tried to poke around and scare it up the chimney but it fell out and flew round the living room flapping soot everywhere. I kid you not - it was the scariest moment of my life. Mum tried to catch it and push it out the window and ended up pulling off its tail. It was bloody horrendous. Light that fire and get rid before it gets stuck!!!

Do you live next door to Jack Duckworth kerrymumbles?

I'm ready for that shitty little feathered bastard tomorrow. Coal, firelighters and some damp newspapers should teach those fekker pekkers a lesson.

Its gone now toddlerama, they sit on the chimney pots during the day and then must go somewhere with a ledge under cover for night.

My neighbours all have gas fires, I must remember to thank dp for opening up our fireplace

YABU. You should shoot the buggers.

We put covers on the chimney pots pretty sharpish after the Night of the Pigeon's Tail.

Dp is sooo proud of our biggest on the street chimney pots - he wandered around salvage yards for literally years to find them.. I suspect he considers a bit of pigeon poo a small price to pay for the best chimney pots...

I could send you next door's cat - yet again this morning, we got up to carnage in the back garden. This included a pigeon's wing with bloody bone and tendon hanging out, left artistically in the middle of the path for the DDs to find as we left to go to school....

Mrsmerryhenry - you just KNOW that if I looked up the chimney to take aim up its arse it would poo in my eye!!!!

ooo seriously now - we have velux windows in the roof a few feet down from the chimney pots.

Suggestions please for what I can spray/chuck at the buggers to get them off my pots and stay off?

thanks hedgewitch, I can see it now some time tomorrow looking at me from my TOTALLY open huge fireplace.

At least it will land in its own shit though yes?