To be a tiny bit annoyed?

[Claire2009]

That Gran gave her 2 son's 350k each for 'Christmas' & I got £5 ?

or should I be grateful?

Not at all! Am not short of money

Would she think that the other members of the family need the money more than your close family?

But, are you going to call her next week????

To be fair, I didn't speak to my grandmother at all. I think I last had a proper 1-2-1 conversation with her in about 1994 / 5.. (she died in 2007). So, I don't think I'd be on the moral highground to tell her what to do with any money she had.

But, I think now that you know, you should ask her why... (well, I would!!)

Nope, won't ask why at all!
I'd feel very awkward asking why & just couldn't do it tbh. her money her choice, no matter if I do feel a little about it!

"Not at all! Am not short of money "

Are her sons and other grandchildren short of money?

yanbu

it's not about the money. It's about the fact that you are being treated differently than your cousins.

Unless you are really hard up, and has been in close contact with your gran, you have no real reason to be

As you grow older, and gather your fortune, it is of course yours to do with as you see fit. It is not always fair down to the penny, but if you are ok, and dont need any money, why even give it a second thought? YOUR GRAN, the OWNER of the money has made a judgement call, and decided this is a fair distribution, from her perspective.

Sometimes you have to treat family differently, to even out, and to ensure the overall picture is fair.

QS, No there not.

uncle 1 owns 3 properties, 2 businesses & has new cars & boats etc

uncle 2 more or less the same tbh.

OFGS it really isn't your business

Nan died - her sons got £80,000 each
A niece got £5000
I got £2000
her other 2 grandchildren £0 though obviously they had the benefit of their fathers £80,000

HER money to do with as she felt best. Which was for all their faults they were her sons.

Gosh, I would... I wouldn't be able to not mention it.

I mean, if it were even similar orders of magnitude, then fine... but such a large amount... £350K as a gift is a pretty life changing amount of money!!!!

It's especially hard if she's expecting the relationship to continue as it were... Unless she doesn't know you know IYSWIM.

I appreciate it's her money, yada yada yada, but if I found out my mother had given everything to my sister and nothing to me, then it would colour my judgement of her.

How did you find out?

Ok, so it is not that then.

Just accept it and move on.

But, Muffinbaker - this isn't quite the same thing:

Firstly, the OP's gran isn't dead... this is a living gift AND she doesn't appear to have an appreciably different relationship with the OP than her other grandchildren.

Honestly, though, it reaffirms my belief that you should never get caught up in family politics.

I have no idea what my grandmother left anyone - save she left me nothing. I don't blame her and I'm not surprised... She didn't like me from when I was a small child (too like my father) and, as I grew up, I didn't much like her either (still like my father )

But, regardless of what anyone says, if you were still supposed to be nice and kind and cordial to this person... Well, I think I would find that tough - to not let it bother me.

Such is life. My grandmother gave out her money, if you like about 2 years before she died. I understood that all the grandchildren got £350 each (It was 20 odd years ago, I bought my first cd player with it!). Has come to my attention that my cousin who was younger than me and who was no closer to her than we were got thousands. It's not fair, I'm all for treating everyone equally but it's the way it goes. My uncle has just given another unmarried cousin a big plot of land that she's building a massive house on. DH and I live in a shoebox that is bankrupting us. Hey ho. Nowt you can do but suck it up.

Maybe the money for the uncles came from something to do with her 2nd marriage which would have presumably been to their father?

But its her money, she can do what she wants with it.

Am very curious though as to how you got hold of the breakdown of the gifts, have you been doing a telephone poll of your relatives

Think its fairly typical of that generation to give more to sons that daughters although the £20 to the third son is what seems the most unfair!

My father split his estate equally but gave sons twice as much as the girls...! I think it was an old fashioned sort of decision...

If your father was a child from a first marriage, is her thinking that the money came from the second husband and therefore should go to his sons?

Can you actually just go ahead and 'give' away £700,000? I mean legally and without being taxed or whatever. What if she ever needs to pay care home fees? I thought you were limited as to what you could give away to a child each year.

you can give away whatever you like, if you die within 7 years there are inheritance tax implications.

I think it probably happens a lot tbh, it's not worth getting worked up over unless you equate money with affection/respect and are short of either money or affection.

My uncle who is childless came into a large sum of money and gifted half of it between my 3 cousins (they are siblings) and gave nothing to my DB or me. DB and I couldn't care less, we don't need money, we weren't expecting him to give us anything. We wouldn't have cared if he had blown all the money on fast cars and leggy blondes so why should we care that he gave it to our cousins. If he runs out of money in the future and needs a loan or something we will obviously direct him to our cousins though.

She isn't short of money at all to pay care home fees if they are ever needed.

Everything had always been split equally, then at Xmas that

Don't think it was to do with different Father, he'd brought my Dad up from 4mths old & apart from this always treated them the same..

What does you dad say about it?

What has your Dad said about his windfall?

He's shocked, understandably so. But has said nothing to her.

Hang on, hang on.. your nan gave two of her sons 350k each for - Christmas???
(Knew there was a reason we stick to book tokens in this family).

And then the other one (your dad?) gets £20???

That's a tiny bit random. To say the least.

What does your dad think about it?

x-posts!

Why has he said nothing?

Is he not just the tiniest bit curious?

Is she 'all there?'

Would the rather large discrepancy between her sons not occur to her?

Can she count?

This is all most bizarre.