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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that some parents really need to stop taking their children's football so seriouslyy?

34 replies

wannaBe · 25/04/2009 12:56

My ds plays football on a thursday evening. It's all a bit of fun really, the kids learn the necessary skills, they're divided into teams to play matches to practice goal scoring/defending/whatever else it is that footballers do. They are all aged between five/seven years.

I've never considered it anything more than just fun for the kids. there's plenty of time for them to get serious about it after all once they get older.

However some of the parents have started to complain. Have said that the session should be divided so the "good" players play together and the "bad" players don't hold them back.

Ibu to think they really need to chill?

These are 5/6 yo's fgs.

OP posts:
compo · 25/04/2009 12:57

yanbu

justaboutspringtime · 25/04/2009 12:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Mumcentreplus · 25/04/2009 13:05

bunch of nutters!..YANBU

shonaspurtle · 25/04/2009 13:05

Have you seen the Ray Winstone Respect video for the FA?

Not the same issue, but another reminder to some parents to get a grip. My dad forwarded it to me - brought back some grim memories for him of coaching primary school football with the hindrance of one particular arse of a father.

Fairynufff · 25/04/2009 13:06

This should be a mantra for all football per se IMO but you may find it better at a different club. My DS plays rugby and some of the snobby clubs have the attitude of "bringing him along and we'll see if he's any good" whereas the club he goes to (very working class, quite rough, ex-mining village) gives all kids a go and they really strive to look after kids and bring them on. They all get a game, regardless of ability and actually do quite well in the leagues.

francagoestohollywood · 25/04/2009 13:13

YANBU. Ds (nearly 7) would love to go to football lessons, but here in Milan they are very OTT, and I honestly don't want to have to deal such things. It should be just for fun.

francagoestohollywood · 25/04/2009 13:14

with

Saint2shoes · 25/04/2009 13:14

yanbu

Original poster
wannaBe · 25/04/2009 13:16

apparently in Holland parents are banned from their kids' football training/matches to prevent the trouble they cause.

OP posts:
francagoestohollywood · 25/04/2009 13:22

Really? Another reason to move to Holland (I have a soft spot for AMsterdam)

SalemWitch · 25/04/2009 13:22

YANBU.

My BIL would be one of the ones wanting the "good" kids to play together. It's all taken very seriously in their home - his 8 year old DS's life revolves around football. It is all taken very seriously and is all about winning. Where's the fun?

Flowertop · 25/04/2009 13:23

I know it's awful and the thing I hate most is when you hear parents complaining about other kid's ability e.g. god xxx is rubbish he should not even be in the team. Half the time they are talking about DS1 who although loves his footie is not the best player. It makes me feel really to think people can be so mean. Also it is mainly the mothers who behave like this shouting and screaming at the kids. I hate it! YANBU!!!!

stoppinattwo · 25/04/2009 13:30

I think it is sad that they cant even enjoy the fact that no matter on the ability of any of the kids they are all outside running around a pitch, keeping fit and ahving fun.....dont get me started on the politics of kids footie ...it is parenting at its worst, I pulled one of our parents up one sunday because when his lad was substituted to give someone else a turn on the pitch when he went to stand by his dad, the dad turned to him and said " dont stand by me, i feel ashamed of you, you played like a fecking girl!!!"

i said to him, "you know when your sitting in your old peoples home on your own wondering why nobody wants to come and see you, or when your son decides footie is no more FUN and doesnt want to play any more...look back and think about this day, you should be ashamed of yourself!!" What an absolute twunt!!!!!

SalemWitch · 25/04/2009 13:35

Hey stoppin - I wonder if that was my BIL? It's the kind of thing he would say.

sarah293 · 25/04/2009 13:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

TheFallenMadonna · 25/04/2009 13:40

DS has stopped going to his after school club because of the comments made by a few of the other children. Which is I suppose inevitable, but I was waiting to pick him up one time and heard two dads saying pretty much the same thing.

I'm actually not averse to encouraging children who are good at various sports to achieve their best. But it depends on the situation I think. DS never did the saturday league thing because he was just rubbish, but he did love running around like a mad thing after school. Now he doesn't, and that's rather sad. He is 7.

stoppinattwo · 25/04/2009 16:35

sorry riven/ salem...bit ignorant of me to post and disappear .....what did he say in reply....nothing tbh i think i had embarrassed him when he realised that someone had heard him saying it..

he is a notorious shouter though and is forever agueing with the ref, other parents...his son is only 10 having to listen to that really puts him of his game

jeminthecity · 25/04/2009 16:40

I hate it, especially when they are little. It just gets worse unfortunately.

I agree, YANBU, i just don't get the whole competitive thing, but lots of people DO get it. As long as they have fun I don't give a shite, but the pressure I've seen at really young ages- I think it's gross.

KimiAteTooManyEasterEggs · 25/04/2009 16:52

YANBU, these type of parents are so sad, they have no life apart from their kids.
I always feel so soory for the kids

stoppinattwo · 25/04/2009 16:56

I dont think the footie scouts help much either by coming and watching the lo's play...the parents suddenly get a bit giddy telling thier kids to play better to impress them...imo scouts shouldnt be allowed to approach kids till they are much older

singersgirl · 25/04/2009 17:01

DS1 loves playing football, but he's not that good, and is constantly being rubbished by the top players in his year. It's a really miserable situation, but he's desperate to get their praise, so won't just go and do something else. There's far too much focus on being good too early on, rather than just having fun and 'sport for all'.

lunamoon2 · 25/04/2009 17:10

YANBU
Well said stoppin too!

alicet · 25/04/2009 17:21

YANBU I'm not looking forward to this with my 2 boys. Let them have fun when they are little ffs!!!

Well said stoppin. WOuldn't have had the nerve but would have wished I did if i heard something like that and if I had heard you with that come back I think I would have cheered!

mamas12 · 25/04/2009 20:05

We had this a lot but, we, I mean a few parents including two women, one is me, became qualified under 10 FAW coaches. It didn't take that long and I didn't really need to know a lot about football rules etc. It was the best thing we ever did because if you get involved at committee and coaching level you can set your own agenda.
We set up the club rules, inclusiveness and fun being paramount. Also had a zero tolerance for bad behaviour which we had the coaches the parents and the children sign so everyone was aware of what was expected.
There was an element of win win ness (sp) which I don't think you can avoid, tbh but it's the way it's tolerated or not that's key.
Five years on and we have created a glorious monster of a town football club where new parents have taken over when their lo start our little five olds as was are now regularly competing in finals of the local leagues.
Our core values have stayed (hurray) But there's no way you can avoid the 'competative dickhead' attitude appearing from time to time.

Sorry this is a ramble innit.

TheCrackFox · 25/04/2009 20:19

YANBU

I live near a big park where there is a lot of junior football played. I have been shocked to the core with some of the antics of the parents.

DS1 (7yrs) hates football but DS2 (4) looks like he will be into it. TBH I am dreading it.

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