to be upset that my midwife brought up my PND from 2 years ago while I was at work and with patient of my own.

[nevergoogledragonbutter]

I work for the NHS and was making a community visit to a patient at home.
Coincidentally my old midwife was also there visiting another family member.

We acknowledged each other and I made polite comments re: times flies, DS2 is now 2 etc.

In front of my patient and hers, she says, "and how are you feeling, last time i saw you you were in floods of tears".

I was a bit taken aback and said, "er yes, i probably was, i'm fine thanks".

Now, when i left I was feeling really upset to have a difficult time for me brought up in the workplace and in front of patients.

And i'm not sure what to do about it.

WWYD?
AIBU to be upset by this?

That's really awful! YANBU, how horrible for you - to undermine you in front of a client. I'd tell her to sod off if I were you - it's really inappropriate!

Not to mention a complete breach of patient confidentiality.

Very unprofessional of her indeed, and not what you want in front of a client.

I'd have a word with her

It was unprofessional and out of order. Your time with her was (should be) confidential.
If it upset you then make a formal complaint to her manager. She has breeched confindentiality which is a real no no.

I'm worried because it's still a problem for me now and don't want to make a mountain out of a molehill just because i'm sensitive about it, especially in the workplace, as i like to keep it seperate.

Very very unprofessional!
for you.
Yep, if you feel up to it, I do think a word with her would be appropriate.

would you confront directly? letter or phone?

i am meeting with my supervisor tomorrow and can discuss it with her then.

I would be fuming. How dare she?

that's totally out of line! I would complain about this, how awkward must you have felt. for you.

I am rubbish at confrontation, so feel v free to discount anything that follows :

Speaking with your supervisor sounds like a good idea, particularly if your supervisor is already aware of your past history/current problems.

Personally, I would speak to the midwife in question and not put anything in writing, unless you want to make a formal complaint. Maybe you could say to her when you next bump into her (is that likely to happen?) something like: "Your remark the other day upset me and breached confidentiality. I need you to assure me that my medical history stays private." Then see how she reacts. She may have realised she said something inappropriate and be mortified herself - says I, as a sufferer of Foot-in-Mouth-Disease...

I would discuss it with your supervisor and see what she makes of it. I bet she'll be flipping mad too.

i mentioned it to my boss after the incident and she said it was out of order.
but it was her last day at work and she's gone now.
i expect my supervisor will be very supportive.
i don't want to let her get away with it, but find the topic difficult to discuss without getting teary.

do you think i could ask my supervisor to speak to her rather than me to avoid it becoming too emotional?

You shouldn't have to. If you are upset, tell your supervisor and your supervisor can either take it up with the mw or with her boss. Chances are, your MW will have not realised she was breaching your trust and just made an off the cuff remark. If you or someone else points it out, she'll probably be mortified and apologise. But you should say something because if she can do this to you, she can do it to someone else who is more fragile.

i am pretty fragile tbh.

Then definitely address it. You had an illness and that is not something to be bandied around. Imagine instead of 'PND' you'd had say 'syphillis' and she asked the same thing?

I'm sure you are very competent and don't need some nitwit pointing out you had an illness several years ago.

She was bloody insensitive if nothing else.

I'm sorry you had such a shitty day today but tomorrow is a whole new chance to have a better day

it wasn't today.
it was last friday!
have been so busy since then that i've had to put it to the back of my mind. (have driven to scotland and back), have had more important things to think about.

but i don't think it should go unaddressed.

I would send her a letter, just outlining that you are upset about the fact that she a) breeched confidentiality
b) jeprodised your proffesionalism by bringing up details of your medical history

Tell her you were upset by what happened. Maybe you could put that you trust it was just carelessness on her part but thast you would like it never to happen again.

When i first read what she said i thought maybe it was a massive foot in mouth moment but the more i think about it i'm not sure. Its incredibly insensitive. I also work for the NHS and am very aware of the priveledged info i get.

I had a melt down once when my HV popped around, we had never met but i sat crying for about an hour whilst she was very lovely. We see each other occasionaly now and always asks how i am in that knowing sort of a way but would never bring it up. She even phoned me a couple of times in a friendly way. I would be if she did something like this. I know how vulnerable it can makes you feel when someone knows personal things about you without them throwing it back in your face and at work on top of it all.

thanks for the support here.
makes me feel more confident about bringing it up.
will also be a good chance to talk about how i'm doing in that respect with my supervisor.
variable.

oh db, was going to come here and rant about confiedentiality, and then I looked at the OP's name....

I really think you should say something, paticularly in our neck of the woods it's v unprofessional. You're not likely to come into contact with her in the near future again (at least with all that's going on I wouldn't imagine so ( but I could be wrong!!)

I would contact her supervisor (or get your supervisor too if it's just too much!) as this is something that should be discussed with her and for her to learn from her (very definite) error, rather than her just brush it under the carpet.

if not for you, do it for me.... it could be me in the same situation a couple of months!

thanks doris.
actually i need a favour from you.
i have 9 packs of nappies from lidl.
any chance i could drop them off with you to take to toddlers on tuesday.
i need to get rid of them all.

but i don't know where you actually live.

Hi - poor you that's really awful. I think you should raise it formally either with your supervisor or hers. I totally sympathise with your situatuion - I have some issues at work at the moment and find it hard to discuss things without breaking down - I have cried in front of so many people at work this year - you are not alone. Good luck

I would go down the formal complaint route if I were you.. Write down what happened and send it to her manager..