To not invite DP's mother to DS2's Christening

[TheLadyEvenstar]

he thinks we should but ds2 is 18m now and she has never set eyes on him other than photos i have sent her. She has never even called to see how he is getting on etc.

She fell out with dp because he and his ex of 22yrs split up and has seen him since he and I have been together just once when he was in hospital.

The other day his sister messaged me on msn and said Mum and I were wondering what time the christening was and am i still god mother...

she had stopped talking to us a year ago...i did not reply i signed off. But dp thinks we should invite them and have her as god mother. I on the other hand say we shouldn't they have not been interested in us or the dc up until now.

I must explain that dps sister was away for many years after she fell out with the mother who couldn't accept the fact she was a lesbian.

I found her through friends reunited as DP really missed her but even though we all met up when i was pg with ds2 and continued to until ds2 was about 8m old then dp got made redundant and she stopped coming round. We put it down to the fact we could no longer afford to be the bank of london for her.

Anyway would you invite these people to the christening? Personally i don't want to...

It's a few years ago, but I think she probably was, mainly because they lived some distance apart. I never enquired that much into the sleeping arrangements feeling it was none of my business. The fact that I was in another relationship probably affected this though as women who aren't in a new relationship seem to get more upset when their ex gets a girlfriend and starts sleeping with them whilst the children are there than those who are. If he thinks his ex will mind though he may be better casually mentioning her in conversation as the children will talk to their mum about her and I don't think parents should encourage their kids to lie to the other parent.
On mumsnet their is a huge range of opinion between people like me who think that once you are separated your personal life is none of your ex's business and you have to trust your ex to be sensible when introducing the kids to people and only kick up a fuss if you think the kids are being abused or neglected, to those who are more controlling and think their ex should let them meet and vet any new partner in their lives and that you shouldn't sleep with a new partner with the kids in the house for a period of x months after they have met the new partner in case it "damages" them in some vague way.
It sometimes makes me wonder why the women married the men in the first place if they think they are so awful and thoughtless towards their children.

I'll start a new thread so I can stop hijacking this one