To find it really odd how families workout their money, desperate to keep it to themseleves

[BodyBagEgg]

i find it very odd familes all keeping their money seperate and to themselves.

your either in it together or not imo.

Whatever works for a couple IMO. YABU to get annoyed by other people's choices IMO.

No apparent bruises as such, just a few grazes. I wiped the worst one with an antiseptic wipe...poor child was in agony! Reminded me of how my father used to pour iodine (yes, you heard me right the first time) on our wounds. I have now become that cruel-to-be-kind sort of mum.

surgical spirits for us - it was so sharp I used to nearly wet my knickers! School nurse used to use it as well...

Yikes! I thought that was only used to clean paintbrushes! Or am I confusing my chemicals...?!

surgical spirit - for wounds
Methylated spirit - for paintbrushes
don't mix them up!

thank goodness I didn't try that one on poor DS's lip!

Got to get to bed now, we have a kids' party tomorrow!

May you dream of Green & Black's!

have a lovely party - G&B for adults only, I assume? Although we did get a small G&B milk choc Easter egg for DS
I always dream of G&B when I have good dreams...
Night!

I keep my money to myself, so does P. If I need some, he'll help me out and the other way round, however, we then pay each other back. It's the way I prefer it because it means I have security if anything goes wrong, which it could do at any time with my P TBH.
I do admire families who share everything though, it must be really nice to have that trust.

Dh and I have seperate accounts - didn't realise that meant our marriage was an oath breaking sham!

We do money differently that's all, so seperate accounts work for us. If he needed my last penny he could have it and vice versa.

We have separate accounts, infact I have 4 inc our joint acc. Hubby earns 3 x what I earn and has no idea what is going on in his account! I know to the penny.

I didn't work for 6 years until the youngest went to scholl, so I went to college then did a small amount of commision based work from home, with no real money in it. We have never factored my earnings into what we can afford, iyswim? So my money pays the stuff I need to work, car, cm etc and he pays all the boring stuff, mortgage, bills, food etc. I then allocate a certain amount each month either to pay off a credit card, or to save etc. Whatever we both have left at the end is not the other persons business and is spent on what ever we choose.

If it were a blended family then I would expect all children to be treated equally, ie, if I had just spent the child benefit on food items for dinner I would not expect dsc to not eat. I would however expect dp to also claim child benefit for their child, not just use the stuff I claimed.

i'm not married
do i still have to share everything whether it suits us or not?

I think this thread is quite worrying, how will some of you prove you contributed to the household and therefore deserve half the assets if it comes to divorce ?
Some people are putting themselves in a vunerable position letting him pay the mortgage and buying treats, petrol etc with your money.

Dp and I have seperate accounts, his wages get paid into his but he transfers all of them over to my account leaving himself enough for petrol and odds and ends.
Just really because all the dd's come out my account and I do all the food shopping, if either of us need money from each other's accounts we just take it.
DP's pretty laid back about money and im a hoarder.
I think when you have kids, you really just need to pool together, we don't have much money anyway so there's no secret stashes etc although it would be nice

Sorrento - if we only used a joint account then it would come to divorce! Dh has a spreadsheet, I have a rough tally in my head!

The joint account isn't the only solution but say the mortgage is paid from his account, she needs to show that she is contributing the same % of her wages by transferring that amount by direct debit each month.
I've seen cases where she pays all the food shopping, the children's clothes, his and her clothes out of her salary and then he buys all the pension, shares and pays the mortgage and basically the judge turned around to the wife and said you buying the weekly shop counts for nothing, he secured the families future and gave him all the assets.

If that works for other people then why are you bothered?

It works for me and DH.

Is that to me ?
It's not a case of being bothered it's a case of it's easier to prevent these things than help somebody after the event, if neither is required then all well and good but we know 1 in 3 will end in divorce.

tis very simple in our house

2 rules

I firmly believe thats whats yours is mine and whats mine is my own!!!

and if DP wants his plastic back he will have to find somewhere to lodge ...

Sorry Sorrento, no it was to the OP.

I' sure some people think me and DH have seperate accounts. We also have a joint account where we both put money into that and the bills are paid from that.

But I don't really know how much DH has left over at the end of the month (more than me) and he doesn't know what I have. Its not a secret, if he asked me I'd tell him. Its just never come up in conversation. As far as I'm concered what I have leftover is my money, but if he needed it for any reason I'd be more than happy to give it to DH.

We have our money, his money, my money and the kid's money .

Mortgage, bills, kid's savings, our savings, petrol and food come out of joint account.

DH keeps back around a quarter of his salary and 'controls' how it is spent. Sometimes he spends it on boozy football nights out for the lads or expensive Japanese trainers , but often he spends it on taking me out or just adds it into our savings account.

I have a small amount of money coming to me from an investment (SAHM) and that is mine, all mine! I spend it on clothes or nights out, and save a small amount each month.

We also don't really discuss our 'separate' money but it
isn't a secret, like what you said, Stripey. If money is ever tight (which some months it is, because DH is self employed and is flush one month and has to be cautious the next) we will both use 'our' money to pay for essentials in a flash, no questions asked, so it all evens out in the end.

I would hate to have NO money that was mine.

It wouldn't do for me, it does seem to me to be an odd way for a marriage (be it legal marriage or any other form of permanant coupledom ) to work. That's why I don't do it. I favour the One Pot method.

I do wonder if posessions are the same. My TV, his sofa, my hifi, his laptop, my kettle, his toaster...

TBH, it seems far too complicated for me!!

While I admit to wondering about these things if they ever come up in conversation, I don't actually give a flying fig how anyone else runs their finances or homes. nor do I assume they love each other any less.