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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to still want another baby????

49 replies

Cazzaben · 15/04/2009 00:41

After my DS2 was born I was told that if I was to fall pregnant again the chances are that DC or me wouldn't survive...Although they will not sterilize me as im so young?!?!?!

I'm so unhappy that this decision has been taken away from me...

I sat in the gyne clinic today (for a check up that my coil is ok) and the waiting room is full of pregnant women...
I felt sooo rubbish being only 26 and not being able to have more babies...

Is it just me or AIBU???

OP posts:
thumbwitch · 15/04/2009 00:42

YANBU but that's because it's a hormone thing. Your hormones are being unreasonable.

LaurenIsMoreThanReadyToPop61 · 15/04/2009 00:50

yanbu i see why you feel so upset i think any woman would buuut otoh you have two beautiful children which is more than some people ever have, glass half full and all that

Original poster
Cazzaben · 15/04/2009 00:57

Yeah your soo right I know im very lucky thats why I feel like IABU...

I love my boys and im soo happy with my husband. I guess I just felt like that was it today IYKWIM??? Im so lucky to have my boys I know that...

I think im just upset that the decision isn't mine...

OP posts:
LaurenIsMoreThanReadyToPop61 · 15/04/2009 01:01

it is a bit of a bitch but could be worse chick, i dont blame you for feeling crappy about it though but like i said think of your lovely boys and husband then your the luckiest mum in the world

Tortington · 15/04/2009 01:05

yabu - babies are horrible

Original poster
Cazzaben · 15/04/2009 01:07

ok custardo...

Constructive and enlightening...

your views and thoughts are much appreciated

OP posts:
Tortington · 15/04/2009 01:08

i apologise if my off the cuff lighthearted comment offended you in any way

Original poster
Cazzaben · 15/04/2009 01:10

I think its just the way you phrased it...
Don't apologise though if they are your opinions thats fine... Just wasn't really what I wanted to hear

They do grow up to be beautiful though... Well mine have anyway

OP posts:
LaurenIsMoreThanReadyToPop61 · 15/04/2009 01:13

cnt actually believe i just read that... im all for opinions but a bit of sensitivity jeeeesus

Tortington · 15/04/2009 01:17

fuck off lauren

Original poster
Cazzaben · 15/04/2009 01:18

Its ok dont worry lauren... I just take it with a pinch of salt...
Like you said my boys are beautiful!!!
jealousy springs to mind...

OP posts:
LaurenIsMoreThanReadyToPop61 · 15/04/2009 01:22

LOL

Tortington · 15/04/2009 01:22

cazza i apologised and i meant it

are you implying that i have looked at your profile ( i haven't) and decided i jealous becuase your kids are more beautiful than mine?

thats a pretty rubbish thing to imply, if so.

To be clear, i take no truck in people who see an apology as a chance to rub salt into a wound that - quite frankly could have stopped with good grace on both sides at that point.

i fear now its too late despite my having the best of intentions.

ChippingIn · 15/04/2009 01:23

Cazzaben - it's all well and good to know you are lucky to have your boys, but it doesn't mean you can't feel sad or cheated out of having more babies - or even just having the choice.

I would speak to another Dr too about the sterilisation, I am sure you could get it done if the risk to your health is as bad as the other Dr has said. Get another opinion on both things!!

LaurenIsMoreThanReadyToPop61 · 15/04/2009 01:27

she didnt imply anything and your comment was unecessary and insensitive..

best of intentions.. okay!

Tortington · 15/04/2009 01:28

with the apology Lauren...do keep up. But then i do wonder why cazza was pondering jealousy?

Tortington · 15/04/2009 01:29

and i apologised for the comment.

LaurenIsMoreThanReadyToPop61 · 15/04/2009 01:33

because thats how your 'off the cuff, lighthearted' comment came across...

imo this isnt the thread for saying things like that. but then some people cant take others opinions can they... ie.. fuck off lauren, lol

go write your own thread for 'off the cuff' comments, this ones about cazza. not you.

Original poster
Cazzaben · 15/04/2009 01:34

Calm down there custardo there's a good girl...

I simply implied that because you dislike babies soo much you felt the need to post on my thread a rather flippant comment based on your opinions...

So my comment to you was yes either you must be jealous that for one I have children (i have no idea if you do or you dont) and you cant or you cant have any children...

So either way you have set yourself up for a fall really... You make uncalled for remarks and expect people to agree?? Or would you prefer them to disagree...
Like I said just relax custardo... Be aware of others opinions... Theres a dear...

OP posts:
Original poster
Cazzaben · 15/04/2009 01:36

dont

OP posts:
Tortington · 15/04/2009 01:38

Lauren

"...cause thats how your 'off the cuff, lighthearted' comment came across... "

i apologised - you continued this debacle

"imo this isnt the thread for saying things like that."

i apologised - you continued this debacle

but then some people cant take others opinions can they... ie.. fuck off lauren, lol

this thread isn't about You lauren, hence my comment

"go write your own thread for 'off the cuff' comments, this ones about cazza. not you."

i apologised - you continued this debacle

JodieO · 15/04/2009 01:38

How bloody patronising! I can't stand all the "there's a dear" and "there's a love" bullshit along with the passive agressive face. I don't "know" Custy but I've read lots of her posts and I believe she was trying to help you. I can bet 100% she isn't jealous of you either, she does have her own child/ren (can't remember how many sorry).

It's amazing how a perception of someone can make you imagine all sorts of things about them, keep in it perspective and try to see where someone is trying to actually help you.

Original poster
Cazzaben · 15/04/2009 01:41

Thank you chippingin... I have thought about getting a second opinion. I think now that you mention it I will ask... My consultant did say that he would refer me to another for a second opinion if I requested it.

x

OP posts:
Original poster
Cazzaben · 15/04/2009 01:45

How can the comment

'YABU babies are horrible'

possibly help me??

It was a very frivolous remark and completely out of order...
I simply read a few of Custardos posts and spoke to her the way she speaks to people...

I had no perception of her until she made that remark... So i thank you kindly for your input JodieO but I do have my own personal opinions on things and don't really need to be told when someone is trying to help me...

OP posts:
kitkatqueen · 15/04/2009 01:47

cazzaben, yanbu. its a choice every woman should be able to make for herself when she is good and ready to make it. whether its doctors or a dp / dh saying no more. It hurts, and its not fair and you have every reason to be pissed off. You are not being unreasonable at all, but you need to find some closure in your own mind at some point IMO. The suggestion to go and speak to the consultant/whomever about the situation is a good one and might help you a lot. I hope you are feeling happier soon.