to think that my friends friend is being a bit crap in the parent dept....

[Dawnus]

Friends friend has a son who is 2 in August.

They put him to bed on a full bottle of milk so he sleeps, change his bum and give him another full bottle when they go to bed

They have started complaining that he's waking lots in the night....but he doesn't seem to have proper meals. Example: when my friend was there one evening, his dinner was a mashed banana, petit filous and some apple crisps. So my first instinct is that he's prob hungry. He had his first sandwich 4 weeks ago.

The main reason for this thread is my friend is worried. She tried to give advice when he was tiny and was shot-down...now she's feeling slightly awkward around them and is itching to say something that may help...but will more likely offend...always tricky!!

Or is it simply that we're being bitchy, and should shut-up???? lol

Does the little boy's mum ever say that he has delayed speech though?

Perhaps your friend could say something along the lines of "My friend's little girl/boy has just been referred to a speech and language specialist. He/She didn't eat lumpy food either like X. Apparently not eating lumpy food can be a symptom that the muscles in the mouth and jaw are weak which is why they have difficulties with both eating, drinking and speaking. Do you think it might be worth asking to get X referred to one aswell?"

Xs mum prob wouldn't know as has no comparison to make her wonder about it.
Tbh i don't know if friend should say anything...i was looking for ideas how she could subtly give advice, but general consensus is that she should leave well alone.
But will prob suggest she pass on a childrens cookbook (thanks junkcollector) as these usually have advice on nutrition/ eating habits and eating stages in the foreword.

Dawnus I would have said leave well alone aswell until you said his speech is also poor. Poor speech at almost 2 and poor feeding at almost 2 wouldn't have me worrying on their own but together it does have some bells ringing as I know these can be connected to one thing. Now I think your friends needs to subtly suggest (perhaps in the way I put) she ask the GP for a referral. It could be something of nothing but it's best to get it checked out. The quicker these things get picked up the better.

Ds3never had lumpy jars he vomited every time he did. From some digging I found it was because he didn't mouth toys so his gag reflex was slow moving back. I kept him on purees and then went straight onto proper food. Aged 4 he eats everything and anything.

interesting mrst - DS never really mouthed either, and was very pukey - but never had problems with lumpy jars (but is a very fussy eater)

oh I was watching him hawk like so was slightly obsessed about his lack of mouthing (sensory stuff eek?? etc etc). Apparently it is quite common for babies who don't mouth to gag really easily though.

I think it also depends if your friend has faith in the mother of this boy as a parent. Is she just being judgey or does she think she might not be clued up enough to realise something might be wrong? See, I might parent really differently to a lot of my friends, but that does not mean I worry about their children just because their diet when I am around seems different to my childrens diet. Some children like my ds3 like to pick on things and constantly eat little bits throughout the day rather than having meals. My child might only have toast or biscuits when the rest of us eat dinner, but he likes to have his hot meal around noon.....