Angry with in-laws and dh over Easter and just need to rant!

[helsbels4]

Firstly, I don't think I've ever posted in AIBU so please be a little gentle with me if you think I'm being a twunk.

DH and I have a ds (9) and a dd(4) so a young family. We've done the usual Easter egg hunt this year, family have bought eggs etc round for the dc's but absolutely nothing from dh's father and his wife and dh's step-sister (they've been brought up to think of each other as sister and brother.)

This in itself wouldn't usually bother me too much cos they're a strange bunch but......
a. Said sister has four dc's who have all grown up now and we have bought for all four for bloody years!

b. It's dh's dad's grandchildren for Heaven's sake!

What has annoyed me even more (I'm fuming, trust me) is that both dh's sister and father have rung over the weekend - his sister to ask for some photos and his dad to inform us that dh's neice (my Goddaughter) is getting married in Turkey next year - oh but you lot aren't invited as it's close family only and neither of them mentioned anything along the lines of, "Sorry we haven't bothered with your children this year but it's just that all the other grandchildren who we favour, are big now and we couldn't be arsed to think of yours".

I'm even more angry that dh didn't say a bloody word to them!!!! He said he would talk to them when he'd thought of what to say! Yeah right, my arse he will!

Tbh, this goes back years with dh seemingly unable to say anything vaguely confrontational to his family and it is driving me insane.

Does he not feel any anger on behalf of his children?

So "gentle" opinions please. AIBU or not?

Hey that's a good point about not having to buy a present

I've told dh that this is the final straw with his dad's side of the family and from now on if he wants to keep in touch with them then that's up to him but I'm backing off and they can get on with it and although he's not overly impressed with that, he understands how I feel.

It feels really refreshing!

I also told dh that his dad better not turn up with some cheap, plastic tat to "make it up" to our dc's because I'll tell him just what I think of them all and dh said that maybe that would be a good thing and I should!

He's always discouraged me from speaking out up until now.

They are not my family or my friends, so I no longer have to make an effort to be nice to them

If you are her godmother then isn't telling you about the wedding just politeness? Would you rather no-one told you? Perhaps your FIL thought you'd be pleased at the news and want to congratulate them. The wedding is just a small part of a marriage after all. If my nephews when they're older choose to have a small wedding without me I would still expect to be told of the wedding (admitedly by my brother or the nephew concerned, not my father) rather than no-one dare mention the wedding to me because I might have a strop that I'm not invited.
When I got married I sent letters telling my relatives about the wedding even though they weren't invited. I thought it was polite and hoped they'd be pleased for me.
The whole lot of you sound quite self centred.

jeez 2rebecca, get off your bloody high horse there!
I get the strong impression from your posts that you are defending YOUR position on YOUR wedding when you stand up for OP's relations here. Leave it be - you made your choice, they are making their choice and the OP can choose what she does about it.

I think the grandad should have bought Easter eggs if he has bought his other grandkids them when they were small. After all they are very cheap now and you can get them from every supermarket. So no YANBU.

As for the wedding, perhaps they are having a small wedding and paying for it themselves. I know that you are the auntie but sometimes people have limited budgets.
The other thing is perhaps they do not want children at the wedding so didn't want to upset you by inviting only you and your oh.

If you feel strongly about it then if it gets mentioned, just smile, but don't ask for the present list!!!! and don't buy them anything.

2rebecca, I'm not actually sure if you've read my posts because you have missed the point totally - again!!!

It's not the fact we haven't been invited to a wedding - the crux of the problem is that dh's father and his step-mum have favourite grandchildren (not just our view by the way but also the rest of the family openly "joke" about it) it's that dh's dad completly over looked our children at Easter (and most of the rest of the year tbh) but managed to ring to tell us of a wedding that isn't until next year, (and made a point of telling us we weren't invited to,) of one of the favoured grandchildren! They got engaged at Christmas but dh and his proper sister were never told of this

I also find it very strange that his dad rang us when my dh spoke to the bride-to-be's mother the day before!

I understand budgets and personal thoughts on weddings and this has absolutely nothing to do with any of that. So please get your facts right before you call me self- centred. I am the least self-centred person I know, even if I do say so myself

Thank-you for your support thumbwitch and luna, It's tempting to not ask about a wedding list but dh's neice is really lovely and I wouldn't want to be mean to her!

It really isn't about not being invited but is all about finally having enough of dh's dad's side of the family forgetting they have eight grandchildren/neices/ nephews etc and not just the four favourites.