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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really pissed off with DP because ...

35 replies

JaquelinehydeAllTheEggs · 13/04/2009 15:13

His bloody friend has taken to walking down the private road at the back of our home and letting himself in through the back garden gate!

I'm fuming he has now been sat in our garden with DP for half an hour and this is the 4th day in a row he has done it.

Yesterday I wasn't feeling too well and stayed in my PJ's all day. So when he turned up I had to go to my bedroom and stay there until he left.

I'm soooooo

OP posts:
barbie1 · 13/04/2009 15:16

get a lock!!!

Original poster
JaquelinehydeAllTheEggs · 13/04/2009 15:18

I have got a padlock but it's such a fuss because we use the back gate all the time.

I may just put it on anyway.

I have huge french doors from the sitting room to the garden, what if I was naked, or having sex (very doubtful) and he just walked straight in.

OP posts:
nametaken · 13/04/2009 15:21

sounds like he's lonely over the easter holiday. Where's his family?

Original poster
JaquelinehydeAllTheEggs · 13/04/2009 15:36

He lives with his girlfriend, 13 month old baby and mother-in-law.

His Mum sisters and brothers live 5mins away and he has several friends near by.

Definately not lonely. Just an inconsiderate arse!

OP posts:
Pheebe · 13/04/2009 15:40

Hang on a minute, you're getting cross because your DP has a friend round, who stays in the garden chatting

Why on earth did you feel you had to stay in your bedroom? Did you want to go in the garden when you didn't feel well? Did he even realise you were in?

I think you're totally over reacting. If you don't like it say something to your DP. Perhaps he'll start going down the pub with his mates instead then you can have the whole house to yourself!

sparkplug · 13/04/2009 15:43

It's a holiday weekend.

Lots of mums have other mums round for coffee mornings. Do their husbands complain?

They may feel they have a raw deal by having to go out to work everyday, but I don't think they begrudge friendships.

nametaken · 13/04/2009 15:43

I wouldn't be annoyed with my DP but I would fucking well be livid with the arse who comes round at Easter instead of cooking up a lovely dinner and organising an easter egg hunt for his own family. What a wanker. - Are they drinking too?

Definately not your DPs fault but I would put that padlock on the gate soon coz there's gonna be another bank holiday in a couple of weeks

AbleSister · 13/04/2009 15:44

oh god stop whingeing

MuffinBaker · 13/04/2009 15:45

Why did you have to go into your bedroom?

It is your house you can do what you like or you could have got dressed and carried on as normal.

Would you piss you off if it was one of your friends?

AbleSister · 13/04/2009 15:46

get dressed you lazy mare.

nametaken · 13/04/2009 15:46

well if you can't have a little whinge on MN where can you?

MuffinBaker · 13/04/2009 15:46

" wouldn't be annoyed with my DP but I would fucking well be livid with the arse who comes round at Easter instead of cooking up a lovely dinner and organising an easter egg hunt for his own family. What a wanker. - Are they drinking too?"

nametaken are you being serious??

AbleSister · 13/04/2009 15:47

He is probably there saying" god lazy mare has been in pjs all day and done nothing thank god you came when i texted"

nametaken · 13/04/2009 15:48

yeah, where was your dp on Easter Sunday?

Original poster
JaquelinehydeAllTheEggs · 13/04/2009 15:48

No today he stayed in the garden because it's a nice day. The past few days he has been in the house and stayed for hours. So yesterday I had no choice but to got to the bedroom!

I honestly wouldn't care a jot if the friend rang first to check it was OK. But coming everyday and letting yourself onto someone elses property and knocking on the french doors with a bog grin on your face.

Surely you don't think that's right do you Pheebe, if you don't mind it then I will send them all round your if you don't mind.

Can DP bring the 3 DC's, oh and his friends DS as well.

OP posts:
compo · 13/04/2009 15:49

why don't you and dp go out then he can't keep popping round every day?

nametaken · 13/04/2009 15:50

Yes I'm serious - you don't go and spend time with your mates on Easter Sunday and Xmas Day - you spend them with your family.

Don't you? - I know I do. I wouldn't dream of leaving my dh and kids in the house at Easter and going round my mates house. WTF?>

MuffinBaker · 13/04/2009 15:51

Don't your friends visit and stay for hours sometimes?

YABU

Original poster
JaquelinehydeAllTheEggs · 13/04/2009 15:53

I was really ill yesterday [bleeding out of my bottom and being sick (not out of my bottom) if you must know] and decided that I would stay in my PJ's watching TV.

It was 5pm when friend turned up and he didn't leave until gone 7pm.

Oh and trust me this isn't just a bank hoiday thing it's 5-6 times a week but just this weekend he has started letting himself into the garden instead of coming round the front.

OP posts:
Original poster
JaquelinehydeAllTheEggs · 13/04/2009 15:55

Muffin - no they don't, we go out for lunch or activity etc

Compo - so I should never be able to relax in my own home

OP posts:
nametaken · 13/04/2009 15:55

But the OP and her dh shouldn't have to go out to avoid unwanted visitors. They are entitled to stay in if they want.

Pheebe · 13/04/2009 15:57

I would mind but then I wouldn't come whinging on mn about it. I'd have a word with DP and his mate directly and make it very clear its not acceptable to come round the back unless you're already in the garden.

PlumpChocEggyBaps · 13/04/2009 16:04

Well, I personally would hate it if visitors came through the back gate, uninvited and unannounced. There's a front door, I assume, he should use it.

I also don't happen to like people 'dropping round' too much either. A quick phone call first is courteous and allows one to stop having sex/being naked/being in pjs/relaxing in their own home and gives them time to get ready for a visit.

So no, OP, YANBU- if your DP is aware that it bothers you.

And YANBU to be peed off with the friend, anyway.

Original poster
JaquelinehydeAllTheEggs · 13/04/2009 16:07

Oh Pheebe get a grip every single MNer comes on and has a whinge every now and again and with this being my first ever whinge about DP on here in 4 years I think that's a damn good record.

I have told DP that it is not acceptable and he agrees but has done nothing about it yet. It is not my place to tell his friend what is or isn't acceptable.

FWIW - We live in very nice 2 bed flat that is fairly large but not huge. It's one where the kitchen is part of the sitting room. Our garden is huge. However, we have 3 children so space is really, really tight. I had no choice but to take my puking half dressed self to the bedroom.

As mentioned earlier he comes round all the time but uses the front door and sometimes even rings first this is not so much of a problem, but letting yourself on to someone elses property univited on Good Friday, Saturday, Easter Sunday and Bank Holiday Monday is surely enough for me to be pissed off about.

OP posts:
CreativeZen · 13/04/2009 16:08

Put a sign up on the back gate or french windows saying "Piss off wanker. You aren't welcome. He's just pretending to be pleased to see you."

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