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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you are not in a positon to complain about there being no work if.....

31 replies

SalBySea · 09/04/2009 17:38

....you havent applied for a single one!

argh its doing my head in! someone I know keeps complaining about how she cant get another job (after redundancy) but she HASNT APPLIED FOR ANYTHING! she's not even looking, just whinging about how there's no work for her!

I know that unemployment is up and all but have friends applying left right and centre who I will happily have my ear bent by, I just have absolutely no patience for this girl! (and cant seem to keep it to myself either - reply with "well of course you cant get work without APPLYING for any")

OP posts:
Original poster
SalBySea · 09/04/2009 17:39

p.s. she whinges about the "not being able to find work" thing about 10 times more than my friends who are ACTUALLY LOOKING for work

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HecAteTheEasterBunny · 09/04/2009 17:40

Perhaps she's looking in the paper / online and not seeing anything she is able or qualified to do?

Or maybe she's one of these who expects someone to come knocking at her door, with a big bunch of flowers, get down on one knee and beg her to come and work for them.

Idranktheeasterspirits · 09/04/2009 17:40

How do you know what she has/hasn't done?
What field is she in?

BouncingTurtle · 09/04/2009 17:42

IKWYM... DH's aunt was made redundant at Christmas, I've recently started working from home, self employed, told DH's aunt all about it. She thought the training for the job sounded too much... yes it was for me because I had to arrange it around a toddler! She is widowed, no kids, it would have been a cake walk for her! But nooooo....

StarlightMcEggzie · 09/04/2009 17:44

My brother is the same. I tell him to look for some, but he says there is no point because there isn't any.

It is because of the recession apparently, but before the recession, it was because of the Poles.

IheartEASTEREGGS · 09/04/2009 17:48

i cant find any work and sometimes moan about it and i hardly apply for anything either
no point in applying for something that wouldnt be possible to actually do is it???
theres nothing near me at the moment that i'm qualified to do/pays enough for childcare full stop.

Original poster
SalBySea · 09/04/2009 17:49

I have asked if she's looked in the paper / online etc. she said "no there's no point, everyone know's theres no work in this climate"

She has lots of different qualifications. Her last job was as a solicitor. I am aware that times are hard in that field, but not only has she not looked in that field, but she will not lower herself to considering looking for anything less than her last job on her last salary (but somehow has no problems lowering herself to scrounging off her parents )

similarly, an ex banker I know who has not applied for anything cause there are no jobs in that field - FFS of course there arent but how is signing on less of a step down than applying for some shop/factory/hospital work to tide you over?

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Original poster
SalBySea · 09/04/2009 17:51

Ihearteastereggs I have not only applied for, but got jobs that I was not qualified for - employers seem to admire that sometimes, you can phone them up and ask if they are willing to take on someone who is willing to do the qualifications in-service.

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Original poster
SalBySea · 09/04/2009 17:53

OOOH not only that, but she wont consider working in even the next town over! basically she wants her old job or nothing and thinks everyone should feel sorry for her! I wish she'd shut the hell up! are my responses to her not hint enough that I HAVE NO SYMPATHY FOR HER!!!

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Original poster
SalBySea · 09/04/2009 17:58

I know there arent many fancy jobs out there, but my local Post Office, Hospital AND council are all hiring

that's not no jobs, that's just no jobs that you dont think are beneath you

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BrownSuga · 09/04/2009 18:02

Well if I were in her position, and in a couple of months I may well be, I'd take anything I could get.

Idranktheeasterspirits · 09/04/2009 18:05

I think you are being quite harsh actually. Being made redundant is shit.
Although it's the job that is redundant it can often feel like a personal failure and that can completely diminish any confidence you have.
Also, at the moment there are over 2 million unemployed, for every job i go for there are another 20 applicants at least. Companies are being extremely specific about who they even interview, let alone employ.

I am fairly senior in my industry and know lots of people etc. I am completely over qualified for 90% of the jobs i am going for because unfortunately my level is the one that is being culled to save companies money. I am having loads of difficulty getting people to interview me as i am viewed as too expensive/too qualified etc etc. Even though i have specified on my cv and covering letters that i am happy to accept a much lower salary and package.

Your friend is well qualified as a solicitor but that counts against you in this climate. The local PO are unlikely to employ someone who will take the job just for a short term income until something more suitable comes along.

If you can't be a decent friend to this woman then avoid her. YABU.

TheArmadillo · 09/04/2009 18:06

hell it makes stuff easier for dp and others who are applying for anything they can get if there are less candidates.

I wouldn't be able to put up with the moaning though.

PeachyWithTheBirthdayBas · 09/04/2009 18:06

Hmmm.

Dh is moaning about there being now work and he hasn't even left his job yet but he has seen what's out there and it's not much: literally nothing in one local paper one week, 7 pages at one stage before all this.

So there is unusually a real dearth of work to even apply for

But some people do ahve that attitude regardless of what is put under their noses- they have the idea of what they want and cn't see further which is ok in a feast but we have a famine so you have to travel / work odd dhours (accepting childcare can be hard to manage for some with that- if you have no childcare after 7 and the job ends at 8 then there's eff all you can do)or whatever

Our PO is tiny, council making people redundant and hospital website scarily empty: been looking at council fro myself so certain of what's (not) available there- it is a thing that varies

PeachyWithTheBirthdayBas · 09/04/2009 18:08

There's a difference between not qualified for as sal is using it- eg Dh doesn't have a CPC but does the job well- and not quaklified for as in cannot do- eg techer / nurse/ simlpy something you can't do (I'd send any accountancy form that employed me bankrupt)

wb · 09/04/2009 18:11

Starlight, snap. My brother is exactly the same. His job has been taken by so many people and circumstances beyond his control (immigrants are a fav which is quite ironic as our parents are both immigrants). That's the job he never had cause he sits playing on the computer every day and smoking dope

Simplysally · 09/04/2009 18:13

You have to want to help yourself but she's probably had a shock if she's been made redundant.

I can say almost certainly that if she applied to work where I do, she wouldn't be shortlisted for a job on the floor unless she made it clear that she wanted a 'menial' job as the assumption, rightly or wrongly, would be that it would be a stop-gap role for her until she found a niche in her preferred occupation. The time taken to train her for a few weeks until she got bored fed up would be better spent on another candidate more likely to stay. She may need to re-write her CV very carefully.

PeachyWithTheBirthdayBas · 09/04/2009 18:14

Oh another reason gfor not taking a step down until you need to- it can count against you soemtimews; Dh ran a fleet n ears past but took a step down just to ensure employment.... he's not eligible to apply for that level job now though as its based on current job ()

Original poster
SalBySea · 09/04/2009 18:15

"I think you are being quite harsh actually. Being made redundant is shit.
Although it's the job that is redundant it can often feel like a personal failure and that can completely diminish any confidence you have.
Also, at the moment there are over 2 million unemployed, for every job i go for there are another 20 applicants at least. Companies are being extremely specific about who they even interview, let alone employ"

She was made redundant before christmas - i think her window for pity has closed

Companies cant interview you if you havent even applied!

She's not even looked to see for herself what's out there!

My DH is job hunting and is looking at a 2hr commute radius. She doesnt want anything more than 15 mins from her home (like I said, wont entertain suggestions of the next town over)

Plenty of people out there are genuinely in the sh"t at the moment and I get earfulls from this woman about her sad situation every time I see her! She's doing nothing about it so I just dont care! She's not even trying!

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PeachyWithTheBirthdayBas · 09/04/2009 18:21

'i think her window for pity has closed'

but not her window for depression which this sort of self defeating behaviour could suggest

Idranktheeasterspirits · 09/04/2009 18:27

Well if you don't care then why are you starting such a nasty thread about it?

She may have good reasons for the radius she is considering at the moment. Lack of transport/lack of money at the moment etc etc.

Like i said, you have no idea what she has/hasn't done to find work. You don't really have any idea of what her true situation is. If she is depressed for example she may well be saying there is nothing about so that she doesn't have to admit that she is depressed.

We are in the shit as you put it, both partner and i have been made redundant in the last month but we still have to be realistic about what is feasible and what isn't.

Original poster
SalBySea · 09/04/2009 18:29

I dont think so, I actually think she is enjoying her situation (rent free at her parents house, out all the time, more time for hobbies and socialising) and think she is really milking the credit crunch to her own advantage

  • you should hear how her family talk about "poor her" - there's just no jobs for her because of the credit crunch. What do they expect? yes its HARDER to find jobs now but its not the credit crunches fault that employers arent head hunting HER and walking up to her in the street offering her work! She has not even looked!

I dont think she's depressed. I think she's taking the piss and milking it.

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Original poster
SalBySea · 09/04/2009 18:33

idranktheeasterspirits CAUSE SHE BLOODY BENDS MY EAR ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME!!

I cant avoid her any more than I already do, she lives next door to my best mate and is always round there.

is it really unreasonable to say, erm, sorry but dont whinge to me about there being no jobs till you've actually tried actively job hunting? is that really unreasonable?

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Sorrento · 09/04/2009 18:34

Hmmm my DH has applied for jobs half his orginal salary just to keep his hand in and nobody will even interview him.
I have considered roles I would have taken 15 years ago just to get me out of the house but a 25 year old manager won't take me on because they know I can do her job standing on my head and might make her look bad (that was actual feedback).
If she's just whinning then give her a wide bearth but if you want to help her tell her she needs to be back in work within 6 months otherwise she'll be out of work a bloody long time, when I was in recruitment we didn't look at anyone who'd not worked for 6 months as (rightly or wrongly) we assumed there must be a reason for that.

Original poster
SalBySea · 09/04/2009 18:38

Sorrento, that I have plenty of patience for, I know pleanty of people finding job hunting tough at the moment and gladly lend them my ear over a cuppa.

At least they're trying, not saying there's no point in trying cause everyone knows that there's no jobs! There are SOME jobs, might be hard to get but the first step is looking for them!

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