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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that my neighbour shouldn't be lecturing me on child safety

30 replies

GinaFjord · 08/04/2009 19:15

A mini moan - but please feel free to tell me I am a rubbish mother if I am in fact being unreasonable.

We live in a very quiet cul de sac - no crime round here, v v friendly area etc etc.

Anyway, in the mornings when I take the dog for a walk I put DD in her pushchair then go back in the house for the dog. I am literally in the porch, with my back to the door but DD is at the bottom of our (loud crunchy gravel driveway).

Occasionally I might quickly go to the loo while DD is on the drive but that is right next to the porch, and like I say, the driveway is loud and if someone were to come down it I would hear someone).

Anyway - my neighbour came over today to warn me not to leave DD "all alone outside the house" as you don't know "who is about".

I know she's just being kind and thoughtful etc etc but DD is my PFB and I really try not to be one of those parents who sees danger and paedophiles on every corner and now I feel like peopel think I am utterly careless

OP posts:

Original poster

GinaFjord · 08/04/2009 19:16

(Front door is all glass btw)

OP posts:

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 08/04/2009 19:16

Don't worry, she is clearly a loon.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 08/04/2009 19:20

Good grief, it used to be the done thing to let babies sleep outdoors to get the air. (In the daytime/decent weather).

Indith · 08/04/2009 19:24

My 2 regularly sit in the pushchair outside the door while I run aorund trying to find my bag/remember to lock the back door/realise I've forgotten to close the bedroom window/need a pee etc.

smudgethepuppydog · 08/04/2009 19:29

Your neighbour is a tad overprotective. What you did is completely reasonable.

JackBauerKilledTheEasterBunny · 08/04/2009 20:19

What Indith said.
I can't get a double buggy through my door as the hosue is all weird angles so I had to set it up on teh street and then put one DD in, leave her on the street, and go and get the other.
Doesn't make me a bad parent, just bad at buying houses with stupidly sized doors

ChippingIn · 09/04/2009 14:14

LOL

Take the dog out first and then she can accuse you of leaving a dog out there that might attack some unsuspecting passer by...

Take your bag out and let her tell you it might get stolen...

Then one day invite her in to show you how to get everything/everyone out in one go

You are not doing anything wrong and don't let daft people make you think you are otherwise you are going to tie yourself in knots trying to bring up your DD the way 'everyone else' sees fit!!

NotPlayingAnyMore · 09/04/2009 15:10

"Anyway, in the mornings when I take the dog for a walk I put DD in her pushchair then go back in the house for the dog. I am literally in the porch, with my back to the door but DD is at the bottom of our (loud crunchy gravel driveway)."

I think this is fine, but this:

"Occasionally I might quickly go to the loo while DD is on the drive but that is right next to the porch, and like I say, the driveway is loud and if someone were to come down it I would hear someone)."

I'm not sure about. Can't you just go to the loo before putting DD outside?
If you heard someone coming up the drive while you were in the middle of your business, would you jump up immediately? Would you be quick enough even if you did?

Original poster

GinaFjord · 09/04/2009 19:06

It takes me about 30 seconds to have a quick pee and our driveway is pretty long so I'm ok with it, thanks NPAM but totally understand if that's outside your comfort zone as a parent.

OP posts:

StealthPolarBear · 09/04/2009 19:13

I'd do this, no problem (maybe not the wee bit as our bathroom is at the other end of the house) but I leave DS in the car if I need to nip in to have awee / grab my coat / anything like that that takes under a minute so I don't think there's a difference really.
Plus you have a nosey neighbour looking out for you

pointydog · 09/04/2009 19:14

do you wash your hands properly?

duchesse · 09/04/2009 19:15

Well, with her about I doubt anyone could take your DC. Just thank her sweetly for looking after the interests of your child. Curtain twitchers are a mixed blessing imo.

Original poster

GinaFjord · 09/04/2009 19:15

Er, yes

But I can see DD from the sink.

What a weird question.

OP posts:

pointydog · 09/04/2009 19:18

sorry, I was being silly. ABout the 30 seconds timing.

It all sounds fine to me. Can't picture why you leave your dd at the bottom of the drive rather than the top but I can't see it matters

StealthPolarBear · 09/04/2009 19:18

Surely the chance of someone coming up her drive coupled with the risk of that person being a child snatcher at exactly the point she is in mid wee (and nosey neighbour is looking at the other neighbours) are so minute as to be zero? More than likely there'd be a bit of awkwardness when she came out to find the postman asking DD where mummy was!

Original poster

GinaFjord · 09/04/2009 19:19

The bottom of the drive is next to the front door, the top of the drive is next to the road.

At least, that's what I mean by the bottom of the drive.

OP posts:

pointydog · 09/04/2009 19:20

oh I see! So your dd is right outside your door?

Smile and politely ignore your neighbour

Northernlurker · 09/04/2009 19:21

Your neighbour is over-reacting. You are pefectly sensible.

Original poster

GinaFjord · 09/04/2009 19:23

Yes. DD is outside my front door, at the end of the driveway away from the road. I am in the porch, about 10 inches away from her.

I suppose if I am in the toilet (with both doors open to all intents and purposes it looks like DD is alone, so I suppose I understand her concern.

But she is still only probably a foot away from me.

OP posts:

Bigpants1 · 09/04/2009 19:33

i think in todays climate,everyone is a little jumpy-especially where children are concerned. I dont think this woman was criticising you,but equally,if while you were getting the dog etc,shed seen a stranger passing by over a few days,and something had happened, youd wish she had said something. Remember a few years ago, the little girl that was taken out of the bath and abducted,while her mum was in the next room drying the baby.I live in a fairly quiet street, but, if I am in the bathroom upstairs, I wont leave the younger children in the garden, and I lock the door. I dont think im neurotic, just not wanting to take the chance.

Original poster

GinaFjord · 09/04/2009 19:41

True bigpants. I always lock the door if I leave DD alseep in the porch.

OP posts:

OrmIrian · 09/04/2009 19:42

No you are not careless at all. But she is being thoughtful (if irritating). Smile, nod and say thankyou and then put it out of your mind.

JamInMyWellies · 09/04/2009 19:50

Blimey I always leave the DS's outside in the pram. Then if we come back from a walk and DS2 is asleep I quite often leave him in the buggy either outside the front if I am in the lounge or in the garden if I'm in the kitchen.

Your neighbour is being a tad over cautious

tryingtobemarypoppins · 09/04/2009 20:06

Just out of interest where do you all stand on leaving LO's in the car? I hate it now the car seat is locked into the car and he falls asleep, I often lock him in and leave the front door open......

tryingtobemarypoppins · 09/04/2009 20:07

The front door of our house that is!

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