Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get a secret cleaner?

48 replies

JeanPoole · 08/04/2009 09:45

i am a sahm to one nearly 2 yo.

me and dh hate cleaning.

we can afford to get a cleaner.

i would feel a bit if i told friends and family.

so would it be a bit if we got one but just never mentioned it?
it not like we would lie, just wouldn't bring it up

OP posts:
EllieG · 08/04/2009 09:47

Do it! Time not cleaning is time with your LO. I hate cleaning too and the moment I can afford it will get one. And stuff what anyone else thinks, is none of their business anyway.

numptysmummy · 08/04/2009 09:48

I'd like to get one and not mention it to dh

oneyummymummy · 08/04/2009 09:49

I don't really think its anyone elses business what you do in your home! If you want a cleaner then get one, but is there any other reason apart from you don't like it, because I'm sure there are many of us who don't really enjoy cleaning!

Each to their own.....

MitchyInge · 08/04/2009 09:50

a secret cleaner is a great idea

I want a secret live-in housekeeper but she will be more difficult to hide?

Original poster
JeanPoole · 08/04/2009 09:50

well this am i haave cleaned both bathrooms and the downstairs loo, dd has watched 2 epidodes of intg! already.
now ive got washing to put on and gardening to do and then go to the shop make luunch then tidy then sort tea.
then theres the rest of the house to sort.

just seems a waste of time me cleaning dd watching tv.

OP posts:
purplemonkeydishwasher · 08/04/2009 09:52

yeah, i don't get those poeple who say theor kids don't watch TV yet they have a clean house? (actually what did people DO before TV??)

sarah293 · 08/04/2009 09:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

numptysmummy · 08/04/2009 09:54

Had less crap to keep clean

Rhubarb · 08/04/2009 09:55

What would you do whilst she was cleaning though?

purplemonkeydishwasher · 08/04/2009 09:56

yeah but they had to do all the laundry and stuff by hand. i guess they just wore stuff more than once and did it all once a week. still.

numptysmummy · 08/04/2009 10:00

If you haven't got it you can't wear it. And them that could afford big houses and stuff to go in them could afford staff. And most families had grannies/aunties etc very close by who looked after the children.

Original poster
JeanPoole · 08/04/2009 10:11

oh and i need to clean the oven too.

theres loads of things i'd rather do with dd to day,
just play with her, read with her.
make easter cards make easter cookies
gt the playdoh out.
play in the garden
go to the park [sigh]

i guess the reason i think keep it secret is, mum and dad aare aaways slating my sil because shes a sah to 3, and sometimers my db cooks tea after 'hes been at work aallday'and looks after the kids when she helps out with brownies etc.

OP posts:
numptysmummy · 08/04/2009 10:14

Can the oven really not wait until tpomorrow or when she's in bed?

Original poster
JeanPoole · 08/04/2009 10:17

well i have to look after dd in the eve too as dh also does extra work at night.
so i have her morning noon and night she goes to bed about 8ishand i feel bushed by then.
i did do some last night and didnt sit doen till 10pm.
im knackered

OP posts:
TrillianEAstraEgg · 08/04/2009 10:19

YANBU to get a cleaner if you want one and can afford one.

If you don't want to tell your family about it then don't.

When I saw the title I thought you meant secret from DH, which would be weird and wrong.

Original poster
JeanPoole · 08/04/2009 10:19

now ive just spent an hour clearing the bathrooms on turbo speed, i feel like i need a rest for 5-10 mins but f course dd wants me.

right sod it, for half an hour or so im going to make some sponge painting, easter chick cards with her.

OP posts:
MrsMattie · 08/04/2009 10:22

There was a thread recently where a poster was going to get a cleaner and keep it secret from her husband, which i thought was extremely odd.

Why be ashamed? And why pretend you can manage everything and be 'superwoman'. Nobody can really. We have a cleaner and I am bloody delighted with her and would recommend anyone who can afford it - whether working or at home - to get one. Cleaning is a chore.

Original poster
JeanPoole · 08/04/2009 10:57

right we have just done some easter chick sponge cards
dd is now playing happily on her rideon

in a while i will take her in the garden then down the shop on her trike.

i suppose i feel guilty, for getting someone else to do it wheni am a sahm with one child.

and i know how much my mum and dad slag my sil off because db cooks tea sometimes.
suppose i dont want to get slagged off, however i do realise they are barmy thinking its outrageous thaat db cooks tea sometimes
so really i don't know why i am bothere4d if they slag me off.

the are also obessed with no spending money, but throughout my childhood smoked like chimneys and drank like fishes.
so i don't know why i let them make me feel guilty about spending money, say if we have a family hoilday or something

i do get dd to help clean with some very light things but when it comes to clening bathrooms nd ovens she has to watch tv really.

OP posts:
dingledangle · 08/04/2009 11:13

Why does it need to be a secret?

Are you ashamed that you are not cleaning and deep down feel it should be you who is doing it? Or are you ashamed that another women is doing your cleaning?

My mother cleaned many peoples houses for years when I was a child growing up and was never ashamed of what she did. Some people used to look down on her and our family but she used to tell people that the world will always need people to clean for them!

Don't keep it a secret it is unreasonable both for you, your kids and the person cleaning your house!!!!

Why does it need to be a secret? If people have an opinion about it, it is their hang up, not yours.......

In answer to the question you are not being unreasonable to get a cleaner but I think it is a little unreasonable to keep it a secret!

Original poster
JeanPoole · 08/04/2009 11:15

suppose i feel like i will be slagged of for being lazy

OP posts:
warthog · 08/04/2009 11:19

sounds like your parents slag anyone off not because of what they're doing, but just because they want to! sorry to say this, but i suspect they're slagging you off to your brother about things you do anyway, that i'm sure are totally reasonable.

so on that basis, let alone all the other good reasons, i would definitely get a cleaner! i have one and i play with the kids while she is here and we do lots of fun things all week, rather than clean the bathroom while the electronic babysitter does it's work.

dingledangle · 08/04/2009 11:20

Do you think you are being lazy?

RumourOfAHurricane · 08/04/2009 11:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ChippingIn · 08/04/2009 11:30

Why do your secrets need cleaning??

Jean - you've said it all:

DH and I hate cleaning
We can afford a cleaner

It's a no brainer to get a cleaner.

Quite frankly with parents like yours (and ahem, your not the only one with parents like that!!), it's easier not to mention it, but if DD (or more likely a dense DH!!) mentions it, just be really casual 'Oh yeah, it's much more fun to have the time with DD than spend it cleaning the loo - would you like another cup of tea?'

Most of our parents are from a generation where the SAHM did everything and POOR POOR POOR DH if he has to breathe for himself when he is home, let alone do anything else.... it's farking annoying, but I suppose there will be things our children do in the future that is so alien to us we can't help but comment on it

Now for the hard part - FINDING a good cleaner!!

Rhubarb that is the only tricky part - I go out. I hate being here when she's cleaning as I feel guilty and end up doing other chores or helping her... so I go out!! But we have become good friends so I almost always see her before or after and at other times too. This, however, is not to be recommended as it does make things more difficult if things aren't done well (or how you'd like them to be done) and I'm the soft touch if she ever needs to reschedule.. but on the upside, she is good and I have another friend

seeker · 08/04/2009 11:34

I got a secret cleaner once to do a pre-Christmas blitz for me. Well, she was a secret - until she turned up in a bright yellow van with something like "We Do Cleaning For Lazy Slatterns Who Can't Organize Their Way Out Of Wet Paper Bags" or some such strap line painted across it in dayglo letters and marched up my pat carrying a hoover and a golf bag full of brooms and mops and things.