Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get a secret cleaner?

48 replies

JeanPoole · 08/04/2009 09:45

i am a sahm to one nearly 2 yo.

me and dh hate cleaning.

we can afford to get a cleaner.

i would feel a bit if i told friends and family.

so would it be a bit if we got one but just never mentioned it?
it not like we would lie, just wouldn't bring it up

OP posts:
amidaiwish · 08/04/2009 11:35

by all means get a cleaner and it's no one elses business so why mention it?

however you could also dramatically lower your standards!
do the bathrooms need doing every day? (mine get done once a week by a cleaner btw and they are fine)
the oven was cleaned just before christmas (by dh!)
the fridge could do with a bit of a clear out/clean - next on my list
at most i spend 30mins per day clearing up...

kid · 08/04/2009 11:41

I hate cleaning, I only do what needs to be done. I hate ironing so tend to iron as we need the clothes.

I did spend a couple of hours yesterday cleaning the oven, it was really bad! But my kids are both out so I don't need to look after/entertain them.

I wish I could get a cleaner, would feel weird someone else tidying up for me but I guess I could get used to it My kids have no problem letting me tidy up for them!

sarah293 · 08/04/2009 12:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

StealthPolarBear · 08/04/2009 12:35

do it! if you hate cleaning and can afford one then you are giving someone some work which is a good thing, definitely at the moment.
lol seeker! Do they do that then, come out as one offs? We can't afford a regular cleaner, but that is the sort of thing I would do.

Original poster
JeanPoole · 08/04/2009 12:43

riven im really pleased for you

my biggest problem is guilt.

i know they slag me off for things, like when dd was born i had to have arepair op, i was supposed to take it weasy for 6 weeks

mum was telling me i should be doing =more around the house

it wasn't even dirty or messy

dh was having to do stuff like cook the tea when he got in but so what.

i know its madness i know they are odd ad weird, but i guess they have drummed the guilt into me of a, being lazy
b, wasting money

i really don't know why i care what they think.

OP posts:
sarah293 · 08/04/2009 12:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

StealthPolarBear · 08/04/2009 13:05

tell them as well as bog off that you are doing your bit for the economy, to get us out of recession
And I agree - it's your money. I think assuming their family aren't going without, people should be free to spend their money on whatever they like! (Although I was a bit at the 12k bottle of wine thread). It isn't lazy to pay someone to do something you hate doing when you can be doing something much more rewarding.

StealthPolarBear · 08/04/2009 13:06

spend money on whatever they like without fear of being judged for it I meant to say.

Original poster
JeanPoole · 08/04/2009 13:06

thanks riven, your right i do have ishoos.

what actulally annoys me is that they wasted imo shit loads of money on smoking and drinking when we where kids.
i think who are they to judge.

thanks to everyone for the really good advice.

OP posts:
tessofthedurbervilles · 08/04/2009 13:38

You are in effect creating a job for someone and in the current climate you will probably get inundated with applicants. I have just been trying to fill 27 part time cleaning jobs and it was frightening how many applicants I have had to turn away...my client was picking only the best and could afford to be choosy.

tessofthedurbervilles · 08/04/2009 13:39

Or be sarky and just say 'well as a reward for cutting back on my gin and fag intake I thought I deserved a treat'

Original poster
JeanPoole · 08/04/2009 13:44

pmsl at 'well as a reward for cutting back on my gin and fag intake I thought I deserved a treat'

good point tess, i hadn't really thought about it that way.
the thougth it would actuaally help out someone else, would seriously ease my guilt.

i've just re read this thread and i don't know why i care what they think, and why i'm so bonkers to be bothered by it.

OP posts:
dilemma456 · 08/04/2009 13:51

Message withdrawn

Flibbertyjibbet · 08/04/2009 13:54

Not read whole thread but why a 'secret' cleaner?
If I got a cleaner it would be so bloody obvious!!

I have a cleaner but only a few times a year - when my friend goes on hols I have her cleaner instead for the weekly session!

georgimama · 08/04/2009 14:00

Why on earth would you feel guilty? It is not your function in life to clean things. Who cares if your family think otherwise?

When I read the thread title I thought you meant a cleaner who was secret from your husband, in which case the answer would be, get the cleaner, but don't keep it secret because again, it is not your function in lfe to clean stuff and there is no reason why he should think it is.

Your family's opinion on who cleans your house is simply of no consequence.

mammapiggy · 08/04/2009 14:06

if you can afford and cleaner and you want a cleaner than that is your lookout and its no one elses business really.

however, are you sure your standards are not a bit too high as you are worried what your parents will think etc, i mean i hardly ever clean my oven, i clean the hob each time i use it but inside i dont do it very often tbh. as it goes i cleaned the inside a bit on sunday but its too much like hard work!

i think you may find it easier when your dd is at nursery school or something and you have a few hours to yourself each day, because i know what you mean i do feel guilty going round cleaning and leaving them in front of the tv, but then i feel guilty if i dont do any cleaning one day - you cant win can you!

Original poster
JeanPoole · 08/04/2009 14:10

i feel a bit about doing this thread,but glad i have, you lot are so right thanks for talking some sense into me.

i feel like a right twat thinking like this at age 32.

about time i started sticking up for myself a bit more.

so should i tell them what i am going to do or not bother to mention it?
i never invite them here, they never come.
about once a year they come here.
they live about 30mins away.
so it's not like they are going to pop round and the cleaners is here

OP posts:
kickassangel · 08/04/2009 14:10

i had a secret gardener for a while, and gradually introduced the idea of him to dh when he commented on how nice the garden was looking!

georgimama · 08/04/2009 14:14

"i do feel guilty going round cleaning and leaving them in front of the tv, but then i feel guilty if i dont do any cleaning one day - you cant win can you!"

Yes, you can win, just don't regard it as your function to clean things. Surely cleaning doesn't need doing every day?

mammapiggy · 08/04/2009 14:19

georgimama - i think looking on the good housekeeping threads on here makes me worse i used to think i was quite good at cleaning but some people seem to do massive amounts of cleaning on those good housekeeping threads im going to stop reading them

notcitrus · 08/04/2009 14:25

Do it. I got a cleaner when my hands weren't up to it, but have kept on with one simply because they're always so much better at cleaning than I am (faster and more thorough).

georgimama · 08/04/2009 14:31

Don't look at good housekeeping threads - unless for specific "hoe do I get x out of my carpet" type tips which are useful.

I reckon they're all posting about today's "fly" and actually they're sat in front of the lap top surrounded by an ever increasing pile of discarded crisp packets.

mammapiggy · 08/04/2009 14:35

georgimama - i think you are probably right!

by the way jeanpoole - YANBU (i always forget to put that!)

New posts on this thread. Refresh page