Should the school fete still take place following the death of a pupil?

[DunderMifflin]

I'm purposely not giving many details here, but my DD came home yesterday with the horrible and shocking news that a pupil who she knew had died. The child has other siblings at the school.

So, should the school fete go ahead this afternoon?

I'm questioning this in my own mind because I'm not really one for the Princess Di/Jade Goody public outpourings - although those are undoubtedly sad, I didn't know them but this is obviously a lot closer to home.

Oh, how terribly sad.

My husband used to run an adult sunday league football club. Our son was killed by a lorry driver reversing his lorry. It was DS3's funeral on the Friday and on the Sunday we were in the cup final for our league. The two teams involved asked for our opinion as to wether the final should be played or not. We asked them to go ahead. It was so emotional. They had a minutes silence before the game and I remember watching them and wondering who they were doing it for Sadly we didnt win but the game was played in the spirit that Matt had lived his life. It was a very fitting tribute to a wonderful little lad.

I think it should go ahead but some of the money raised should go towards a tribute of some kind for the child. Yes, the World does keep on turning but a newly bereaved parent would really like to step off the turning World believe me!

No death so sad as that of a child....

I also agree it should go ahead with a tribute to the child. It would be nice, if possible, to use a little of the money for something for the family or a tree/play equipment/bench for the school.

If I were the bereaved parent I would want it to go ahead, for the fundraising, knowing how much effort goes into organsing it, for all the children not affected by my childs death and for all the children affected by my childs death who want to either 'get together' or just forget about it for a while.

As others have said, I feel for the head - damned if you do and damned if you don't...

Really, really feeling for the family

Shabster feel really sad for you xx

I think it should go ahead. With an acknowledgment of the loss of this child. If it were cancelled the family may feel guilty. Things are often done in panic without anyone consulting the family involved. This can put pressure on the family and have the opposite affect than intended.

When my DD died the school shut the entire school on the day of her funeral. They didnt ask ME if that is what I wanted. I heard about it on the morning of the funeral. I was getting frantic, imagining hundreds of teenagers turning up for a public display of grief. The children who were DD friends were already coming to the funeral so there was no need to do this. It caused me a lot of distress.

Ironically this school never actually called me or sent a card to say they were sorry that DD had died. They also ignored her throughout her 2 year illness.

So the way I see it, an empty gesture is worse than no gesture at all.

Hi shabs

Hiya Che!! - I reckon there is no right or wrong way to do this.....if anybody knows a bereaved parent please dont avoid them...dont run down a street so you dont have to talk to them. It is the most weird, odd, revolting experience to loose a child...your world stops turning, your hopes fade, your dreams turn to dust. If you smile you feel guilty and if you actually laugh out loud you hope nobody hears. It is a hopeless, eerie, un-real situation.

shabs - what wise and brave words thanks. i have tears in my eyes just thinking about such loss. i feel very blessed today to have mine with me (though they driving me bonkers)

Sorry for your loss Shabster - I think you've hit the nail on the head.

If the family are OK with fete going ahead then it should go ahead, and perhaps as some others have suggested, a donation could be made towards the childs memorial or a tree planted for them at the school at a later date.