Should the school fete still take place following the death of a pupil?

[DunderMifflin]

I'm purposely not giving many details here, but my DD came home yesterday with the horrible and shocking news that a pupil who she knew had died. The child has other siblings at the school.

So, should the school fete go ahead this afternoon?

I'm questioning this in my own mind because I'm not really one for the Princess Di/Jade Goody public outpourings - although those are undoubtedly sad, I didn't know them but this is obviously a lot closer to home.

It should definitely go ahead in a school that size: about half the pupils will not have known the dead one and would be justifiably upset at having the fete cancelled. Cancelling it would not, after all, serve any purpose whatsoever: the bereaved will have other things on their minds.

yes it should definitely go ahead with an acknowledgement to the child.

I don't agree that the proceeds should be donated to a charity though, the fete is usually the biggest fund-raiser for most schools, so to give the entire amount to a charity would have a longer-term impact on the school.

Perhaps an additional raffle could be organized as a collection for a charity related to this child.

No. If I were the head teacher of that school, I would cancel it.

MrsM why? What good does it do? Inconveniencing and disappointing a load of other people doesn't bring the dead back to life.

Go ahead - but with a reference to the child and family. Good for a sense of community and to relieve tension.

It's a sign of respect. Would you have an office party at work the week after a colleague died? I wouldn't.

wannabe - thats why i was thinking something at the school - a garden or play equipment in memory of the child

but what would cancelling the fete achieve? Apart from to potentially bankrupt the PTA and thus ensure the children would pay the price for the rest of the year?

Would you want the world to stand still if you died? I wouldn't.

Life goes on.

an office party doesn't raise funds

Bereaved people often feel like the world should stop due to their loss: it's understandable to feel that way, however it is not reasonable to try to enforce it. Because we all die and yet life goes on: the immediately bereaved obviously shouldn't be obliged to put on a smiley face and go dancing, but neither should casual acquaintances be forced to stop going about their normal business, particularly if stopping and cancelling things involves other people/the school losing money and lots of children who din't know the deceased being disappointed.

actually, I might.

But I might have it as a celebration of that person.

But office parties don't raise money, so cancelling it wouldn't have the same impact.

and how far do you go to cancel events?

A day? a week? A month? For just how long do you show respect in that way?

My aunt was killed in a car accident two weeks before my wedding. Should I have cancelled my wedding?

Well, I would still feel uncomfortable about it. Perhaps they could reschedule? Or do something in memory of the child that raises money?

Its a good job you're not the headteacher then MrsM. 'Feeling uncomfortable' is not justification for causing a lot of disruption and financial difficulty for a school. Parents who 'feel uncomfortable' are at liberty to stay away from the event, of course.
Mind you I do feel sorry for that head teacher because whichever decision s/he takes will be wrong according to a good number of parents. Cancelling the fete will annoy those who didn't know the deceased especially if they have put money or effort into it, going ahead with the fete will annoy those who are into public sentimentality rather than common sense.
BTW I am not saying which camp the bereaved would fall into as they could easily be in either.

I think it should go ahead. People will obviously be shocked and sad, so a minute's silence is a wonderful idea.
I think a collection in memory of the child, with the money going towards flowers for the funeral and them a charity of the parents' choice would be a nice idea.
I think, for the sake of other children in the school, the fete should go ahead. Death is sadly part of life, and life goes on.

Why are you so angry?@solidgold. People ask for opinions, they get them. FGS.

And actually 'feeling uncomfortable', or more to the point, going with one's instincts and with the general feeling around the school is exactly what a good Head would do.

Indeed, poor family, and poor classmates.

When I was at school a classmate was killed. her dad came to the chool the next day, and told us. The school said anyone who knew her could take the rest of the day off because of the emotional impact. What hapened was that loads of peple who didn't really know her took the day off, saying they were too upset to carry on etc...while those who DID know her well stayed at school because more than ever, they wanted to be together, doing things, just all being TOGETHER.

Part of my saying 'yes' to the fete was that memory of u all wanting to be together, doing things. It is a lovely way for the school to come togther as a community.

Well said, Blu.

agree with Blu; it's at times like this when a community needs each other.

I think it should still go ahead, but that the head should open the fete with a tribute to the child.

When the school I worked at had children die (2 whilst I was there) the school day did continue as normal, but with a memorial assembly and support for classmates. Dedicatins were done afterards too - a bnch int he playground fo r one, a school award/trophy for sport to be given out on prize day for the other.

How sad

IYes it should go ahead. Yes it is a very sadthat a pupil has died but I think it will be good for the children to cary on as normal.