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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to expect the mum with a double buggy.......

46 replies

Dibsie · 31/03/2009 15:41

to acknowledge the fact that I have stepped out into the road to let her pass in our narrow high street. I'm not expecting a huge display of gratitude, just a simple 'thanks'.

It's not the first time I've moved to let her pass and each time she's looked at me as if I'm something she's stood in! She doesn't even thank my DS when he moves!

OP posts:

HecAteTheEasterBunny · 31/03/2009 15:45

you say "You're welcome" in a cheery voice.

I find the best thing to do when people don't thank me, is to just pretend they did and respond accordingly.

Either that or you could just not move out of her way next time (unless you think she'd run you over )

FatFree · 31/03/2009 15:48

You say "dont mention it,...oh you didnt did you

Manners dont cost anything! I get just as mad when i'm driving and stop to let a car go and they dont thank me!

EyeballsintheSky · 31/03/2009 15:51

I always mae a sarky comment now. Am sick of being ignore when I've done something nice so I go round muttering like a mad old woman or using DD as a stooge!

'DD, don't ever grow up to be rude and bad mannered. We must always say please and thank you' etc. Of course by this time, the offender has long gone!

HecAteTheEasterBunny · 31/03/2009 15:51

oh, i raise my hand to acknowledge their (nonexistant) thanks, fatfree and just hope that they twig what i mean!

completelyabsolutely · 31/03/2009 16:25

I am also favour a loud cheery 'You're welcome' if nothing else it makes me feel better and stops me muttering to myself.

Likewise saying 'Thankyou' at the top of your voice when someone lets a door shut on you is also helpful.

completelyabsolutely · 31/03/2009 16:27

Of course I did not mean 'I am also favour'

Note to self - must preview

And of course thank you is not one word.

{leaves quietly}

ScottishThistle · 31/03/2009 16:40

I'm another "YOU'RE WELCOME!" caller, makes me feel better and hopefully makes them think twice!

andlipsticktoo · 31/03/2009 16:45

she might be having a really, really hard time at the moment...
When I had my double buggy I wasn't coping v well with having 2ds under 2 and a dh who worked 6 days a week and played footie til 1pm on Sundays, and my fil had died.

Maybe it's best not assuming she's rude.....

4andnotout · 31/03/2009 16:46

Im the only one out of my pram pushing friends who ever says thank you for someone moving off the path I even have to remind dp Manners cost nothing yet are priceless, when people comment on my childrens good manners it makes me so proud (although they are little feckers at home!)

Wizzska · 31/03/2009 16:52

I am sick of this sort of thing too. I'd also do the 'Your're welcome' thing to a mum with a buggy. These days I also try and hold my line on the pavement and refuse to step into the road because stupid tourists won't look where they're going (am a Londoner). I just barge them if they aren't even going to acknowledge that I exist. It really annoys me, especially walking two abreast on a narrow pavement oblivious to everyone else. Move over or get a Wizzska elbow.

Maybe a bit OTT but makes me feel better.

andlipsticktoo · 31/03/2009 16:54

Is this Mumsnet or Moaningoldladiesnet?

5Foot5 · 31/03/2009 16:56

When my dd was small and I walked with her to school we would often encounter two Mums coming the other way who each had a single buggy but insisted on walking side by side so they could talk. Generally it wouldn't occur to them to single file if they met anyone so I would have to step in to the road to get past and dd also.

Eventually I got fed up so I insisted on holding my line and waiting for them to go single file round me.

PheasantPlucker · 31/03/2009 16:57

It is incredibly rude. I always give the sarky 'you are welcome' when it happens to me. Manners are important.

MummyCharli · 31/03/2009 17:17

I also say "You're welcome" to non-thankers, they normally look really embarassed

I wish I'd met you walking along the pavement when I had a double buggy, I used to end up walking round people in the road because the people round here can'e seem to move to the side/realise they could walk in the road near the kerb and therefore be safer than me and a douuble buggy!

lljkk · 31/03/2009 17:22

When pushing double buggy I have sometimes forgot to say thank you.
Usually because I'm concentrating so hard on not running over dog mess on one side and people's toes on the other.
If you only stepped into the road to get a thank you then please just block up the pavement next time. I have a zillion things on my mind and am not up the responsibility of worrying about your easily wounded pride.

TsarChasm · 31/03/2009 18:15

I've been a mum with a double buggy, 3 dc and a zillion things on my mind too.

I've always said thank you to anyone who is kind to me though. It doesn't take a lot of effort. It's called manners iirc

TsarChasm · 31/03/2009 18:17

Ooh also, also...I hate it when people do this in cars too. You stop to let them through and... nothing.

A little wave is all it takes. I usually wave and smile back at them.

thefortbuilder · 31/03/2009 18:21

i say "no no THANK YOU" in a really sarky voice - dh hates it and always has a go at me, but i agree, manners cost nothing.

I always make sure I thank people, even if i'm not sure if they were stopping anyway iyswim

ds1 also exhibits lovely manners when with others - shame he forgets them as soon as we step in the front door

helsbels4 · 31/03/2009 18:27

How can you forget to say thank-you? It annoys me too when rude people don't acknowledge my good manners in letting them pass. I too offer a sarcastic reply because it is DOWN-RIGHT RUDE!!!!! I'm desperately trying to instill into my dc's that manners cost nothing but mean everything.

PheasantPlucker · 31/03/2009 19:05

How can anyone 'forget to say thank you'? It's not about 'wounding anyone's pride', it's about courtesy.

wotulookinat · 31/03/2009 19:13

Don't move out of her way again.

Peachy · 31/03/2009 19:18

I would smile a thanks, I can't always speak to strangers (just severely shy in that situation)

But no YANBU

bumpybecky · 31/03/2009 19:44

I didn't say thankyou this morning and got the sarcy 'you're welcome'. I'm still not convinced I needed to give thanks though...

Pavement is narrow, cars nose to tail next to it, so no chance to move into the road should we meet anyone. Other side of the road has several driveways leading to carparking from flats behind. Cars have been parked there for school drop off nearby, now all leaving, so lots of traffic. Pavement was empty so we start down there, me with my single (but rather large 3 wheeler) pushchair and preschooler in tow (hence not wanting to negotiate traffic with small bouncy person). We're about half way along when a Dad pushing small baby comes round the corner of the street, sees me, decides to come down same stretch of pavement rather than the other side with driveways. We get to where he is (no chance to pull into road before we see him, too many parked cars) he stops to one side of the pavement. We pass, he almost instantly gives sarcy comment.

The way I see it he saw us and still chose to go down the pavement. He didn't actually move out of our way, just stopped briefly. It didn't occur to me to say thanks. Had I been in his position I'd have started on the other side of the road anyway.

I do normally say thankyou if people move for us. This morning though his sarcy comment was the final straw. We were on the way back from the GP's after having a fasting bloodtest and I was in tears by the time we got home

Manners are important, I understand that. But I also think it's quite rude to assume you deserve thanks for something so small.

HecAteTheEasterBunny · 31/03/2009 19:45

andlipsticktoo - is this your first day here it's both, of course.

wotulookinat · 31/03/2009 19:49

Bumpybecky, I think you should have said thanks.

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