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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect the mum with a double buggy.......

46 replies

Dibsie · 31/03/2009 15:41

to acknowledge the fact that I have stepped out into the road to let her pass in our narrow high street. I'm not expecting a huge display of gratitude, just a simple 'thanks'.

It's not the first time I've moved to let her pass and each time she's looked at me as if I'm something she's stood in! She doesn't even thank my DS when he moves!

OP posts:
HecAteTheEasterBunny · 31/03/2009 19:51

I think you DO deserve thanks for the small things. That's courtesy. That's the very thing that is missing from society today and we are all the worse for it! We'd all be a lot better off if we were routinely courteous to one another. Really, we would. nothing is to small for politeness. Nothing.

When you let the smallest thing slide, the next smallest thing becomes the smallest thing - and you let that slide, then the next smallest thing becomes the smallest thing and you start to think that's too small to matter ...and before you know it, it's ok to swear and steal and shout and mouth off at your teacher and throw litter...and it's the beginning of the end

of
society
as
we
know
it

You can laugh, call me OTT, but it's true.

TheFallenMadonna · 31/03/2009 19:51

Doesn't it just sort of slip out naturally? Obviously not, but I find myself thanking people all the time. It's like a reflex. I dare say some would argue that that makes it mean nothing, but it does make the social wheels turn more smoothly I reckon.

HecAteTheEasterBunny · 31/03/2009 19:52

too. not to

StarlightMcKenzie · 31/03/2009 19:56

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wotulookinat · 31/03/2009 20:00

But why didn't you say thanks to them, Starlight?

StarlightMcKenzie · 31/03/2009 20:12

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nbee84 · 31/03/2009 20:31

bumpybecky - I still would have said a quick 'thanks' - costs nothing! It;s just being polite.

helsbels4 · 31/03/2009 21:00

It's not rude to expect someone to say thanks when you have moved out of their way - it's rude not to say thanks!

poorbuthappy · 31/03/2009 22:04

Had to click on this having 17 week old twins and a huge double buggy - but I am safe...it was not me...and I do say thank you, and your welcome in the sarcastic voice - although to be honest round 'ere most people are very accomodating!

Annabel1 · 01/04/2009 02:57

It's nice when it happens I would like to think that I always say thank you but thank yous are gifts - you can't ask or expect and it's a waste of energy to get upset when someone doesn't say thank you.

bebespain · 01/04/2009 09:00

Ahhh this really annoys me too!

However have you thought that maybe she is foreign....? know that here in Spain nobody would ever say thanks if you let them past, its just not a thing to be grateful for and I would imagine it to be the same in other countries.

Just a thought...

IwishIwereonthebeach · 01/04/2009 09:10

I live near a city where there are lots of very narrow passageways and alleys. Anyway, one day, out shopping, I let 2 people come down some very narrow steep steps before I went up. They swept past me without a thank you, so I said YOU'RE WELCOME!! Rather sarcastically. Well, I thought I was going to be punched. The woman turned on me and shrieked- WHAT DID YOU SAY??? All ready for a fight, fists up and everything. It was her partner who dragged her away saying leave it don't cause a scene!! I consider myself lucky not to have been thrown in the adjacent canal!

ummadam · 01/04/2009 09:13

I'm another 'you're welcome!' caller..... but then I'm someone who automatically says sorry when someone else bumps into me and thank-you even if someone only pauses to let me pass. I have to admit I don't usually say 'you're welcome' very loudly - I'm a bit afraid of confrontation and I figure anyone without the good manners to say thank-you automatically is probably a high risk for shouting and swearing at me in return!

MikeStand · 01/04/2009 09:26

I have every sympathy for double buggy users and agree that manners cost nothing. What really winds me up is couples holding hands who will not separate and force me or my children to walk on the road or into the mud by the path.

"look everyone we are much more in love than you and cannot possibly part for one moment".

DandyLioness · 01/04/2009 09:31

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DandyLioness · 01/04/2009 09:31

This reply has been deleted

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izzybiz · 01/04/2009 09:32

My Dh was holding the door to a shop open for me to come through with Ds in the pram, and two women just strolled through without even saying thankyou!
I said, "its ok, come on through, don't mention it!"

Another one that bugs me is if you are on a narrow path and someone will walk on the inside to get by, while me, 4 yo Dd and a pram have to walk by the road!
I will hold back and let them by if they don't stop.

Cannot stand rudeness!!

mistlethrush · 01/04/2009 09:52

Pre ds I was walking through the town centre - pavement had been dug up so there was a diversion made with those fixable heavy barriers - wide enough for two people to pass in opposite directions comfortably or three people linked arms to walk along. Coming in the opposite direction were three people with linked arms. Not taking any notice of the fact that they were taking the whole of the width, there was no way to move out of the way, or that there was someone coming in the other direction (me). Luckily, I could see what was going to happen, was well braced for impact. And they had the affront to blame me even though I was stationary at the time!

Stayingsunnygirl · 01/04/2009 10:12

I am utterly shocked at those who think they don't have to thank someone who has moved to let them by!! And 'it was their decision to walk down that bit of street' is NOT an excuse for bad manners!! I believe that I should maintain my standards of manners and politeness, rather than looking for reasons not to be polite.

I believe that, if people realise that if someone feels that their polite gesture has been acknowledged by the other person, they may be more likely to repeat it the next time - and vice versa.

After all, how difficult is it to say 'thank-you'? It costs you nothing, and good manners are the oil that help society run smoothly, imo. Not to mention that it's hardly a good example for your children if you don't see the need to display good manners except when it suits you!

OK, rant over.

AprilMeadow · 01/04/2009 10:15

Sarcasm all the way for me. No excuse for not saying thank you. Same goes for road users who you let out but dont say thanks.

ThePellyandMe · 01/04/2009 10:17

I always call out 'you're welcome' too. I hate rudeness, really don't think there's any excuse for it. I always say thankyou, hopefully I'm bringing up my children to do the same.

We walk along a very narrow pavement to school and as my ds's can be a bit slow I always ask them to stop and move over so people can get past us. The same if there's people coming the other direction, I ask them to move to the same side. Lots of other people don't bother to do the same.

But I will always move for buggies. Not 2 or more side by side though, that's just rude. I always think aswell that those with the youngest children should have the inside and older ones on the outside.

And I will never move for a bike....ever. I position myself right in the middle of the pavement and stay there.

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