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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

leaving baby in car-neglect?

46 replies

valleysprincess · 31/03/2009 14:10

OK more of a question than anything. We live in the country in a little cul-de-sac. LO of 9 months frequently goes to sleep in the car on the way back from mums and toddlers. If I woke her, she would not go back to sleep inside and would whinge all afternoon. I have one of those spangly BT baby monitor's so often I park in the drive and put the monitor in the car so I can hear when she wakes. The car is parked right outside the front window and locked. Obviously I wouldnt leave her in there in the summer when it's warm.

Now do you think that SS would consider this neglect in some way? I'm having a paranoid day.

Also do you leave your LO in the car when you pay for petrol?

Whats the consensus?

OP posts:

whyme2 · 31/03/2009 14:12

It sounds sensible to me although some would disagree about leaving a sleeping baby.
I always leave my children in the car at the petrol station. I think it is too dangerous to get them out.

OrmIrian · 31/03/2009 14:13

Sounds Ok to me.

MelMack · 31/03/2009 14:14

I think it's totally reasonable.

Before having my baby I'd have probably said it was neglect , but having experienced the negative side of disturbed sleep, I'd probably do the same as you - making sure the car's in the shade/a window's slightly open etc etc & checking on them regularly.

MsSpentEaster · 31/03/2009 14:14

i leave LO in car when i pay for petrol, if you live somewhere quiet and can hear LO then i wouldn't be worried, i used to leave DS in his pram in the garden next to the window, if it rained i just put a rain cover on him.

YANBU imo

nickytwotimes · 31/03/2009 14:14

Lots of people do this.
Personally, I wouldn't, but then ds was never one to nod off in the car.
If you can see you child, you are not neglecting.
FOr me the main risk is some other vehicle colliding with ours. Where you are that sounds very unlikely.

gonaenodaethat · 31/03/2009 14:14

Fine to me. I used to do this all the time.

MorocconOil · 31/03/2009 14:14

I used to leave mine asleep in the car outside our house.

I always leave them in the car when I pay for petrol. Much safer than dragging three DC across a busy petrol station forecourt. What could happen to them in the car?

PrettyCandles · 31/03/2009 14:14

Absolutely fine by me. I do both. Just make sure that you leave a window open a crack, especially if the car is in the sun or in warm weather.

Flibbertyjibbet · 31/03/2009 14:14

I've never left either of my ds's in the car if they fell asleep during a journey.
If they wake up and whinge then so be it, I just don't want to leave them in the car.

My friends mother frequently does it when looking after her grandson and you can't see her car on the drive without going to the window and practically leaning out.

I do leave the two of them in the locked car when I pay for petrol as I think the risk of any forecourt fire (usually mentioned on here as a risk) is much less than trying to get two small dcs across a gargage full of constantly moving cars.

ohdearwhatamess · 31/03/2009 14:14

Sounds fine to me.

I do it at the petrol station and outside village shops too.

IheartNY · 31/03/2009 14:15

Sounds fine to me as long as she is ok temperature wise.
On a cold day it might feel warm to you when you get out the car but it will cool down quickly as engine cools down.

MarlaSinger · 31/03/2009 14:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

paranoidmother · 31/03/2009 14:15

I leave my DC's in the locked car whilst paying for petrol as long as I can see them from the garage.

Also I leave mine in the car opposite the butchers if one is asleep as it's a tiny village and I can see them clearly and the car is locked.

Again like you I don't do this if it's hot or too sunny outside. (Not that we get much sun here).

We use to leave both DC when they were much younger in car for half an hour nap if it wasn't too warm, but we do have a large yard to park the car in and can see into the car from the front of the house. Normally leave the house door open and car window a jar to. Luckily this is about 3 car lengths from the gates and round a corner so no-one from the road can see the car, child etc.

You can never be too paranoid but try to balance what is happening out to and the dc's needs.

Dillydaydreamer · 31/03/2009 14:16

No, I don't think its neglect so long as she is always in direct view of you. I have done this in the same situation. Or go sit in the car with a coffee and a good book
I do leave my dcs in the car when paying for petrol and just ensure the doors are locked and watch them through the shop window.
In a cul-de-sac I don't think its likely to be unsafe, especially right under your window.

I would not leave a child in the car on a main rd as it may get bumped into. Or outside shops in a car park except to get a trolley.

belgo · 31/03/2009 14:16

I don't really like this. It gets very hot very quickly in a car, as I found out when I was locked in one for 15 minutes a couple of years go, even though it was not a hot day.

LauriefairycakeeatsCupid · 31/03/2009 14:17

the only reason I wouldn't do this with a young baby is that I might fall asleep inside the house cos its nice and quiet

and then when waking have that massive panicky moment of fuck, I've fallen asleep

Mummyfor3 · 31/03/2009 14:19

Yep, sounds fine to me too - but then again I am a serial offender in that respect..

And I always let sleeping babies carry on sleeping in pram in the garden, and not a single one of them has been stolen by a fox/gypsy/paedophile . Sorry, I do not mean to be flippant about people's concerns, but I get v cross about the constant exaggerated anxiety we are being made to feel by the media/well-meaning random others etc.

Tee2072 · 31/03/2009 14:20

I wouldn't do it, because the temperature in a car can change very quickly in either direction.

IwishIwasmorechocolatey · 31/03/2009 14:21

I think especially as you're putting the monitor in, and as long as you're sure she's not too hot or cold it's fine and YANBU.

I leave my ds's in the car when I pay for petrol if I can't pay at the pump.

Original poster

valleysprincess · 31/03/2009 14:30

Thanks all. Your right about the temps tho (those ppl who say that) The monitor has a thermometer on it though and an alarm goes off if it gets too hot).

I'm had a little paranoid fit earlier as the neighbour said "oooh she looks so cute when she's sleeping" in the car and I worried that she'd think badly of me-not that she said anything like that.

The other day a mum in group told me how her friend left her sleeping 2 month old in her flat while she walked down the stairs of the flat to put the bin out. Someone called SS and she got a visit from a SW.

OK so maybe there's more to that story-if there's not it made me think that there were parallels with my car thing

OP posts:

georgimama · 31/03/2009 14:33

Lots of people don't do this, but I do. However, since DS had a fit in the car (not when I did this, when driving along) I have always left the window open when leaving him to snooze on the drive.

If it weren't nice enough to leave the window open I wouldn't leave him in the car.

Mummyfor3, in a pram in the garden is the best place for a baby (tongue in cheek emoticon).

pud1 · 31/03/2009 14:33

i would think it was fine but a friends neighbour called ss as she did the same. they did visit but no action was taken

Gateau · 31/03/2009 14:39

I unfortunatley can't do this as we live in flats and have no driveway- and I'm not going to leave DS i the car on the busyish roadside - unless it's sunny and I'm in the garden very close to him.
DS (nearly 2)) now won't go for a nap in the house so I either have to take him out in his buggy (rare) or in the car. When he falls asleep I get a coffee from the local McDonalds drive-in, park up and read my book.
It would be more productive for his nap time to be in the house so I could do something like ironing,but as it stands, I just have to relax and read my book instead.Shucks.

PinkTulips · 31/03/2009 14:40

i do it.

we live in the country and up til last month didn't even have neighbours so since we've moved here ds1 has often napped in the car, nowadays it's the only nap he ever has.

in summer if it's breezy i just opened all the doors to create a draught and woke him if it started to get too warm.

not that it gives me a break.. it honestly would be easier of he was asleep in the house as then i wouldn't have to hover by the front door checking on him. he always wakes up if moved though and is hideous if woken

Original poster

valleysprincess · 31/03/2009 14:41

Gateau:- I do the McDonalds coffee/book thing too lol

OP posts:

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