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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

leaving baby in car-neglect?

46 replies

valleysprincess · 31/03/2009 14:10

OK more of a question than anything. We live in the country in a little cul-de-sac. LO of 9 months frequently goes to sleep in the car on the way back from mums and toddlers. If I woke her, she would not go back to sleep inside and would whinge all afternoon. I have one of those spangly BT baby monitor's so often I park in the drive and put the monitor in the car so I can hear when she wakes. The car is parked right outside the front window and locked. Obviously I wouldnt leave her in there in the summer when it's warm.

Now do you think that SS would consider this neglect in some way? I'm having a paranoid day.

Also do you leave your LO in the car when you pay for petrol?

Whats the consensus?

OP posts:

Gateau · 31/03/2009 14:43

Just thinking, if/when DS naps in the car in the hot summer days (fingers crossed there are some), I'll park up somewhere really quiet and nice, open all the doors, and chill out while catching some sun.

ChippyMinton · 31/03/2009 14:45

You can only do what you are comfortable with. I've been very inconsistent, and can't justify why I could leave them someplace and not another:

I have never felt the need to take my DC out of the car at a petrol station.

I have left one or more in the car while I ran the other(s) up to the school gate.

I have left them in the car outside a shop.

But oddly, I have never left them asleep in the car on the drive.

Gateau · 31/03/2009 14:45

Hey, valley. Great idea, isn't it?

ThePellyandMe · 31/03/2009 14:45

I've never left either of mine sleeping in the care while I've been in the house, I have sat with them in the car when they were asleep though. Not for long,obviously gets boring very quickly It's just something i've never felt comfortable doing.

The petrol station thing I do now they are older. A 4 and 6 year old crossing a busy petrol ststion is IMO more risky than leaving them in the car with the door locked. They are quite trustworthy and will stay strapped in their seats. If they were inclined to get out of their seats I wouldn't do it.

Original poster

valleysprincess · 31/03/2009 14:45

It's bliss G

OP posts:

PinkTulips · 31/03/2009 14:49

and with 3 of 4 and under i wouldn't dream of taking them out to pay for petrol... far more dangerous to wrangle my lot across a busy forecourt than to lave them for 2 mins and watch them out the window of the garage

AddictedtoCrunchies · 31/03/2009 14:50

If I've got the baby with me then I always go to Tesco and pay at pump.

If I lived somewhere quiet I'd leave him asleep in the car but I don't so i can't.

My MIL always put him for a nap in his pram in the garden last summer. He was all wrapped up and slept like the proverbial baby on the patio. She was usually pottering about in the kitchen and the gate was locked.

pinkmagic1 · 31/03/2009 14:51

I often leave DD in the car asleep in the driveway, with the window open if its warm. We have a driveway and live in a quiet cul-de-sac.

HeadFairy · 31/03/2009 14:51

I have done at my parents house (very rural, private road) and checked him regularly. Esp as ds has a habit of chatting away during almost the whole drive and falling asleep ten mins from their house!

I've done it at their house in France too, and was paranoid about the temperature so had all the doors and windows open and three fans standing blowing cool breeze over him (their drive is behind private gates).

I do leave ds in the car at petrol stations too unless I'm getting a few bits and bobs in one of the larger ones with a shop attached.

Pwsimerimew · 31/03/2009 14:56

They've just been talking about this on Jeremy Vine following a car theft over the weekend where a toddler was still inside. He was found safe by the way, but you might want to listen ti it again on i player? One caller said she made this mistake and was hounded by social workers afterwards and threatened with court.
I've done it myself though - you know your own area don't you.

Pwsimerimew · 31/03/2009 14:56

Jeremy Vine as in Radio 2 show.

oregonianabroad · 31/03/2009 15:09

I do this on my drive.

Also leave them locked in car when I'm getting petrol.

hedgiemum · 31/03/2009 16:43

I'm usually all for not disturbing sleeping babies, but feel uncomfortable and would not leave dc in car sleeping on driveway etc.. Before becoming parents we were foster carers, and I know we'd never have done it with a foster child - goes against all the training. At the same time, a supervising social worker for foster carers is looking at different things than social workers who get random tip offs from nosy neighbours, and I can't imagine social services having an interest in parents doing this as long as reasonable precautions are in place, as they seem to be for those on here who do it.

RedFraggle · 31/03/2009 16:48

Not unreasonable if you can see you LO. I personally used to have a book in the car for these moments. I would park up in a quiet road near our local woods and wind the window down and have a quiet read while my LO slept. I quite miss the break now that they are both out of this stage!

frankie3 · 31/03/2009 16:52

I always used to do this. I had no driveway at my first house, so I used to sit on my front wall and read a book. Then, when we had a driveway I used to sit in the front garden or in the hallway looking out of the front door. I would always keep the window open a crack, and wouldn't do it if it was too hot out - then I would go and park somewhere in the shade and read magazines!

cornsilk · 31/03/2009 16:53

I wouldn't do it. Lots of people do though.

MollieO · 01/04/2009 10:48

Never, either in the drive (we live on a quiet private no through road) or at a petrol station or anywhere tbh. Nor would I get my shopping out of the car before my child - as reported the other day on the bbc website and car was stolen with child inside. Lots of people do though.

Ds used to always fall asleep in the car so I made sure I took my reading book with me so I both of us could stay in the car until he woke up.

Had a talk from the police at my local hospital post natal group and a story they told about a baby being left in a car made me weep. Sometimes it is a pita but I always do it.

StealthPolarBear · 01/04/2009 10:57

I don't leave him asleep in the car as it's not necessary for me (he either wakes up when the engine stops, or is asleep enough to be brought in still asleep).
I have recently started leaving him in the car when paying for petrol. I have to use whichever pump is closest to the shop though, and do feel a bit nervous while I'm in - but can't justify that!

steviesgirl · 01/04/2009 12:22

If my dd (who's nearly 3 now), falls asleep in the car whilst moving and if I arrive at my house or mum's and she's still asleep, I leave her there for a while until she wakes, if she doesn't wake on her own I give her half an hour and then get her anyway.

I'm constantly checking her and looking out the window, like every few minutes.

I think it would be a lot unfairer on her if I was to wake her when she was tired. If a child's in the car asleep at home and you're constantly checking I can't see the problem at all tbh.

YANBU.

Gangle · 02/04/2009 21:40

Would never do this. If I don't want to him up I sit in the car and read/doze with the doors locked until he wakes up.

kettlechip · 02/04/2009 21:43

I use petrol stations where you can pay at the pump where possible, most supermarkets do this now.

I've left the ds' in the car a few times, but it's on the driveway at the end of a cul de sac so virtually no passing traffic etc. I check on them virtually every couple of minutes though..

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