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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to slap this silly silly girl.

30 replies

deanychip · 31/03/2009 12:23

well, i am bieng unreasonable and a bit oversensitive but dear God are all teanage girls this crappy????

So 1st appointment with the gynae doc yesterday for years of infertility and problems.

stood at the desk to book in in a very full, very busy gynae waiting room.
Girl in school uniform in front of me shouts across at another girl...."wot you doin ere, you pregnant?"

No answer.

Silly girl "cos i am" floods of giggling from silly girl and the mother who was stood proudly next to the girl.

sigh.
life is so unfair and shite sometimes.

OP posts:
nickytwotimes · 31/03/2009 12:25

God, they sound awful.
No, not all teenagers are like that. Most of the ones I know are great.
Sorry you had a crap experience.

Geepers · 31/03/2009 12:27

That doesn't mean that she was pregnant though, does it? Maybe she was there because of heavy periods or any number of reasons.

kidcreoleandthehotcrossbuns · 31/03/2009 12:27

Well you are being a bit unreasonable...but then you knew that anyway .

Yes it is shite and unfair

Original poster
deanychip · 31/03/2009 12:28

hmmmmmf

OP posts:
messymissy · 31/03/2009 12:28

I feel for you. must have felt like salt being rubbed into the wound.

Good luck with your treatment. Don't let this get you down.

nametaken · 31/03/2009 12:28

Awww, deanychip I know exactly how you feel. I suffered from infertility for years and used to get so upset at people laughing about unplanned pregnancies.

Incidently, it is very very bad form for infertility cases to have to share waiting rooms with pregnancy cases. I'd have a word with the hospital about that.

know how you feel

Original poster
deanychip · 31/03/2009 12:31

Thanks namey.

This hospital has just (about 2 months ago) seperated early featal assessment from the post natal ward where it was run(!!!!!) from the later pregnancy assessment unit.

previously i have been sandwiched between two heavily pregnant ladies while listening to new borns cry after being told that i should miscarry in the next week or two based on scan results....now go and wait in the waiting room for us to call you to have your bloods taken Mrs chip.

OP posts:
nametaken · 31/03/2009 12:34

oh that's just a crap way for a hospital to treat women suffering from infertility. YANBU.

Thing is, it's not really the silly teenagers fault, there will always be silly teenagers around. It's the hospitals fault. Whereabouts in the country are you?

Are you trying IVF?

nametaken · 31/03/2009 12:35

oh that's just a crap way for a hospital to treat women suffering from infertility. YANBU.

Thing is, it's not really the silly teenagers fault, there will always be silly teenagers around. It's the hospitals fault for being so bloody insensitive. Whereabouts in the country are you?

Are you trying IVF?

Original poster
deanychip · 31/03/2009 12:37

North west.

Thing is, i did a preg test on mothers day...it was a BFP.

Having troubles (which is normal for me, reoccuring mcs)

So was seeing the doc based on my last set of probs.

my lady bits are somewhat bizzare!

OP posts:
ShittyBogStain · 31/03/2009 12:37

I was stood in an ATM queue this morning, listening in to a conversation between two teen girls (one with a baby in a pram).

girl 1 - "hey, I wonder if Ricky's my bairns dad ...?"

girl 2 - "why, you done him? I reckon he looks like Jordan, bet he's his dad"

girl 1 - "nah he isn't, already had a dna test and he wasn't the dad"

Good god, and they didn't seem in the least bit bothered by this.

HeadFairy · 31/03/2009 12:38

deany I don't think YABU at all. That's rotten. It's such a truism that youth is wasted on the young. They have no appreciation of what their bodies can do at that age. I hope you get some good news soon. I have very vivid memories of having scans to confirm two lost pregnancies and sitting in a waiting room surrounded by pregnant women waiting for their ante natal appointments. When on earth with the NHS cotton on this is such a sensitive subject. Let those with broken limbs sit in the same waiting room as those waiting for blood tests but ffs put the women who are miscarrying or having infertility investigated in seperate room.

Original poster
deanychip · 31/03/2009 12:39

LOL shitty, was going to say "oh how chav" but then i cant reply to someone with a name like shittybogstain calling other folk chavs can i!! Oh you have made me laff my head off, thanks for that, i bloody LOVE your name.

OP posts:
Chaotica · 31/03/2009 12:45

FWIW I bet a lot of teenagers like this have no idea there might be people in your situation listening (and a lot would shut up if they knew). I'm sure it doesn't occur to them that the hospital would put you in the same waiting room either.

BouncingTurtle · 31/03/2009 12:52

I remember being at the local EPU when I was having a m/c sharing a waiting room with a pregnant teen who had a serious case of catbum face... I felt like slapping her.

YANBU

MorrisZapp · 31/03/2009 12:57

I'm really sorry for not getting this, but why should young pregnant people be slapped?

I had a severe cat bum face and was trying not to cry when I found out I had accidentally got PG. I had a termination.

I don't get why I should pretend otherwise. Was I meant to feel lucky or blessed? The silly girls were just being daft - I hear worse every day on the bus.

Original poster
deanychip · 31/03/2009 13:04

NONONO! you are completely missing the point.
pregnant teanage girls should not be slapped, thats not what i am saying at all.

As i said, i was feeling very sensitive and have had a rubbish time.

i was being unreasonable.

just wanted to vent and say that "FOR ME" life has been unfair.

please dont think that i was judging, was just having a cats bum face myself that day.

OP posts:
BouncingTurtle · 31/03/2009 13:07

MZ - well I wasn't exactly myself that day, as I was losing a much wanted baby and having to share a waiting room with a pg teen who clearly didn't want to be.
Of course I don't think they should be slapped - that's just how I felt at the time.

MrsMattie · 31/03/2009 13:08

I agree with Morris, sorry deany. I don't see why young mums or any other pregnant woman should apologise for not having fertility problems .

messymissy · 31/03/2009 13:16

I dont think they are being asked to apologise for not having fertility problems ... thats not the point the op was making.

i think she was just saying life can feel so unfair when someone tries so hard to get pregnant and it may seem that others are pregnant by genuine accident or with no forethought that they could get pregnant.

MorrisZapp · 31/03/2009 13:16

Fair enough OP. I hope I didn't sound mean. The boot is on the other foot now. Once upon a time I had an unwanted PG and found it sad to deal with.

Now I'm 38 and ttc - who knows if I will be lucky or not. I am realistic about this.

But I don't grudge anybody their lovely DCs and I certainly don't have any issue with young women not looking happy enough about their unwanted PG's.

I know that's not what was meant by the OP etc but I have read so many threads about people daring to be PG in the face of those who are having problems, and I just don't think it's fair. If you were PG and thrilled about it (or otherwise), would you keep it a secret in case of somebody in earshot who might be having problems?

Perhaps the youngsters might look at you with your lovely house, car and devoted partner and want to slap you too. Maybe they think you are the lucky one, and that you have what they wish they did. Life is a funny old bugger.

MilaMae · 31/03/2009 13:17

You have my sympathies Deany. I think people with fertility problems are treated appallingly half the time by the NHS.

I ended up in hospital with severe OHSS,told I shouldn't do IVF again. Whilst in hospital I found out the cycle that had put me in there hadn't worked.

The lady in the bed next to me was crying herself to sleep over over her ectopic.

A teenage girl in for an abortion was put on the same very small ward as us. We had to endure the celebrations from the girl,her mother and all the nurses when she came back from theatre "babyfree" as they all put it.

I had to endure so many waiting rooms for scans filled with pregnant women over the years. Is it really that hard to look at people's notes and put those of us suffering in a different room to wait?

I really feel for you and don't think you were being unreasonable-virtual hug!!!!!!

MorrisZapp · 31/03/2009 13:23

Why do you assume that those having a termination are not also suffering?

When I had mine I was ok but another lady there sobbed as though her heart would break.

I think that people who are struggling with fertility issues may lose perspective on this. They too would once have greeted unwanted pregnancy with horror, and been crying, upset etc at having to deal with it.

Why can't all women going through any kind of difficulty support each other? I wasn't sitting in various waiting rooms thinking 'yay! abortion!', believe me.

Kiansmummy · 31/03/2009 13:25

Please dont give up hope- before I had my son I had a double ectopic pregnancy and was told my chances of pregnancy were significantly reduced, I was then hospitalised with a miserable overdue pregnant woman next to me and prior to that whilst going through the intial assesment I had to sit in an antenatal waiting room full of people going for scans!! I did not feel anything about this at the time as I was a bit numb and everyone deserves some happiness and to be a mother if they so wish however thinking back I suppose it was insensitive for the hospital/s to do this.
Any way I went on to have my son naturally a few months later. And also My Mil had her first natural child at 40 after being told she would never ever concieve so there is hope.
I really hope things go well for you my lovely x

Original poster
deanychip · 31/03/2009 13:30

Thanks, i have everything crossed.

OP posts:
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