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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that my DD age 3 would SHUT UP when I'm on the phone????

59 replies

MamaJeVoirFairePeePee · 31/03/2009 10:38

I wouldn't care if I was talking to friends on the phone but I work from home and I am with her all day, the only time she does not have my attention is when I am on the bloody phone and she starts screaming and shouting and I feel bloody embarrassed when I am talking to customers.

I have tried reasoning with her and telling her how important it is that Mummy works, and even putting cbeebies on but nothing works.
Help please.......

OP posts:
HecAteTheEasterBunny · 31/03/2009 10:50

ok, advice - first of all, you are NOT going to get her to stop, not at this age. so get that idea out of your head. so she needs to be in another room or something. get an au pair.

rubyslippers · 31/03/2009 10:50

MN is for help, but there are really very few solutions because a 3 year old cannot understand the importance of being quiet

can you not schedule the bulk of your phonecalls between 12 and 3? or work when she is in bed

failing that, I am not sure what else can be done

childcare is blimming expensive so i feel your pain

SamJamsmum · 31/03/2009 10:50

YABU
You can try and improve things maybe with a special box of toys she can have out when you are on the phone. (I volunteer on a helpline and I had this for my son when he was around 3).
You can try and explain why it's helpful for her to keep her voice down.
But honestly it still may not improve things entirely. She's still little to have developed empathy/ patience/ understanding. I don't think you should be cross with her. She's probably a bit confused.

MarlaSinger · 31/03/2009 10:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mankyscotslass · 31/03/2009 10:51

You really cannot expect to do any work when your DC is in the house.

You either need to restrict the hours you work to the time she is un nursery, or sort out other childcare.

She is just being a 3 year old.

rubyslippers · 31/03/2009 10:52

lots of x-posts

swanriver · 31/03/2009 10:53

My children (older) can be playing quite happily, and I can be busying myself with something uninterrupted, but the minute they see me on the phone they are enraged and start demanding attention.
I think it is a natural thing to want to be part of a conversation, and not be left out.
If you think about it they cannot hear what the other person is saying and it is tremendously frustrating.
I understand it is annoying because you otherwise give your child lots of attention, and you just want her to be quiet for those few moments, but I'm afraid it doesn't work like that. Perhaps after lengthy training in this she WILL learn, but in the meantime you might have to have some special activity that only comes out when you are on phone.
Scribbleboard thingy? Computery thingy with voice like Leappad? Toyphone, toy office?

PinkTulips · 31/03/2009 10:54

lol.... dd hangs off my legs screaming 'I WANNA TALK ON THE PHONE! I WANNA SAY HELLO! GRANNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEE!' (she thinks granny is the only one who ever rings me )

she's 4 and yes it is bloody annoying trying to sort official stuff with her doing it.

is there any way you can remove yourself for phone calls... stand outside watching her through a window maybe? i stand outside the front door as i find even if she follows me out the screeching is easier to ignore when i'm not in a confined space with her and the person at the other end doesn't hear as much of it.

flowerybeanbag · 31/03/2009 10:55

If you have childcare between 12.30 and 3 then those are the hours you can work. Or at least the hours you are available for phone calls. Who has your baby during that time, if you consider 12.30-3.00 to be hours during which you have childcare?

Triggles · 31/03/2009 10:59

I would think the easiest solution would be to schedule all calls during that 12:30 to 3pm when she is at school. Put your phone on answering machine until that time of day, with a message saying that you will be available to return calls between those hours, but give callers the option to contact you by email, which you will be able to access sooner if need be. If anyone asks about the arrangement, it's quite easy to say you work from home, and prefer to do your calls during a time when you can give the caller your full attention. It makes you sound more organised and more professional that way anyway.

MmeLindt · 31/03/2009 10:59

Sorry that you did not get much sympathy, but you are being unreasonable to expect a 3yo to understand the concept of Mummy working and having to be quiet.

Do you have to be available at all times or could you schedule calls during the time she is in school?

Tbh, it is going to get worse when your baby gets a little older. You are not going to get around paying for childcare much longer, I am afraid.

AitchTwoOh · 31/03/2009 11:00

actually, dd1 (3) generally gets that i'm on the phone and 'mummy's working' so will leave me in peace for a few minutes, but any more than that is taking the piss i feel. generally i don't pick up the phone when she's at home unless she's settled doing something.

nickytwotimes · 31/03/2009 11:01

Pmsl at getting peace on the phone when dc is around.

Yab very u.

Original poster
MamaJeVoirFairePeePee · 31/03/2009 11:05

Baby is 1 and is happy sitting on my knee chewing on things while I type, but 1230 til 3 is also "me and baby" time while DD is at school if you know what I mean - so I think I am gonna just give up working from home TBH.
Today has been the icing on the cake as far as homeworking is concerned. I just don't get how others do it.

You are all totally right, it is not fair on DD or DS, me or DH so now I am going to go and have a good cry and a cuddle with my babies.

OP posts:
seeker · 31/03/2009 11:06

You haven't got a hope - my 13 year old dd won't shut up when I'm on the phone!

Babieseverywhere · 31/03/2009 11:10

If I have to make a call during the day, I have to do it in front of toddler as she won't nap.

I have to put her in the hall with a book and toy whilst I make the phone call

Else I can not hear anything above her talking, singing etc. That said I have trouble hearing at the best of time and having a lot of trouble hearing at the moment.

I certainly wouldn't try and work using the phone during the day, too much of a nightmare. Use email instead !?!

morningpaper · 31/03/2009 11:11

You don't need to give up working at home - you either need to work evenings/weekends or get child care

I don't know ANYONE who works from home WHILE looking after children, it doesn't seem possible to me

AitchTwoOh · 31/03/2009 11:13

ahem.

Ponders · 31/03/2009 11:13

Gorionine, that picture was scary

morningpaper · 31/03/2009 11:14

You don't WORK Aitch, you just watch telly and faff on Mumsnet

MmeLindt · 31/03/2009 11:14

You don't need to stop work, just rearrange things so that you have time for your DC and work.

Could you reduce your hours? What kind of work do you do?

AitchTwoOh · 31/03/2009 11:15

[banged to rights]

morningpaper · 31/03/2009 11:19
Grin
Higglepig · 31/03/2009 11:27

I tried working from home without childcare, thought I'd do interviews etc while DD took her nap!?! [Sniggers at own naivety.] Proper childcare it is...

Gorionine · 31/03/2009 11:39

Ponders, I posted it when I still thought the post was a joke but as the thread just went so fast it was VERY BADLY xposted and of POOR TASTE, as it was really meant to be a "funny" and not scary! Sorry If it offended OP and other posters!

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