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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to knock on my n'bours door & tell them to shut up having sex

48 replies

kylesmyloveheart · 29/03/2009 22:52

dont think i am but need some advice.

new neighbours bedroom is next to mine. 2 or 3 nights a week im woken to screams of '' my harder''. and just general over the top pants, ahhh, ahhh. AAARRRR!!

i get up and it follows me round entire flat. ive been dreading ds 7 hearing it as we share bunk beds in the room.

the neighbours before them were sexually active. the guy would often bring people back and never once did i hear a thing.

was reading with ds and i could hear the bed going her screaming him panting and i felt sick in my stomach. couldn't concentrate and thought this has got to stop - have some respect ffs.

so went round and knocked loads of times on the door. he come out with just towel and dripping wet. all i said was 'mate my son is the other side of that wall'. 'oh sorry i didnt realise' he said.

i am mortified that i have to face them again.

how do other people cope this this?

OP posts:
ellerman · 29/03/2009 23:07

I once lived in a flat and was woken at night by the woman two floors above!!! The flat above was empty. Eventually after months of being woken in the small hours I spoke to them when I bumped into them - I was tired and grumpy- and told them that I had managed to concieve two children without including them in my efforts. They didn;t come to the tenants meeting that week and sent of snotty letter about the controlling cow below. On teh bright side he was well into his 50s, so....there is hope for us all

kiddiz · 29/03/2009 23:09

I sympathise. We used to have some very vocal neighbours. I remember once siting in our lounge with my very prudish mil. She heard the screaming and asked if one of my dcs was crying. Her face was a picture when I explained it was our neighbours having sex.
We live in a very solidly built 1930s semi. All our walls are solid brick and quite sound proof so the volume must have been very high. We only ever heard them having sex. The were extremely quiet the rest of the time.

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney · 29/03/2009 23:24

a friend of mine taped the noises, took it round and said "would you like to have to explain this to my children?"
they were rather sheepish and did tone things down a bit.
worth a try?

onagar · 29/03/2009 23:25

Look I sympathise a bit about noise in general. If I had my way flats wouldn't exist as you do lose a lot of privacy.

But the fact is you have no right to expect your neighbours to stop just because you are embarrased by it. It's just life.

As for it making you feel sick, well if you have a DC you must have had sex at least once yourself. There's nothing wrong with it. It's a natural thing.

Claire2009 · 29/03/2009 23:28

its a natural thing, but respect and consideration of others is also
you done the right thing saying your ds was in the room next door...hope they keep the noise down!

MadamDeathstare · 29/03/2009 23:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Claire2009 · 29/03/2009 23:36

Sorry, just to add, the is at onagar.

Original poster
kylesmyloveheart · 29/03/2009 23:36

it made me feel sick because i was sitting there reading with my son and she was screaming fuck my arse harder, fuck my arse harder, fuck my arse harder at the top of her voice - do you get the drift! i dont even care when they keep me awake with theer music.

i dont hear anyone else. in fact the flats are so well made i never hear any of my neighbours up, down or beside me.

so yes i do expect them to respect their neighbours abit. just like the rest of us do!!

OP posts:
thumbbunny · 29/03/2009 23:37

bang on the wall or play inappropriate kids' songs really loudly in the bedroom next to theirs. Hopefully it will put them off their stroke!
And make them realise how loud they are.

Or you could shout marks out of 10 for artistic effort when they've finished. Or timing - "ooh, 2 minutes less than last time, must be losing the knack" - although I do realise that is inappropriate with your DS around

Claire2009 · 29/03/2009 23:37

Thats disgusting Kylesmyloveheart.
If they don't control the noise levels can you complain further up the line? Like council? Sorry this is happening, it's really not fair

Original poster
kylesmyloveheart · 29/03/2009 23:38

thank you. your absolutely right it was because ds was awake. i couldn't give a hoot about myself. well it does annoy me but i would never have gone and knocked is ds hadnt heard it.

OP posts:
Original poster
kylesmyloveheart · 29/03/2009 23:42

the funny side to it he must feel is has to try harder. he is very tall and very very skinny. she is well lets say extra ordinarily BIG.

she does the washing up with no bra/no top on and has blind pulled right up. we have to walk past her kitchen window to get to our flat.

OP posts:
Claire2009 · 29/03/2009 23:43

Ewww, thats not right on its own
ok, people do have the right to do as they want inside their own homes but respect & consideration again.....

thumbbunny · 29/03/2009 23:52

ech, that's just wrong. And surely indecent exposure, even if it IS in her flat. Isn't it?

Original poster
kylesmyloveheart · 29/03/2009 23:56

ahh thank you. havent known what to do really as never been in this situ before. also knew i wouldnt say anything unless it woke ds.

will keep an eye on it now and if she does it again will mention it to her.

will keep you informed. god im going to hate bumping into them now.

OP posts:
mrsblanc · 30/03/2009 00:09

I think you handled it well . I hope they tone it down now - surely they will?

Gracie123 · 30/03/2009 01:01

I'm not being funny, but our neighbours complained to the environmental health people about noise pollution because my dog sometimes barks to be let in from the garden.
If you can take action about that, surely you can get something done about her foul language. Make a complaint to your council.
Personally I'd put music on loudly to cover the noise. It's not ideal and will probably keep your son awake, but I'd prefer that to him hearing her.
It's one thing to enjoy sex, but knowing that your DS can hear it, she should be able to at least keep her vocabulary under control.

MadamDeathstare · 30/03/2009 01:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
kylesmyloveheart · 30/03/2009 08:17

it weird really. as the sink is directly in the window. so when you walk past her saggy boobs shes the only thing you can see.

will wait and see now if knocking last night helped. then if not will go down the council route.

they are not normal people anyway, but thats another thread!!

thanks everyone for listening.

OP posts:
Original poster
kylesmyloveheart · 30/03/2009 08:18

sorry saggy boobs was meant to be striked out.

OP posts:
ABetaDad · 30/03/2009 08:30

Happened to us last year when we temporarily rented a flat.

It always happened at 3 a.m. It went on for hours and hours and hours. We were convinced they were making a film or something. Always used to wake us up.

Then he obvioulsy broke up with his girl friend and it stopped.

Thank goodness for that!

BitOfFun · 30/03/2009 09:03

I like the children's music idea too. Something deeply unsexy like Wheels On The Bus...

mamadiva · 30/03/2009 09:23

Heads, shoulders, knees and toes is not a list of eroginous (sp?) zones and you automatically want to dance to it

Now I'd pay to see that....

lou33 · 30/03/2009 09:27

i would tell her if she cant keep the noise down to bite a pillow

OrmIrian · 30/03/2009 09:29

Yes! Kids songs would do it. About 13yrs ago before we had DC, we were out with some friends who had a young son. We had had a rare grown up night out and were on our way home in their convertible. So we decided to be really adolescent and turn the music up loud... to be regaled with the dulcet note of 'Nelly the Elephant'. It somewhat changed the mood...

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