Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want my dd to be able to keep a box of toys in the sitting room?

61 replies

LissyGlitter · 29/03/2009 16:06

We have two lodgers in our house, and when we went away for a week recently we came back to find that one of the housemates had moved all of my 2yo dds toys up to her bedroom-they were tidily stacked in two boxes at the side of the living room! I'm six weeks pg so don't really want to be traisping up and down stairs every time my dd wants to play with anything. Then again, the housemate isn't very smypathetic to me having kids, she won't let us have the pram up in the hall, we have to fold it up every time we come in, and when I told her I was pregnant, her reaction was to tell me off for leaving a pregnancy test "all over" the bathroom (I'd left the instruction leaflet ontop of some drawers) Am I being all child brained or should she have expected a little bit of mess when she moved in with a family?

OP posts:
beanieb · 29/03/2009 16:23

move the toys back downstairs, explain to her again about the rent situation and tell her if she's unhappy then to look for other acommodation.

SomeMightSay · 29/03/2009 16:25

When I was pregnant I was made redundant and therefore homeless. I was a pub manager so when they closed the pub, the flat I was living in above went too. I was 6 months pregnant and me and dp at the time couldn't afford much. We moved in with a 'friend' (term used loosely he was a regular in my pub), he had a 2 bedroom house of a very reasonable size and he was living on his own. He said we could have his spare room for a very small monthly rent and we could have full run of the house. So me and my pregnant belly, moved in taking dp and our dog with me. I left my pram up in the living room with a massive toy box, the car seat etc, all my girly things were all over the bathroom, me and dp spent all our time in the living room and there was never a problem, this guy knew we were a family when he agreed to have us there. I obviously checked with him when I put all my stuff around his house and he said it was fine. We always had open communications, but maybe I was very lucky. If he had told me to fold down my pram in his house then I would have done it no questions asked, but it was his house

SomeMightSay · 29/03/2009 16:27

OMG!!!!!!!!! Lissy Please tell her to get the hell out NOW!!!!!! £250 a month is nothing at all.
Please please please tell the cow to sod off and find someone else. At that price you definitely won't have any probs getting someone else.

EyeballsintheSky · 29/03/2009 16:29

What?!! £250 a month???? Kick her out and I'll live there. For £250 a month inc. bills you can leave toys anywhere you like!

Blondeshavemorefun · 29/03/2009 16:31

why on earth would you want to share your house with this horrible selfish girl?

why does she have the biggest bedroom?

i would give her notice and find a new person to share with - pref one who likes children

Original poster
LissyGlitter · 29/03/2009 16:32

We already have an empty room that we've had snce feb, going for the same price, and no-one will have it. We're meeting with the landlord on monday to try and get out of our contract so we can move away, in which case both the awkward girl and the nice bloke we have living with us will get thier months notices and will be gone.

She's clearly been spreading rumours about us, saying we are disgustingly untidy and stuff, as a few people have remarked that she is finding it hard to cope with our "slobbishness"-this being the washing up occaisionally left for a day or so and -shock horror!- raw meat kept in the fridge. She's not even a vegitarian, just a wimp.

OP posts:
Gracie123 · 29/03/2009 16:33

I totally understand that it is a worry to think you will have to pay for the extra room when you have a new little one on the way.
I guess it depends on the area you live in. Where we live you could charge twice that and still have the room filled before the end of the week, but it might not be so in your area.
I like to think I would tell her that it was my house and she was going to have to deal with a lot more when DC2 arrives, but in realisty I probably wouldn't have the guts.
Do you have a DP? Could he have a word?

squeaver · 29/03/2009 16:35

Oh dear I think this is the end of your friendship.

Original poster
LissyGlitter · 29/03/2009 16:37

Oh, I forgot to say...she leaves notes. On little post-its, whenever we are not completely tidy-ie if we have had a late night (obv before I was pregnant) and left the empty bottle of wine in the front room when we go to bed, the next morning there will be a note. When we got back from our week away and she had removed all trace of our dd from the front room (as well as removing all the throws from the horrible settees) she left a note saying "a tidy house is a happy house". I'm so glad shes away atthe moment, I could slap her

OP posts:
differentEggD · 29/03/2009 16:40

Ditch her NOW!

SomeMightSay · 29/03/2009 16:42

I would slap her!
I just can't believe you have the front to leave raw meat in the fridge. Maybe, put it on the floor outside cow-bags room with a post-it on it asking where best to keep it

Jacksmama · 29/03/2009 16:45

Please say you're joking... I'd want to lamp her!! Post-it notes???? I'd add on the bottom "you clearly have too much time on your hands".

I hope you can get out of your contract. If not, you need to have a house meeting to clear this up. How horrible for you!!

Nabster · 29/03/2009 16:51

She's away?

Change the locks. Can't you give her immediate notice on the grounds she is being completely OOO has broken her contract?

Original poster
LissyGlitter · 29/03/2009 16:51

I kind of feel a bit sorry for her, as i know she's jealous of me for having kids and being settled, and she does hate her job, but then she is qualified to be a teacher and won't do that job because it's "too much responsibility" so she can hardly moan when she has no money left over from her job in care! When I told her I'm pregnant, after she ahd told me off about the test, she then told me she thinks I'm really stupid for letting myself get pregnant again and she's jealous, and only then as an afterthought, added "congratulations"

OP posts:
Nabster · 29/03/2009 16:53

Stop feeling sorry for her. It isn't your fault she hasn't got the man and baby you have. Kick her out.

blossomsmine · 29/03/2009 16:57

The more you let her walk over you the more she will, she sounds that 'type' anyway

Get all the toys back and put your throws back...............bloody cheek

TheCrackFox · 29/03/2009 17:01

I'd leave post it notes around for her, specifically with the name of a therapsist to help her with her OCD.

£250 per month inc. bills is cheaper than when I was a student and that was 15 years ago.

SomeMightSay · 29/03/2009 17:04

Don't feel sorry for her. That last post you made shows she isn't your friend. The whole world doesn't stop because you're happy ffs.
I have always wanted children and when I was mc, my best friend was pregnant but said she couldn't come to see me because she felt guilty she was having what I wanted and couldn't have. I told her to stop talking rubbish, any friend would and should be happy for you regardless of their situation.
Oh, huge congratulations on your news btw. When's the baby due?

Original poster
LissyGlitter · 29/03/2009 17:08

November, and the other one is three in march I think it's a brilliant gap. I just wish I couldn stop feeling so sick!

OP posts:
Jacksmama · 29/03/2009 17:11

Oh yes, congratulations! So there will be 3 1/2 years between them - that does sound perfect.

Does the nice bloke who lives with you have any input on this?

SomeMightSay · 29/03/2009 17:13

That is nice. I was awfully sick with ds2's pregnancy, but fine with the ds1's. Odd.
I'm sure you will get all of this resolved soon though.
Really, don't put up with it.

RustyBunny · 29/03/2009 17:16

Your house isn't in Exeter by any chance? Because DD has just fixed up her student house for next year - paying £120 a week each for a 1/6 share in a house with all bills paid. £250 a month sounds much better...
If there's any student population near you, maybe you could try the agents who deal with them.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 29/03/2009 17:17

I sublet to a friend of a friend once. Luckily we were both slatterns so became best friends. I was warned that I might not be able to stand the sight of him after a week. He is my dd1's godfather now and I know toys or no toys he would jump at the chance of being able to live with me again. I maybe a lazy trollop but I can cook

He always respected that it was my house and never moved/changed anything ever without checking first. The same went for having friends over he always checked first.

I'd lay the ground rules down now, it is your house not hers. If she doesn't like the toys she can move out. Why not buy some really noisy toys and encourage let dd play with them at 6am in the mornings. She will soon get the picture.

NotPlayingAnyMore · 29/03/2009 19:10

"When we got back from our week away and she had removed all trace of our dd from the front room (as well as removing all the throws from the horrible settees) she left a note saying "a tidy house is a happy house"."
She shouldn't be surprised to find one on the bin bags of her clothes outside your house then!

"When I told her I'm pregnant, after she ahd told me off about the test, she then told me she thinks I'm really stupid for letting myself get pregnant again"
I hope she didn't have the cheek to tell you this if your DP/DH was present, especially considering his presumed part in your pregnancy!

Original poster
LissyGlitter · 29/03/2009 20:48

Jacksmama-Sorry, I meant she's three the march after the baby is born, she's just turned two now

OP posts: