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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think it was my inheritance, my money, so I can blow it how I please?

48 replies

MrsSchadenfreude · 27/03/2009 21:55

Left to me by my grandmother, to "buy something nice or enjoy myself." So I did. I went to New York for a long weekend, shopped till I dropped, saw friends, ate in some fantastic restaurants, drank gallons of champagne and too many cosmopolitans to count. Blew the lot (well nearly all).

So should this have been counted as "our" money and not mine, and should I have bought something sensible with it which would have benefited us all like new bikes for everyone, a new car or a couple of all singing all dancing imacs?

OP posts:
CarGirl · 27/03/2009 21:56

I think it depends on your family finances.

If you are in debt, desperate for a reliable car, at huge risk of breadwinner being made redundant then I don't think it was a good choice.

Also it should have been discussed with your dp and agreed upon.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 27/03/2009 21:56

Well, it's a bit late now lol!

Depends how skint you are - if you're up against it you should probably have paid the mortgage, but if it was "spare", and your gran said "Enjoy", it seems reasonable that you did.

5inthebed · 27/03/2009 21:57

YANBU, you done just what your grandmother requested. Sounds like you had a good time

Original poster
MrsSchadenfreude · 27/03/2009 21:57

No debt - I have just paid DFIL back the money we borrowed from him a few months ago.

God, it felt GOOOOOD to live!

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsSchadenfreude · 27/03/2009 21:58

5 - it was absolutely the best time I have had in years, I can assure you!

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsSchadenfreude · 27/03/2009 21:59

Although my liver could not have coped for much longer.

OP posts:
OldLadyKnowsNothing · 27/03/2009 21:59

Then your whole family benefits from having you back, happy and "rested".

snice · 27/03/2009 22:01

This is an interesting response so far.

There is another thread at the moment where a female MNetter is complaining that her DP has blown an inheritance on his own hobby.

The almost universal response has been "What a bastard/household monies should be shared"

spicemonster · 27/03/2009 22:02

It was in your grandmother's will so it would have been very wrong for you to have used the money to upgrade the washing machine or redecorated the hall.

Yay for your gran. RIP. She sounds very cool. As does your long weekend. Haven't done that for a very long time - am waiting until my DS is 3 before my sister and I do our NYC go crazy trips again!

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 27/03/2009 22:02

IIRC, on the other thread there was a need to spend on household things, though. Different situation.

GossipMonger · 27/03/2009 22:02

I think I would have shared it with the family and bought them each something they would love.

And then I would have taken DH away for the weekend and lived it up together.

Is DH annoyed with you?

Why the AIBU topic?

wannaBe · 27/03/2009 22:03

hmm I think it's a difficult one.

In our family we've never had his money my money, so if I inherited a large sum of money I would actually feel very selfish spending it all on myself.

How does your dh feel about it?

snice · 27/03/2009 22:03

other thread here

GossipMonger · 27/03/2009 22:04

But on the other thread they owe money to lots of family and he wants to blow £1500 on 2 remote controlled helicopters when she is struggling to keep the family going and he has no tax or insurance on his car!!

TOTALLY different situation!

BecauseImWorthIt · 27/03/2009 22:04

Don't know enough of your domestic situation to really comment appropriately though!

MaureenMLove · 27/03/2009 22:05

Depends on how much you blew. I was left some money by my nan last year and tbh, it was a pretty decent amount of money. I've shared it though. Not directly, by saying this is yours and this is yours iywim, but we all had a damn good Christmas last year and we are all having new clothes for a good holiday this year.

DH has said on numerous occassions, 'it's your money, you do what you want with it', but we come as a package now. Me, DH and DD. If I have the money, I want to share it with, and enjoy it with, my nearest and dearest.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 27/03/2009 22:05

Thanks snice - on that thread, there was a desperate need for car repairs.

KristinaM · 27/03/2009 22:06

i cant tell you what you shoudl / shouldnt do

for me, i woudl feel guilty spending it all like that. i would discuss with DH first and probably spend some on ourselves/the house and some on the kids / a holiday

but that's just me

I'm about to get a bonus at work and i will probably spend it on the house. i know i'm boring

Original poster
MrsSchadenfreude · 27/03/2009 22:07

I bought them (small) gifts from New York! I think that was enough!

Spice - my Gran was fab. She was just like Catherine Tate's Swearing Gran. My only wish was that she had spent the money on something to improve her life in the last couple of years, instead of leaving so much to her grandchildren.

DH not remotely annoyed with me! Why should he be?

OP posts:
PfftTheMagicDragon · 27/03/2009 22:07

I don't think you were necessarily being unreasonable but I could never have brought myself to do that, we are a family and it would make me happier to spend it together, any money is our money.

wannaBe · 27/03/2009 22:08

am not sure that the financial situation is really relevant though. Because you are essentially saying that "if we're hard up then the money is ours, if not then you can have it." it should be one way or another imo.

2shoes · 27/03/2009 22:08

yanbu
when I get mine I will by dd a V.O.C.A as my dad wanted her to talk and new carpets.
yours sound much more fun

GossipMonger · 27/03/2009 22:09

Not saying that your DH should be annoyed with you.....I was just wondering why it was in the AIBU topic?

You and DH dont think you were so why post there?

Pleased you had a great time though.

Original poster
MrsSchadenfreude · 27/03/2009 22:11

Gossipmonger - sour comment from friend made me wonder. I don't think I was BU, just wondered what others thought or whether it was just sour grapes.

Have some money left, have just noticed, so may go back again! Yay!

OP posts:
spicemonster · 27/03/2009 22:12

But the money was left to her to spend on herself. I'd be very cross if I left my granddaughter money to spend on herself and she ignored me. I'd haunt her!

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