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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be annoyed at dog owner's attitude?

92 replies

TaleofTwoCities · 27/03/2009 20:45

I was in the playing field today on the way over to the playground with ds 4 and dd2. I was watching ds who had gone ahead on his scooter and when I looked around at dd who was a few feet behind me she was being nearly knocked over by a young labrador type dog who was trying to lick her.

Now I don't mind dogs (despite being more of a cat person ) but I was annoyed at the attitude of the owner who arrived on the scene shortly afterwards. Instead of reprimanding the dog (who had clearly rushed at my dd, rather than me) he said 'oh isn't she used to dogs?' I said 'well not ones that nearly knock her over no'. He then proceeded to try and get her to stroke the dog and make friends with it.

Honestly, I would be worried if my dog were making a beeline for toddlers, however friendly intentioned. Just lucky for us that dd is fairly laid back and unlikely to develop a dog phobia. By the time the man had finished talking to us, I looked round and ds had disappeared! Luckily he was in the playground....it's a lesson to me anyway, to be more alert to dogs when I'm in dog walking territory!

OP posts:

herbietea · 27/03/2009 22:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

trixymalixy · 27/03/2009 22:07

Oh FFS freckleface. How the hell are you going to teach a toddler not to run away from a dog that is scaring them!!

MillyR · 27/03/2009 22:08

Yes, I agree Herbie. But even if you are in a field, as a dog owner, you have to accept that a child might come along on a walk with their parents and the dog shouldn't approach the child.

A field is still a public place, unless you are the owner of the field!

TheCrackFox · 27/03/2009 22:10

I live near a massive park and and there is a teeny tiny area cordoned off for the childrens' play park. One day some dogs were in the play park so, quite rightly, I told the owner he had to move them. He told me that "dogs can't read". WTF? I wish I had told him something witty in return but I told him to "fuck off".

FfreckleFface · 27/03/2009 22:10

I do keep them on leads.

Even when we are at the dog field, if there are children walking dogs then they have to stay on their leads.

BECAUSE of the attitude I have mentioned, that is being proven on this thread.

You make a good point, MillyR - it is difficult to find somewhere child-free to walk dogs off the lead.

MillyR · 27/03/2009 22:17

It is fairly easy for me to have mine off the lead because they don't approach strangers and I live in a non-touristy rural area, so on most walks we don't see any other people or if we do, they are walking dogs.

The problem is probably more in towns, where you have lots of groups- mountain bikers, children, dog walkers, skate boarders etc all competing for green spaces. There probably needs to be more green spaces in towns and cities.

trixymalixy · 27/03/2009 22:25

Freckle, you're the one with the off attitude on this thread.

FfreckleFface · 27/03/2009 22:31

trixy, my attitude differing to yours does not make it an OFF attitude.

Some dog owners are irresponsible, some aren't. Some children behave well around dogs, some don't. It's just the way it is, and what I am trying to get across is that it is incredibly difficult to exercise dogs properly, even in designated dog areas, when you are constantly scanning the area for children.

trixymalixy · 27/03/2009 22:37

You were compaining about the attitude of people on this thread!!

Teaching your kids not to approach dogs or stroke strange is fair enough, but your suggestion that kids should be taught to stand still when a dog comes bounding up to them and ignore their natural flight reaction is completely and utterly ludicrous.

The fault is 100% the dog owner's who has failed to either keep the dog on a lead or train it properly.

FfreckleFface · 27/03/2009 22:47

What I said was-

"The attitude on MN always seems to be that it is children who have the right to park space, and anyone wishing to exercise a dog should be confined to an isolated island. I always try to introduce children who show an interest to the dogs, and try and educate them in the right way to greet big dogs. I suppose I am always aware that being black and tan means that my dogs HAVE to be immaculately behaved, and yet people still act as though I am reckless in taking them out in public, letting them play with other dogs, and having them around my daughter."

This was the context in which I referred to 'attitude'. Maybe I should have said 'mood', or 'school of thought'.

And as for running away, in my experience, children have run away as soon as they see my dogs. They don't bound over unbidden, but if they see someone/thing running, they are always very tempted to chase. They can't help it. I have worked very hard on recall, and they always come back when called, but my point was that the dog thinks that the child is playing.

I am not trying to create friction. This is a difficult topic, and people here tend to jump on the 'ban dogs in public' bandwagon, which upsets me.

FairyMum · 27/03/2009 23:05

hy is it so difficult for dog-owners to accept that some people don't like or are scared of dogs. Surely you should be able to take your children to a park without the risk of dogs coming over? I only have cats. There are lots of people who are scared of cats. I don't get annoyed. I simply put my cats in another room when I have people over who dont like them. Why can dog-owners not be the same?

trixymalixy · 27/03/2009 23:09

Unfortunately that's because we don't notice the well behaved dogs and responsible dog owners, but most people have had a bad experience with an irresponsible dog owner, who doesn't control their dog and blames the child instead.

MillyR · 27/03/2009 23:15

Fairymum

Cats go out without any supervision, and roam freely. Many cat owners are irresponsible and let their cats out with no bell on, so they kill wildlife. Many cat owners do not worm cats, and they bury their poo in sand pits and gardens, where people catch toxaplasmosis.

Unless your cat is indoors all the time, or you walk it on a lead, it is presumably out in other people's gardens who don't want it there. I know people who have moved house due to other people's cats in their gardens.

Ultimately, we all have to try and be tolerant of cats, dogs and all sorts of other things.

You can't keep an active dog on a lead all the time, but they shouldn't run up to strangers, and if they do, the owner should reprimand the dog and apologise to the other person.

CountessDracula · 27/03/2009 23:57

oh god
there are 3,000,000,000 etc threads on this

literally

CountessDracula · 27/03/2009 23:58

and of course the answer is
no you are not unreasonable
but don't you have something more important to think about???

Aefondkiss · 28/03/2009 00:14

and your point is CD, because something has been said before it should never be spoken of again? I don't post on threads that are not interesting/relevant to me, and I use the hide button too.

op yanbu - I think we are all entitled to our opinion, having no dog, and some fairly awful experiences with dogs of late, I have a fairly negative opinion of some dog owners and their dogs.

walkinthewoods · 28/03/2009 06:37

Freckle

I appreciate your point of view and 99% of dog owners are responsible. I make a point of introducing any approaching dogs to my kids. I don't want them to be scared. Getting my kids to stand still if the dogs are getting excitable and scaring them, well could you at that age? And to not run away? Like the dogs, they are doing what comes naturally. Not allowing my child to run off ahead? She was doing nothing that could be 'bad behaviour'.

Ok what if my children were a dogs and bound up to a younger child and start licking its face and getting excitable. Me as a parent, would I say 'it's ok they won't hurt him' whilst small child is petrified? Or even in my case they woman said absolutely NOTHING. This is not responsible and that is the point.

This thread is about dog owners who can't/won't control their dogs. It is NOT the dogs fault. Its not about whether dogs have the right to open space (they do)

BTW it wasn't you in the park with your dogs was it? Because if you find that acceptable then you should be flamed.

Haribosmummy · 28/03/2009 06:43

It really does come down to compromise.

If you go walking in open fields / woods (not on a marked nature trail etc) then parents HAVE to assume they will meet unleashed dogs.

But, in a playing field / play area / public park where there is a play area, then I think kids should take preference and the dogs should be leashed...

But trixy - I just wanted to say: GOod on you about the cats, but LOTS of cat owners just let their cats out and that drives me MADDDDDD... Our next door neighbour thinks it's 'sweet' that their cats come into our house.

I don't. I think it's bloody annoying. I don't mind cats but I'm highly allergic to the damn things and I don't want them in my house, shitting in my garden (which these two things do CONSTANTLY) and getting into the garage to sleep (and SCRATCH) the car. I have to keep dogs and larger windows closed because the blardy things climb in.

I have considered sending my (35Kg) dog to charge around their house to see how they like my 'sweet' pet.. GRRR!!!!

Haribosmummy · 28/03/2009 06:44

doors closed!!!!

walkinthewoods · 28/03/2009 06:47

Sorry freckle
My last line was uncalled for....step away from the thread

scienceteacher · 28/03/2009 07:09

There are loads of places where children can go, where dogs are not allowed of the lead. There are fewer places for dogs. Whey do families want to take their precious children into doggy areas? Madness!

My dog stays well away from children - she doesn't want to get her ears pulled. She does like other dogs' bottoms, though, and will make a beeline for those.

Obviously children are more important than dogs, but it is people who own dogs, and they ahve rights too. They are allowed to exist, and use the parks they pay taxes to support.

My favourite dog walking spot is a lovely place - teaming with dog owners of all ages with their friendly dogs. It restores hope in human nature when complete strangers bid you good morning etc.

It's the cyclists or moreso, the tricyclists, that are the most irritating (and they aren't technically allowed to do their bit in our doggy area of the park).

OrmIrian · 28/03/2009 07:38

Where would you walk dogs if you can't take them to public areas?

SoupDragon · 28/03/2009 07:57

"Many cat owners are irresponsible and let their cats out with no bell on, so they kill wildlife."

Do you think we should catch, say, all the foxes and put bells on them too? Killing wildlife is all part of nature.

OrmIrian · 28/03/2009 07:58

I am just going to have a strict word with my cat soupdragon. She's only 6m but it's never to young to learn.

hercules1 · 28/03/2009 08:01

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