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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

New fence then new neighbours

143 replies

bluesky · 26/03/2009 15:06

We put in a new fence, good strong (pricey) sturdy one, as we plan on staying here for a good long time.

New house built, new neighbours in.

They have painted the side facing them.

As the law stands, that fence is ours, it's not her side of the fence apparently, it's "the other side of our fence". (I've been on a garden law website).

She is not permitted to paint it, attach anything to it, grown anything up it, without our permission.

What do I do? How do I say something, she is currently having huge garden works done, and I can see trellis and all sorts coming!!?

Help! AIBU to be pissed off??

OP posts:
tattifer · 15/04/2009 15:55

Gosh Bluesky, bet you wish you never asked!

It's hard when it comes to boundaries, small things can get all out of proportion very quickly. Is the colour one you could see yourself using - thus solving the seepage issue? If you went round and had a chat (or even better invited them round, drink in garden - look at fence etc). Painting a side of the fence is one thing but attaching trellis etc is something else again, but talking about this with neighbours before it happens is generally more successful than telling them after the event -as I'm sure you're aware. Just remember that it doesn't have to be a confrontation at this point - just a chat to see eye to eye.

Small though these things are they can eat away at friendships, even potential ones, if not sorted out, even if that means examining what compromise would work for you if you can't get them to agree totally.

Good luck

pointydog · 15/04/2009 16:08

this is not something to get worked up about.

Most people do not know garden law, which is quite encouraging really. What matters is neighbourliness and consideration

Casserole · 15/04/2009 16:19

Wow. What a blessed life you lead if this is what you have time to get stressed over.

Good neighbours are a godsend. Alienate them (for dong something which most of the country does and which BENEFITS you anyway) at your peril.

ShowOfHands · 15/04/2009 16:22

What colour is it? Is it an offensive colour? Monkey Sick Yellow for example? I wouldn't want that bleeding through to my side.

TheFallenMadonna · 15/04/2009 16:22

How do you know she would shy away from paying if her trellis damaged your fence? We and our neighbours have shared the cost of boundary repairs in the past.

Is it that you want her to erect another fence on her side of the boundary in order to grow things up/decorate?

Flibbertyjibbet · 15/04/2009 16:28

I think you are getting a bit worked up over something that if you make a fuss, could adversely affect your relationship with your neighbours.
Good neighbours are very hard to find! Some years back my best ever neighbours were moving to a semi, while they were waiting to move the other semi next door came up for sale and they asked if I would move to it I think they were joking...

You should try buying your first home with shared access, a communal yard, and a p (now xp) who gets worked up over every one exercising their full rights to use it! That was me 18 years ago so I'm sorry a bit of what someone does on the side of a fence facing them is not in the same league.

BCNS · 15/04/2009 16:48

YABU unless she has painted it dusky blue or lavender and the paint is dripping through on your side. Or screw and nail points come through on your side.. otherwise i really wouldn't worry about it tbh. If it's a good sturdy fense it will last years with plants growing on it.

if you don't want trellis.. just tell her .. you don't want it.

StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 15/04/2009 17:00

She's helping you maintain the fence. Or she could be really arsey and not paint it, not allow you onto her proeprty to paint it or creosote it and it will be rotton and fall down in 5 years. Then you'd really have something to be pissed off about.

YABVU.

chegirl · 15/04/2009 17:00

My neighbours put up a great big expensive fence. I am sure they love it.

It blocks off the sun to a part of my garden so my plants died.

I happen to like bright colours and so I painted 'their' fence orange.

I am the one who has to look at the bloody thing. I didnt ask for a 6 foot fence to be erected on one side of my garden.

I may paint it again this summer. I am thinking barbie pink......

Tabithacat · 16/04/2009 14:15

It is so funny what the members of different forums get uspset about - on the Garden Law website that the OP refers to, painting a fence that doesn't belong to you is the ultimate sin. Also on that website they hate cats with a vengence, whereas on here it's dogs...

louii · 16/04/2009 14:24

Please tell us what colour they painted it.

YABVVVVVU

louii · 16/04/2009 14:24

chegirl, i like your style

SoupDragon · 16/04/2009 14:27

Were you planning to trespass on their property in order to paint preservative on your fence when it needs it?

DesperateHousewifeToo · 16/04/2009 14:50

chegirl are you bluesky's neighbour?

KERALA1 · 16/04/2009 14:55

Gosh be glad this is the worst thing your neighbours do! When you have had truly bad neighbours, one can only dream of the worst transgression being a painted fence. In our last house our neighbours:

  • dealt drugs and smoked them in the garden (skunk scented sheets anywone?)
  • swore loudly and repeatedly in the garden so we couldnt use ours
  • had large aggressive dogs "for protection" which could and did scale the fence we erected and shat on our lawn
  • gangsta rap
  • loud drunken fights

I could go on. Just thank your lucky stars

Mung · 16/04/2009 15:01

Surely you should paint it a colour that they like then if it faces their garden. I dont see the problem with them painting it as long as it doesn't change your side of it.

I hope you manage to sort it out and that you can stop feeling so annoyed about it.

chegirl · 16/04/2009 19:53

louii Thank you (would you if you lived next door?)

desperatehousewifetoo I could be - bluesky do you wear vests and buy a brand new £200 swimming pool every summer, lie in it and cause me great distress when I happen to glance out of my upstairs window, then leave it up until it goes all mouldy and chuck it away?

If so - I am sorry I painted your fence

morningpaper · 16/04/2009 19:55

this thread is making me laugh soooo much

yabvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvu

morningpaper · 16/04/2009 20:00

I will swap you my neighbours who have very BARK BARK BARKY dogs and who listen to THE LOCAL RADIO STATION VERY LOUDLY in their garden

LOCAL radio WHO listens to that?

Could you perhaps put some sort of rolling screen thing on your side, to demarcate (sp?) the fence a bit more as your own?

The poster was right who said you always need to erect a fence within YOUR boundary to avoid this sort of thing

ADealingMummy · 16/04/2009 20:14

You are coming across as slightly territorial over a garden fence. Give it a year , and the fence has weathered , I doubt you'll even be bothered by it.

kaz33 · 16/04/2009 20:21

You have got it easy trust me - my neighbour ripped down a perfectly good fence, built a patio which rises three ft over our garden and then built a three feet fence so her 5 year old daughter can watch us as we play football in the back garden. Rant rant.

Now we have spent nearly a £1000 on trees and shrubs we have some privacy back.

And, she didn't think that was inappropriate if not darn right b**dy rude.

FannyWaglour · 16/04/2009 20:21

They have not caused criminial damage to your fence. They have treated with paint, which is going to make it last longer, as it stops the wood from rotting.

Are the poles on their side or on your side? According to the law, the poles should be on the side of the owners, so the nice side should face the neighbours. If your labourers did it the other way around "as it is your fence you might as well have the nice side" she migh simply be confused and think the fence is actually hers.

alicet · 16/04/2009 21:31

i can understand you being pissed off if the paint is seeping through to your side. And don't think it's unreasonable to tell her that as it is your fence (you are sure she knows this anyway) you'd appreciate it if she doesn't attach anything to it that might damage it.

She cannot unpaint it so no point causing potential problems with the neighbours over something that you can't do anything about.

I also understand the people who say you are lucky this is all you have to worry about as it wouldn't occur to me to give a shit what my neighbours did to a fence I put up as long as it didn't damage it. And even if when I bought a house I was told that a boundary was owned and maintained by my neighbour it wouldn't even cross my mind to ask if I could paint it.

So while I understand you being irritated I think tbh YABU about it really

Shorty620 · 04/07/2010 21:12

No, I don't think tat yrbu. If you paid for the fence then your have a right to be upset. Besides things that she does to the fence could damage the fence. By the way, if they do she is responsible. I would talk to her before it gets too over done...

HecateQueenOfWitches · 04/07/2010 21:19

I understand that you're cross. But you have to decide what is more important to you. A fence or good neighbourliness.

Because if you go to your new neighbours to discuss the legalities of the fence, at the very least they are going to laugh for years and you will be known as Mad Fence Lady. worst case scenario - it starts a neighbour war.

If not having your fence painted, or things put on it is more important to you, then of course you should say something to them about it.

And it's not for me or anyone else on this thread to decide for you what should matter more to you - only you can say which that is.