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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

not to offer to pay the man who took my cat to be neutered without discussing it with me

279 replies

powpow · 25/03/2009 20:14

basically my cat came home last night neutered.
We had no idea what had happened or who had taken him.
I called 11 vets in the area until I found the one where it was done.
A neighbor has been feeding our cat and took him to be done. My cat broke through this guys catflap to come home to us where he feels safe. He wasn't missing. We saw him Monday night and he came home tuesday night.

Most of the cats running around the neighborhood have no collar but I would never take them to the vet unless they were hurt!
he said my cat has been coming around for a few months. He never once tried to find out who he belonged to.
We had taken off his collar because it kept getting tighter and tighter on his neck and getting caught on the fences.
But he was very obviously well taken care of, groomed and happy.
We were waiting a few more months to neuter him and would have taken him to the clinic that does it for free.
This guy paid £280.
I don't think I should have to pay for this.
AIBU?

OP posts:
PinkTulips · 28/03/2009 19:25

babies.... what a daft comment.

Babieseverywhere · 28/03/2009 19:26

Sorry about the spelling errors in my posts, just nursing DD

SoupDragon · 28/03/2009 19:27

Where did I insult you? I am simply pointing out a fact. I suggest you go and spout your nonsense to my vet who told me to leave the speying and told me to let her out in the sun and fresh air.

She is clearly cared for and clearly not a stray given that she is wearing a collar with name and phone number and is chipped so yes, what you said was utter bollocks.

Peachy, I wish my car would roam free TBH.

Peachy · 28/03/2009 19:27

Um as another cat rescuer I actually agree with BE.

Sorry.

Please don't hurt me

Peachy · 28/03/2009 19:29

Ah is your catfemaleSD? not as at risk as a male provided you are happy tocare for any resultant kittens

Males fight and get hurt and lost so very often

Babieseverywhere · 28/03/2009 19:29

A vet recommend you let your cat out without altering him/her ? That is very surprising and goes against the current guidelines from CPL, RSCPA etc.

SoupDragon · 28/03/2009 19:32

Yes. And I'm certain he is more qualified than you or any general guidelines to say what is right for an individual cat.

Had someone ignorant who did not know her medical history taken her off to be done without my consent they would be the irresponsible ones and I would have been utterly fuming.

FWIW, she came into season for the first time last Friday (aged 1.1), was booked in to be neutered that afternoon and was speyed on Thursday. Luckily, she was in good health this week.

Babieseverywhere · 28/03/2009 19:33

SoupDragon, You have said in your previous posts to me that I was talking "utter bollocks." and wish me to stop "spout your nonsense". Neither of which I reckon are compliments, do you not agree !?!

But I digress, I would like you to consider altering your pet for his/her sake. Altered pets are healthier and live longer lives and not not create further problem litters of kittens (cute as they are) Please read a few pages on the net and have a serious think about keeping your beloved cat INSIDE and safe until you get them altered.

SoupDragon · 28/03/2009 19:34

My point iis ,that you can't know what is right without knowing a cat. No one should make major decisions for an animal without knowing whose animal it is (and I can't see how difficult it would have been for the OPs neighbour to find out). If they do make that decision, they have to accept the consequences (in this case the cost).

SoupDragon · 28/03/2009 19:37

Yes, well you said I didn't care for my cat. [shrug]

Babieseverywhere · 28/03/2009 19:39

I am glad to read your cat has been altered now

PinkTulips · 28/03/2009 19:41

ugh... that expression makes me sick to my stomach... 'altered'

call it what it is and stop trying to fluff it up because it just sounds bizarre. neutered spayed

altered sounds like you gave it a dye job and fake boobs fgs.

Peachy · 28/03/2009 19:43

LOL BE

Haven't had one for a bit, I only get the most severely hurt ones (sisters vet employers will only assist certain levels of injury if someone agrees to take the cast afterwards- that's where I am in reserve. Last little mite had lost a tail, leg, another leg torn badly and acquired (as we learned later) a heart condition from some twat giving him a kicking all before he was 3 months old .

Am ready for another now but I wait until the end of summer as the ones we get need us not to go away for a while- last one only survived becuase I wore him insie my top for ages (sister worked at secret wrold for a while, I just copied what she did with the bats etc).

I have an oldie rescued one too, someone sealed him in a box and left him in afield then baosted so my friend got him.

Babieseverywhere · 28/03/2009 19:45

Soupdragon, Please point to where I told you, you didn't care for your cat ?

I have re-read my posts and at no point have I said anything of the sort about you or the OP and your cats. In fact I even refered to your cat as a beloved cat.

LEMAGAIN · 28/03/2009 19:47

Soupy - you clearly have a female cat. This is NOT the case with male cats. I'm an ex vet nurse and i find it difficult to believe a vet would tell you not to spey your cat - not with the list of potential complications later in life.

To be fair, i have said, that as the guy chose to take the cat to the vets then he risked having to foot the bill. I would have been miffed if it were me, but i couldn't in any concience let someone else pay for something that is my responsibility to sort out. IF the OP had taken the cat to the vets in proper time, the man wouldnt have felt the need to neuter it. But seeing as the OP has NEVER actually told us how old the cat is, i don't think we can pass comment on how "ready" the cat was.

I think he was charged excessively, but thats how it is - you pays your money you takes your chance. He could have shopped around. He didn't. So, the OP would be within her rights to offer a lower price than what the guy actually paid out. I just think its despicable that she is not going to offer any money and has kept the sodding cat.

Lets just hope the cat didn't catch and spread FIV and FELV whilst he was out not being ready to be done!

nooka · 28/03/2009 19:48

I think that there is a difference here between a tom and a queen. It is very unfair to not neuter your tom and let them roam about. They have very wide territories, they fight, they get into other people's houses, they make appalling noises, they terrorize other cats and they spray. And that's before the issues about starting off more litters of unwanted kittens. A queen on the other hand can be kept in when in season, does not cause trouble for anyone else, and if she gets pregnant the owner will have to take responsibility. I still think it is a very bad idea to not spay a queen, just because there are already far too many cats, and many are getting put down because there are not enough homes for them all. But it is a different order of magnitude.

I would imagine that the scenario went something like this. The cat is always hanging about the garden of said neighbour (maybe it's very sunny, is in the middle of his territory, or has many birds/mice to kill there). The neighbour is friendly to the cat (in the garden). The cat is very friendly back. After a while the cat starts coming onto the house (as they do if you don't chase them out sharpish) the neighbour wonders if he has a home. The cat meows pitifully when there is food about. The neighbour wonders more, and starts to feed the cat (who makes a great show of never having been fed before and gobbles it all up, as cats do). After a while the neighbour feels a responsibility - this apparently stray cat seems to have adopted him. He thinks about what having a cat entails, notices hie still has his balls (or maybe spraying goes on) and thinks that he must therefore take him to the vet. The vet checks the cat for a microchip, agrees he is a stray and is very pleased that the neighbour is so responsible. Then they all discover the cat has another home, and a tricky situation ensues.

SoupDragon · 28/03/2009 19:48

TBH, her chances of coming across an unneutered male in this middle class enclave were very low (although I did harbour secret thoughts about the beautiful ginger and white I see occasionally... mine is ginger too.)

I don't think she's big or fit enough to have kittens though - she had a rough start in life having been found in the gutter as a wee kitten, a small bundle of mucous covered in fleas & ticks with eye and ear infections. It took about 4 months of antibiotics/steroids to get on top of her breathing problems and fit enough to be fully vaccinated (and yes, she went out not fully vaccinated too as the vet said the benefits of sun and fresh air outweighed any risk).

She still sneezes and wheezes and is still virtually size of a friend's 7 month old kitten at 1 year old.

LEMAGAIN · 28/03/2009 19:50

I think it would be OK to let a female cat out up until she is speyed. They come into season and its obvious so you can keep them in. But soupy, please consider getting her speyed - she is lovely by the way (sneaked a look at your profile!) if only to prevent possible womb infections later in life - this is a significant problem for female dogs and cats and can become life threatening very quickly.

Babieseverywhere · 28/03/2009 19:51

Peachy,

Grr, Sealing in a box, makes my blood boil when I hear what some animals go through

Our George (RIP) was abandoned in a multi-story carpark...scared of traffic and no teeth so he was lucky to be found

We have all rescue/ex-feral cats. My husband and I use to trap, neuter and release cats in our local neighbourhood (at our cost and sometimes local cat charties helped us out) We tamed the kittens, try having a poo when your bathroom has a kitten cage of cute but spitty, bitey kitten in it...I miss it

PinkTulips · 28/03/2009 19:51

[coughs] BE... remember this.... 'An entire cat left to roam, breed and fight outside is a stray and is clearly NOT being looked after'

think that might be what soupy means.

not every situation is the same so to state that an unneautered cat roaming free is clearly uncared for is utter shite.

LEMAGAIN · 28/03/2009 19:53

your female is ginger? Is she pedigree? Quite rare to have a ginger female cat [green]

LOOK - can we call a truce!! This thread has gotten a little out of hand.

SoupDragon · 28/03/2009 19:53

LEM, read the rest of the thread.

Had she by some miracle turned up pregnant, homing the kittens would not have been a problem. Especially if she'd hooked up with the lovely ginger tom I mentioned. [sigh].

Babieseverywhere · 28/03/2009 19:54

LEM, Soupy's cat is altered see her post at Sat 28-Mar-09 19:32:59

LEMAGAIN · 28/03/2009 19:57

Its not the kittens soupy, its the risk of complications later in life. You have every right to let your cat have litters and this does slightly reduce the risk of a womb infection. But honestly, as she gets older, i really think this is so important. Having lost several cats and dogs on the operating table due to womb infections - often by the time the animals get to the vets, the toxins make the anaesthetic a nightmare, but its essential by that time - tis very sad. Please talk to your vet about this - we absolutely do not reccomend leaving a female un castrated. Male cats that are entire, turn into horrible butch (well i quite like them!) fucker with buffallo necks and untold scars where they are out fighting every night - bit like some men really

SoupDragon · 28/03/2009 19:57

Apparently 25% of ginger cats are female (yes, I looked it up). Scout did spend her early weeks changing between male and female because no one could decide.

I do suspect she has pedigree blood. She's delicately boned and has fabulous markings in her back - she's spotted down her spine. But, she is a foundling of dubious parentage and most likely part moggy.

I nearly fell out with a friend over her. We both wanted her - I won. [smug]