In the last week DH has starting criticising my parenting. At first he said that I spent too much time on the computer. I explained that I took 5-10 minutes to check my email before breakfast and then spent 5-10 minutes checking it again while the children ate their dinner. The computer desk is next to the dining table so I'm right next to them. Other than that, I'm usually on it in the the evenings after they go to bed and while DH is at the gym. DH thinks that I should sit at the table with them the whole time and that I shouldn't let them watch TV during meals. I explained that if they didn't watch cartoons in the morning they would start fighting & arguing while I was in the shower. I let them watch TV at dinnertime because they're usually tired and grumpy and it saves a lot of arguments and tears. OK, not perfect I know but they do sit at the table. DS is 6 and DD is 3.
DH's answer was for me to get an iPhone so that I can spend the 5 minutes checking email at the table. Fine, I don't see what difference that makes but I've done it. I think he just doesn't like to see me at the computer for some reason. He gets irritated even at the weekend when I check my mail so I've been using the phone in the loo in the morning!
Today, Mother's Day, DH was taking the children to the park and asked if I wanted to go. I said that I would stay here and catch up on the laundry and a few other things so I wouldn't be overwhelmed in the week. His response "What will you regret most when they're off at university, not going to the park or not doing the laundry". Then he went off in a huff.
I'm a stay at home mum. I'm with the children all the time. DH works a lot and travels a lot with work. He never makes it home for dinner in the week and rarely is around at breakfastime. I feel a bit put out that he's being so critical when he isn't even here.
DH also says that I don't play with the children enough. I do spend a lot of time talking to them, doing homework, reading, cooking with them, doing things like painting DD's nails and playing dress up. When DH says play he means run around the park. I do take them to the park but they like to go off and play with their friends. I don't think they want to hang around with their mum.
I'm feeling really guilty. It's been ages since I was on mumsnet but this is really playing on my mind. I've bought the phone that DH suggested and I just don't use the computer when he's around anymore. Should I be running around in the park or trying to get DS to play ball games with me?? I just don't know what to think but my feelings are really hurt. I work really hard taking care of my family and the children are my world. Mumsnet was a huge help to me when the children were younger. I wonder is you guys can help me look at this problem clearly now. Thank you.