To think that mumsnet could be seen as complicit (sp!) in many over exaggerated m-day expectations.

[LEMAGAIN]

I mean, pity the poor guy who doesn't do expensive chocolates, not bought in the supermarket, expensive hand picked flowers, not from the petrol garage. A lie in to waste the morning, followed by a slap up meal in gastro pub Sans parents and ILs else the real star of the show feels upstaged!

Why do we expect so much?? I mean, shouldn't we all just be treated with love and respect EVERY DAY - a lovely card and a box of choccies is great, when they get older of course the home made ones are the best. But i could feel the collective seethe on here LAST NIGHT, as women wallowed in the self pity of knowing that their partner's wont actually understand that they do have to treat today like it is our birthday as we will be at the school gates tomorrow or mumsnet today comparing notes!!!

NOTE: THIS IS NOT MY "ACTUAL" OPINION, BUT ONE COULD BE FORGIVEN FOR THINKING IT

I got homemade cards, a bunch of daffodils, a bar of Green and Black's butterscotch (which I will share ) and french toast for breakfast cooked by DD1, all by herself.
And best of all, they let me choose where to go to for our walk.
I think I did really well.

Miggsie - love the bird book - what a sweet DD!

my baby is 4 months old. i did not expect a massive fuss to be made but i did not even get an acknowledgement from my dh, never mind a card. he has not forgotten, as he sent his own mother a card. it happens to be the anniversary of his dads death (3 years) so i knew he would not be on top form, but a "happy mothers day" might have been nice. when i eventually mentioned it (after to be fair, being a bit quiet, which he would call a sulk), he sad they (cards) were stupid gestures and not important. then he exploded "of all days why did i pick today t have a go - how selfish yada yada". i fear it was all a trap to have a fight that i fell right into. i even bought myself a card i was so upset not to have one n my first mothers day. i would normally fall into the "sentimental bullshit" camp but i am really hurt. row escalated into hm storming off with dd saying "see my lawyer". he has brought her home now but we are in an uneasy stand off.

Oh thank god, a sane thread. I don't get the whole "why aren't I being treated like a queen" sense of entitlement on other threads, but then I don't get 90% of what women on MN whinge about. For example I have always thought:

1. childbirth would be painful
2. small children wouldn't be grateful that you gave up your career/figure/independent existence etc in order to have them
3. being a parent would be really hard work for not a great deal of reward a lot of the time

so perhaps other people had much higher expectations and are disappointed with reality. I'm not, as mrsmrs said I am just grateful to have my son at all.

DH was gigging late last night, and again this afternoon. Therefore I got up early. This seems sensible to me. I made myself a cup of tea. I got dd up. We hung about. I took DH a cuppa at about 11. He went to his gig at about 2, just when dd and I were having lunch. Later we wandered down there and watched him perform. Then we came home. We are about to have supper, and then dd will go to bed. DH is quite tired having been performing last night and this afternoon.

DD made me a fantastic card with lots of pop-ups saying best mum. Then she sulked for a while because she couldn't have a friend over

I havent seen any 'why am i not being treated like a princess' threads
I've seen a couple that say things like 'i just want to spend a day as a family and have dh help the kids make a card instead of him lazing in bed all morning and then going to the pub'
and then everyone jumps on the Op and says 'you arent dh's mum - why should he do anything?' 'stop acting like a princess, its just a hallmark day' etc etc
all seems a bit harsh to me
if the day means something to me (and it does, we've always made a big deal of it with our mum) then i expect dh to respect my feelings enough to at least care a little bit about me being happy. a nice day with the family and him taking a slightly more involved role than usual is not a lot to ask is it?
anyone who has a dh that really cant be arsed with that, obviously doesnt get treated with a great deal of respect and thoughtfulness the rest of the time, so i'd be inclined to sympathise rather than slate them!

Well my DCs were lovely. DH was unusually jolly. And I managed to run 9.28 miles this morning. So yay! All in all twas good.

But I confess to a shameful disappointment not to have had some flowers. I love flowers. I always buy them for others. But DH has a mental block over them. I did get some knickers mind you

Well indeed, but that's not about Mothers' Day is it? If your DH or DP is so much of an arse that they can't be bothered to make you a cup of tea, Mothers' Day is the least of your problems. Moaning about such a man in relation to Mothers' Day is kind of missing the point. It's the other 364 days of the year such posters should be upset about.

Well I think I got the best ever MD present.... my night owl of a DH (he usually works 12-hr night shifts, 19.00-7am) got up at 7am on his day off, got our older DS up, dressed and breakfasted and quietly left me in bed with younger DS (now 4weeks old).

I was joking that all I wanted this year for my birthday (31 March) was sleep, so a 3 hour lie-in and a cup of tea on arriving downstairs really was the best present ever!

edward bear I think the ones that really annoyed me were the ones that said "all i got was ..." or that complained about their OH wanting to spend part of the day with their mums and complaining that it was "all about me, not her anymore". Like the MIL ceases to exist or something, and that she's angry that she has to share a part of the day. Just seems a bit selfish, that's all. But again, just my opinion.

I was thrilled that DS1 (5yrs old) actually wrote in his Mother's Day card all by himself ("I love you Mum, love DS1"). It was lovely and made me cry.
Am v proud.

namechangedforhelp - please don't take your DHs reaction personally, it is three years since i lost my dad and whilst most of the time im fine, there are times when i want the world to open up and swallow me. He was probably having one of those days. We all say spiteful things when we are hurting. I really hope you make things up - tis only a gesture and really, its for the CHILDREN to appreciate their parents. I would have quite liked to have received a homemade card from DD (3) but i konw that dp has had no time, and is also not great at the whole craft thing - but there is plenty of time for that.

Go and give your man a cuddle, swallow your pride (i would be miffed too) and be the bigger person.

i had a lovely day, it was ds baptism today, so we got up, went to church, went back to my mums for breakfast, then dd went to her greatgrandmas whilst i helped mum clean up the house. i picked her up and we built a bird house for the garden.
my kids are 2.5 and 5 months, they got me a tub of mini oreos (yum yum) and a funny joke book on how to kill slugs. i love gardening so perfect for me.
dh has been ill all weekend with d&v so i was chuffed that he managed to come to church with me.
i don't get why people make such a big deal of it, a token gift to say i love you mum should be enough

lemagain thanks fro your post but this is not simply about his grief. He bought me a card and deliberately witheld it in order to provoke an argument. I know its not a competition but my own dad died suddenly, in an accident , just 8 months ago when I was 13 weeks pg. I know hwat it is like to feel the pain of loss but I do not take it out in anger on him. He does to me.

a card frm my baby, even if it was written by him, would have meant the world to me. He knew that, and it was the deliberate witholdng of it to provoke that hurts me so much.

We don't "do" Mother's Day, or "Father's Day" etc in this house, but then I am blessed with a DH who loves me everyday, regularly does more than his fair share of the housework (very often after working all day will cook dinner then do the bulk of getting the DSs ready for bed), will take me out for nice meals regularly, and will randomly buy chocolates or flowers.

So what if I didn't get a huge fuss made of me yesterday? It's only one day, and I wouldn't swap my Dh and all he does for me and the DSs through the whole year for one day of "Queen Bee-ness".

YANBU.

I had a wonderful day yesterday, I got a lie in - a proper one till past 9!!! Then I got cooked breakfast in bed and cards brought up by ds 2.10 and me and the kids ate breakfast in bed with dd 1yr trying to jump on my beans! Then dh drove us out to a local farm where they make their own ice cream. I was so touched that dh had gone to the effort as he took ds into town first thing to buy the stuff for the breakfast etc. The best bit was seeing the kids with him trundling up the stairs! It was a magical day and I dont think there is anything wrong with dh making a fuss of you or even just doing the things you do every day without thinking.

SImilarly I try and make fathers day special for him - why not celebrate each other a bit?

namechanged I have posted on your other thread

thanks lemagain I have responded - better get a comfy seat though, i started and couldn't stop...sorry.

i think i out typed you