AIBU to think DP shuold realise that mother's day applies to me now?

[namechangerforareason]

Aaarrggh!

Background: after TTC for 8 years had a beautiful boy in November, never ever thought it would happen so both over the moon.

Went to my Mums today to see her so I could spend my first mothers day with DP and DS, just asked DP what his plans were re his mum, he said he was going up there tomorrow with DS so she can spend mothers day with them both and it shouldnt be a problem as my mum has seen DS this weekend!

My DPs mum is a witch, a horrible horrible person who tries to put me down constantly, to the extent that DP has spoken to her about it and he even screens his calls so he doesnt need to speak to her. However he does give her her place and visits on occasion and always at special times of the year.

He hasnt mentioned that its my first mothers day and when I asked jokingly if I could spend time with our son on mothers day he replied that I have him all week he thought I might like a break! I just laughed and thought he was joking but he is serious. Im really hurt he hasnt remembered even though last year when I was pregnant he got a fathers day card and gift from the bump!

I have told him its my mothers day too but he just cant seem to realise what that means, I even asked DS when DP was here if he had got mummy a card for mothers day but still nothing!

AIBU to expect that he realises or even the witch in law asks what his plans are for me?

Regular but name changed for this.

You know what? When DCs are tiny, they barely have an awareness that you are a separate person to them, let alone that you are their mother and that there is a special day just for you when you are spoiled by them.

For your baby, it's just a day like any other and he'll be tired and grizzle at some point and probably puke some milk on you and then you'll try to go to the loo and he'll scream blue murder because he wants you to hold him ever so slightly to the left which will give you a dead arm....

What I'm saying is, even if your DH decorates the whole house with I love my Mummy tat, the day very probably won't live up to your expectations because (particularly as you're still on maternity leave) it will be largely similar to every other day as he'll still need milk and his nappy changed etc.

Of course you want to see your DS on your first Mothers Day, and you are not BU at all to expect your DH to organise a card and a bunch of flowers, but don't set yourself up for disappointment by building it up to be this momentous day, 'cause it won't be.

I don't think it's worth turning this into a big deal, because in reality what would you really be doing that would be so noteworthy if DH doesn't take DS off to his mums?

To echo other posters: just make the most of a bit of well deserved "me time".

In an effort to make you feel a bit better about it ... he screens his mothers calls, he has talked to her about her attitude to you. Then you say he sees her on 'special occasions'.
Can you comfort yourself with maybe thinking this means that he is there all year for you and your ds, and just gives her the token visits on days when she thinks he should visit, rather than because he simply wants to?
i don't get mothers day stuff from the boys via dp because he just forgets stuff like that, but he is such a lovely man and great dad that I don't mind - one day of 'tokens' means nothing when I have 364 of them.
However he is going to his mums tomorrow because she expects it and will have a strop if he doesn't go. She doesn't care so much what he is like all year round as long as there is some big flowery thing on mothers day to show off to the neighbours.
But she'll be disappointed and crabby because when he arranged for us to go, he'd forgotten its mothers day and will be arriving without flowers etc.
I suggested that my mothers day treat was for him to take the children without me...

freckleface, no I'm not the OP - my dh wouldn't dare!!

I think maybe you have a different perspective when you've spent years dreading Mother's Day and avoiding card shops because you find it all so upsetting because you think you are never going to be a mum. When you finally achieve your dream you want to be the most spoilt mum in the world (and I don't mean materially) on that day because you thought it would never be you. Does that make sense?

I have two opposing opinions.

You and your DH an dc are now a family. You are the mother in this family, ergo, mothers day is about you.

Other one. You have a (usually) loving dh, beautiful child. A lovely family.

As I am a single parent, whose child is not here I am slightly inclined to say count your blessings and grow up a bit.

So, how did your day go OP?