AIBU to be sad and shocked by this article?

[LittleDorrit]

Have just been reading this:

www.guardian.co.uk/society/2009/mar/18/child-poverty-labour-eradicate-promise

and I am shocked by the conditions this family is living in, but in particular how little/what sort of food they are able to afford.

It's not so much an AIBU issue, but just wondered whether others in similarly difficult circumstances think this is typical, or whether the mother could try to buy other types of food (e.g. rice, lentils, etc.) or perhaps be able to afford to spend a bigger proportion of her budget on food... £20 is very little.

www.healthystart.nhs.uk/

you can get free fruit and veg and milk on the nhs if you are on benefits. i only know this as i saw someone paying for their fruit with them at the supermarket the other day. I think she could be living in less poverty than she is if she claimed everything she was entitled to and was fully aware of all oppurtunities available to her..but given her lack of education and lack of anyone to help, she just struggles on. Its so sad that her children will grow up and almost inevitably repeat this cycle.

I do think its advisable to not have children til you can afford them though...but again, i know it takes education to make informed choices about contraception and lifestyle etc, which again, she didn't have

www.healthystart.nhs.uk/

you can get free fruit and veg and milk on the nhs if you are on benefits. i only know this as i saw someone paying for their fruit with them at the supermarket the other day. I think she could be living in less poverty than she is if she claimed everything she was entitled to and was fully aware of all oppurtunities available to her..but given her lack of education and lack of anyone to help, she just struggles on. Its so sad that her children will grow up and almost inevitably repeat this cycle.

I do think its advisable to not have children til you can afford them though...but again, i know it takes education to make informed choices about contraception and lifestyle etc, which again, she didn't have

wow I'm at home all day too, my kids wear me out, and DS1 is going through a continual difficult stage where my patience is often snapped............can I get this free nursery care for DS3 to give me a rest too

FAQing lovely - i think you can, but only if you can't afford to pay for it yourself!

"I do think its advisable to not have children til you can afford them though.."

and how much should one be earning (or in her case her DP be earning) before one can "afford" children..............emmm how long is a piece of string??

I don't mean it in that way'unless yuo are earning x amount, don't procreate' i just mean, having children is stressful, expensive and tiring, as well as the best thing most of us will ever do and absoutely wonderful, so it is, well for me anyway, important to not raise my children in a house where money is a constant concern and where they don't haev enough to eat and hit their head on a concrete floor. If you can just work for a few years and get yourself sorted, you are more likely to provide your children with a stable home and you are more likely to enjoy the parenting experience as you won't be constantly watching the pennies. though as I say, this is not at all a criticism of that girl in the article, I doubt she had sufficient education to make any kind of informed choice about her own reproductive capability or when or how to use it.

also if 'shit happens' and you have some money in the bank, a job, a home with carpet, some knowledge of your entitlements to various beenfits, the capacity to go out and get what your children need, youa re more likely to be able to cope. I am stating some facts, not criticising anyone.

but her DP had a job - he was earning money - iirc from the article she'd started training as a nurser assistant then fell pg, as she says "life doesn't always work out the way you'd hoped" (ie sh*t happens )

YEs I really think I am a better parent because I have a carpet....what??? of course I don't! I don't think i am a better parent full stop. my kids are better off but I don't know how I'd fare if I had her upbringing and her life. I do know though, that if she did not have children yet, but had children say in 5 years when she was 29, and had five years work under her belt, maternity leave, networks of support, some self esteem, and some money to buy fresh fruit and veg, both her and her kids woudl eb better off. I am not saying 'stuff her, if she went and got preg its her own fault she should have waited' - no way am i saying that, i am in awe of her budgetting and patience and total self denial in order todo what little she can for her kids, also that she does have some get up and go and is studying and trying to get her and her kids out of this mess. ALL I am saying is that had she better sex education and more availabel role models and people around her to teach her to aspire and aim to have a career, have a job, that there was more to life than getting pregnant very quickyl after leaving school, then she would be better off,. I am essentailly arguing for better sex education and better education all round. I am on her side!!!

"ALL I am saying is that had she better sex education and more availabel role models and people around her to teach her to aspire and aim to have a career, have a job, that there was more to life than getting pregnant very quickyl after leaving school, then she would be better off,.£"

but she did have aims, she started training to be a nursery assistant before she fell pg with her first.

lol Fio - I was worse off at 29 than I was at 21

freat. good for you. obviously this lady is fine and had her kids at the optimum time and in fact hopefully she is now pregnant with triplets.

i wasn't saying just by the passage of time, everyone is bvetter of at 29 than 21....maybe I am really weird, as soon as I found out I was pregnant (at 18) I got the highest paid job I could and worked and worked as much as possible, and saved, and at some points had two jobs, as did dp, so that we had enough money for when ds was born. we saved up a deposit on a flat, we moved in, we had a very reasonable and lovely standard of living, we lived near a park, we had enough money, it was great. I know why I did this and she didn't - I come from a more educated family, i had aims, i didn;t want to live in a shit hole and i wouldn';t accept it for my child, i had the education and skills to get a job, i live in london and there are plenty of jobs for me to get - i know that the differences are not because i am inherently BETTER than her, but becasue i am by a stroke of luck BETTER OFF than her.

also what is this fixation with a table?

I got the highest paid job I could and worked and worked as much as possible, and saved, and at some points had two jobs, as did dp, so that we had enough money for when ds was born. we saved up a deposit on a flat, we moved in, we had a very reasonable and lovely standard of living, we lived near a park, we had enough money, it was great.

You did all that and put it down to luck ?

You make your own luck in this world.

FAQinglovely - you have a lot of patients and make a lot of sense but dont let them grind you down

I cant read the last page since posting last night I can't find myself

''I do think its advisable to not have children til you can afford them though''

yeah, in a perfect world.

I can just about afford my children. But I conceieved twice while using contraception. Stuff happens sometimes.
Sometimes life is what you make it, Sometimes it's life which makes you.

Sometimes we all need a helping hand, not bigoted bile and judgmental bitchiness.

let who grind me down

Sorrento do you have self-esteem issues or something?

It is considered a bit vulgar to boast loudly in company about how well you've done in life.

And a website like this is virtual company, so to speak.

To Bella - Do I ?? lol
It's not my post I'm quoting somebody else, but I don't think she has issues either since you're asking.

And people big themselves up in real life and on internet forums regularly it's not poor taste at all.
Do you have tall poppy syndrome ?

Just because people do it regularly, doesn't mean it's not poor taste.

Surely you wouldn't do this in RL? Do people really have conversations like this? Along the lines of "look at her - isn't she doing badly - aren't I much better?"

It is Little Britain I tell you.