AIBU to be sad and shocked by this article?

[LittleDorrit]

Have just been reading this:

www.guardian.co.uk/society/2009/mar/18/child-poverty-labour-eradicate-promise

and I am shocked by the conditions this family is living in, but in particular how little/what sort of food they are able to afford.

It's not so much an AIBU issue, but just wondered whether others in similarly difficult circumstances think this is typical, or whether the mother could try to buy other types of food (e.g. rice, lentils, etc.) or perhaps be able to afford to spend a bigger proportion of her budget on food... £20 is very little.

Well said LittleBella.

Some people just like having someone to feel superior too, I think.

"That was the worst part for me. The judging. I could easily go without food to see that my dd had what she needed. It was the looks that I got when I pushed her 2nd hand, but v posh looking pram into the PO to pick up my money."

oh god yes the judging - it irks me no end.

Yes I have a Quinny for a pushchair - it was given to me for free by a friend when DS3's pushchair collapsed with him in it.

I have a flat screen monitor and very nice computer. Screen was given to me, and the computer was built for me using workable bits rom my old one and a few new bits by a close friends dad - he did it cost price for me (and I paid in chunks).

I have lovely furniture in my house - because DH let me keep everything when we split up. It was all worked hard for

I have a Dyson - thanks to the MN trial last year.

and horror - the DS's have a Wii which they got for Christmas from me. Bought on interest free credit using money a friend was paying back to me from our holiday last year - which I paid for out of a small amount of inheritance I received when my Gran passed away.

But it's so easy to judge isn't it - how can she afford all that......

I am working so would have to pay to see a solicitor, which I can't afford.

But I didn't know they helped with cases like that. Yes it was the CSA. I will keep that in mind and if I am ever in a position where I can afford a solicitor he will be hearing from them.

rebe - fair enough - but to be fair to the girl in the article - she is doing a computing course and improving her literacy at her local community centre - so she is doing something to try and help herself in the long term.

if hard work leads to financial gain and an easy life people have the right to feel good about themselves...success isn't a crime you know.

I'm not referring to you Sorrento, or anyone in particular.

It's more of a mantra for myself and one which I wish the career benefit claimers who sit around moaning that the governement doesn't do enough would take on board.

Of course there will always be exceptions and people who are genuinely stuck in a rut... but look at all the things people have achieved in their lives, surely get out of a difficult financial situation and off benefits can't be an impossible one?

Hate to use a cliche but it's relevant and I'm brain-dead so lacking in imagination; it took Thomas Edison something like 120 failed attempts before he finally invented the lightbulb, when asked why he didn't give up he replied "why would I do that when I found 119 ways not to design the lightbulb"... or something to that effect.

The reason this thread caught my eye and made me respond was all this up in arms isn't it dreadful, that poor woman etc irritates, my opinion is that it's misplaced and not very helpful to her (unless you are going to send her some money). No it's not nice, but it's not the end of the world, she hasn't lost her legs, or her sight or worse... she's took a hit in her financial and personal life. The system has saved her from the streets and poverty has stabilised her family. She can get out of this situation if she tries - yes, very hard over a long period of time.. but if you've got nothing, you've got nothing to lose.

Goodnight everyone... pleasure debating with you and hearing differnt perspectives.

FAQ I have a Quinny that I'm about to donate to the Salvation Army - I couldn't give it away!!

MolliO - I know - they're lovely aren't they. Couldn't believe it when my friend got it out her attic and refused to accept anything for it at all.

Unfortunately it's currently sat in the garage waiting for me to fix a puncture in the back wheel (again). So I'm using an extremely rickety old Graco Citi Sport that I'm sure is also going to collapse (or more likely lose a wheel) at some point in the very near future - think I'd better get that Quinny Puncture sorted

Being hard working is a very admirable quality which deserves to be applauded. Anyone who has worked hard and done well has every right to congratulate themselves.

But why does being successful = having a go at people who are worse off?

Surely you'd be thinking wow, I'm so lucky! Thank god I'm not in her situation?

SSSS, I started my solicitors letters when I was pregnant and working and quickly ran out of funds to keep up the fight, if you get tax credits though I think you can still get legal aid up to a certain threshold, worth investigating.

hey Sorrento - did you see my post about my HB on the DSS thread? You know I said it should have been in my account today - woke up really early and panicked like sh*t when it wasn't there.

Then went back to sleep for a bit, slept in, rushed to get the kids to school (late ) got home and then realised today is not Thursday so therefore there was no chance the money would be there today

I will look into that. Thank you

Ha ha I bet you were panicing though after that thread !

Complete off thread but FAQ get the inner tubes changed to puncture proof (can't remember proper name). Any bike shop will do it and it won't cost much.

I was - big time. Walked back from the schools doing calculations in my head as to which other bills I could delay paying to ensure that I had the money together for the rent. Was thinking about taking cash out of my credit card (which I've not used for months and which the balance is going down really nicely now) and all sorts.

God knows why I thought it would be in today - as really I should have known it was Wednesday as I had the after school service this afternoon and that's always on a Wednesday (and has been for 3yrs lol).

what a though provoking article

i havent read any of the rest of this thread, but what struck me int he article, was how loved the chidren are. and how capable a mother they have. in that way, they are far from being poor.

TBH I have no idea what day it is monday to friday, only the weekends register these days
Step away from the credit card, cash advances will cost you a fortune, you'd still be paying that off from beyond the grave.

Has Dh claimed his mortgage interest do you know ? It should be automatic but worth finding out for your own interest should house prices go up again.

janos....i'm afraid i'm a bit of a snob..i wouldn't last a minute on a rough council estate surrouded by people who have pitbulls for pets...i'd rather die....but at least i admit it.

oh I know they cost the earth - that's why I was panicking - I've been doing really well reducing the card (that had been previously been maxed out although most of that done when DH and I were still together) ) so that I can then keep it for what I originally got it for - as a "contingency" for emergencies that I didn't have the cash for. I'm much better at managing my money now so know I'll be able to stick to it.

Was getting most upset at the thought of screwing it all up in order to pay my rent on time LOL.

You would survive because you'd have to but you'd learn to keep yourself to yourself and bolt the door at night.

Yes, Stitch. I too thought the mother showed herself to be extremely capable and caring. She could teach others a lot.

Yes, she elected to leave education. Mistake. We all make them! And perhaps she came from a background that didn't value education so perhaps she doesn't either.

Or having children young is the norm where she's from. How many of us break out from the norm of our surroundings? Middle class children tend to go to university because that is their norm.

"By Janos on Wed 18-Mar-09 20:08:43
Bloody hell, aren't there an awful lot of horrible people on MN nowadays!

I notice a few of the naysayers are SAHMs, who are presumably supported by their husbands and therefore don't earn their own money?"

funny how some people always have to bring sahm/wohm into it isn't it?.

fyi yes i am a sahm,because i personally don't agree with paid childcare before the age of 3, my choice, my dh works fulltime and is in his last year of studying to become an accountant, he should be qualified by the end of the year.
now we both know there is no way he could work FT and study in the eves and weekends if it wasn't for all the work i do in the home.
it is a team effort, working together for our family unit.
and if he wasn't intelligent enough to become an accountant he could do something more practical like become a plumber etc.
whats wrong with earning a trade these days

I left school without 1 single gcse.

we are equal, even before we had dd and i was the higher earner we where equal, our money has always been ours.

and yes he also has worked his way upfrom the bottom as clerical assistant

tell you what aswell, you get alot more respect from the people you work with too when they know you really know what it's like because you have been in their shoes.

we have had no support from our families, i had a bad childhood, even my own mother used to tell me i was stupid and hit me.
as for the school i went to, well don't get me strted on that!
but you know what, i'm an adult now, i say what happens in my life, and it feels damn good that what we have is what we have built.

as for the question of how she can work with 2 children, well personally i would not have had 2 children before i felt i would be in a position to support them, but that's my choice.
i would think in htis case she would be better to wait until the children are in school.

Quattrocento put it better than me with
"But standing back and looking at this in a detached sort of way - she made the choice not to continue with education which is freely available. She made the choice not to work hard at a job. She made the choice to have children in a situation where she was unable to support them. All of those choices were hers."

i just think it's a massive cop out to say just because someone has no education they cannot work hard and make a good life for themselves

but then some people do like to make these people on benefits etc feel they have no hope.

"as for the question of how she can work with 2 children, well personally i would not have had 2 children before i felt i would be in a position to support them,"

but the father (who's since buggereed off) worked

I think that's fair enough daftpunk! I imagine lots of people who live them don't like them that much either, mind you.

I live on one btw..(never thought I would) no pitbulls round here though, mainly staffies

Actually, it's not that bad. My flat is warm and comfortable, I have decent neighbours and we have a roof over our heads. Things could be an awful lot worse.

daftpunk, have you been going through my posting history and decided you have it in for me?

Don't believe all the stereotypes you read about. Yes council estates can be grim. But the majority of people living on them are nice people. They have a better sense of community than most middle class areas imo.