AIBU to be sad and shocked by this article?

[LittleDorrit]

Have just been reading this:

www.guardian.co.uk/society/2009/mar/18/child-poverty-labour-eradicate-promise

and I am shocked by the conditions this family is living in, but in particular how little/what sort of food they are able to afford.

It's not so much an AIBU issue, but just wondered whether others in similarly difficult circumstances think this is typical, or whether the mother could try to buy other types of food (e.g. rice, lentils, etc.) or perhaps be able to afford to spend a bigger proportion of her budget on food... £20 is very little.

We grew up poor. My dad left us. Not much my mum could do about it apart from study for a degree and become a uni lecturer. Our lot eventually improved but it was down to the long term career goal of my mum's.

How many people can afford to think long term when they're deep in the every day grind of poverty? They just can't. There is no way out for most.

I think there's a lot of other people living in a house of cards right now and for whom this boring, relentless, grinding poverty trap will very soon become a reality.

It's not on in our 'civilised' society. And it's really nothing to do with being thick. I think it's really really thick to use that as a reason for the type of poverty described in the article.

Of course studying with a baby is no picnic, but forgive me FAQ using you as an example but if i remember correctly your youngest isn't a baby is he ?

Most students have challenges, finding a roof over their heads, being away from home for the first time, it's never plain sailing and being on benefits at least to a point you know you aren't coming out with £20k of debt hanging around your neck before you even start.

My DH would love to retrain as a GP, he'd be brilliant but there's just no way as he'd be 67 before he'd reap the rewards.

sorry went to put DS2 and 3 to bed.

No I don't work - but I am the church organist and heavily involved with stuff there that does take up a fair chunk of my time - thankfully all stuff I can drag the DS's along to.

Monday - had rehearsal and setting up for our after school service - was there 2hrs.

Tuesday morning - Took assembly in the school (the school are excellent and let DS3 go off and play in the reception classroom while I'm busy doing that).

Tuesday night I had a 1 1/2hr meeting to plan the hymns for April

Was at church this afternoon from 2.30 until 5pm

Tomorrow I play the piano for a group there

Sunday I've got morning and evening service to play for.

Next week at some point I've got a choir rehearsal to take plus another meeting here.

So no - not working, but I certainly don't sit on my arse all day everyday.

my youngest is 21 months.

though it should be said I'm often tempted to stick a couple of ready beds in the vestry for me and the DS's to sleep on on weeks like this one

I studied full time and had to work 30 hours, almost full time as well in the evenings/weekends too in order to support myself, neither is harder than the other just different kinds of challenge.

Im a full time student ( and work part time) I find it incredibly hard, and I have DP to support me, take the kids out when I need to get work done etc.

I have massive respect for any single mother who manages to study, massive respect. I dont know how they study as single parents. I know I couldnt

Reading this thread has shocked me, but I should have expected it. I grew up poor, not to the same degree as the article describes, but I've sadly discovered that people who haven't been there don't understand what it's like. My mum did a degree when I was a kid and it was tough going but it did mean she could get better paid work and our lives changed. She had never imagined being poor, her parents were well-enough off but threw her out (they didn't like my dad - his hair was too long!)without a penny and never offered any help of any kind over the years.

I think it's the little stuff we take for granted that people don't realise just aren't options if you have no money. You just live a life stripped of choice. It limits you in so many ways.

oh god QM don't say that - I'm not "working" at the moment, and have only just started my course. By the time I'm finishing my degree I'm sincerely hoping to be working, so working, studying and children.

and someone please tell DS3 to stop mesing around in his cot and go to sleep so I can get on with the housework now so I can study later (he doesn't wake up if I'm making noise with hoovers etc, but won't go to sleep and throws a hissy fit if I start when he's still awake).

Good luck FAQ.

Stewie you are talking about attending Uni - I was talking about doing an OU degree at home with a child.

Oh and grants - hollow laugh, how old are you ?

people on here get SO hung up on education, it is not the be and end all in life.

what's wrong with working in asda and working your way up from the bottom to the top.
she could start as a till assistant and end up a regional manager.

not having aa good education doesn't mean you can't work hard and get on in life.

the people that say oh she has no choices in life etc etc, are just keeping her down really.

that's how they keep people down anyway isn't it.
take away there hope.

she could learn any trade even if she is not academic.
that is no excuse.
imo.
and ime.

Oo er, I was going to keep away from this thread and then saw someone has had a pop at MOI! (Rolls up sleeves...)

Mindalina - i think you may have misinterpreted my post. We ARE batting for the same side you know!

I was disgusted by the judgemental tone of certain posters who have no idea of the realities of this woman's life.

I was merely IRRITATED by:

1. suggestions that she should use free internet facilities at the library to access freecycle. Freecyle requires easy and regular access to a PC - quick email replies required and all that. No car means she can't collect. Many Bristolians are scared of driving around Hartcliffe and would be reluctant to deliver.

2. Grow her own veg when she lives a flat with no garden;

3. Get an allotment when her budget clearly shows she would be unable to afford equipment/seeds etc.

All well meaning and superficially sensible suggestions. But there is a fine line between naivity and ignorance.

As for the oven chips thing - cooking from scratch requires some basic knowlege of cookery which an awful lot of people don't have nowadays. It might require spending money on basic kitchen equipment, cooking oil, condiments etc. Expensive pre-paid meters can mean choosing between cooking a meal every night or keeping your kids warm.
Dragging bags of spuds around on the bus with 2 small kids in tow is bloody hard work (and as Riven says, horribly expensive in Bristol.)

As it happens, I am a food Nazi in my own way. We are vegetarian, live on lentils etc and cook from scratch, but I keep oven chips in the freezer too. I try really hard not to criticise other people's decisions about how they feed their families.

JeanPoole - that works well on paper, but doesn't work in RL. Chances are she'd be worse off working as a shop assistant being single with young children, plus it's fact that some people no matter how bloody hard they work, or how long they try never climb up that ladder - there's simply not enough rungs - some people are always stuck at the bottom of it.

exactly jeanpoole

i left school with zero..so did my dh

but we live in an expensive area, i have a brand new car, my kid's have everything they want...we have never had a penny in benefits.

whats wrong with working in a supermarket as a check out person and staying a checkout person - nothing at all.

You dont have to "better" yourself you are "good" to start with your not bad if you dont "better" yourself

"but we live in an expensive area, i have a brand new car, my kid's have everything they want...we have never had a penny in benefits."

I could have written that a few years ago. Then the shit hit the fan and we suddenly found we had no money, never claimed benefits though - DH was too proud to at the time. Here we both are now living separately both living on benefits (he's just signed on for JSA - and that was bloody hard work to get him to do!)

"people on here get SO hung up on education, it is not the be and end all in life.

what's wrong with working in asda and working your way up from the bottom to the top.
she could start as a till assistant and end up a regional manager."

Do you know my mum

it does work in RL because i've done it myself.

FAQ...all i'm saying is, lack of a good education is not always a barrier to getting on in life.

Jean... ARE you my mum