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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be worried/upset/cross that a Social Worker...

128 replies

KingCanuteIAm · 17/03/2009 21:36

Turned up at our school today and told me (a parent) that she was here to collect a child being taken into care?

Basically, I went into the office to hand in trip money and was followed by a Social Worker (she had her ID badge in her hand). There was no-one in the office so we made small talk, after a few minutes she said "I don't know if I am in the right place" so I asked her why she was here, perhaps I could point her in the right direction, her reply? "I am here to pick up a little girl going into care".

I was shocked by that but then someone came into the office so she told them then name of the girl and where she was taking her. So I now know, that a child is being taken into care, who the child is and where she is going.

I have the womans name from her ID badge, should I complain or AIBU and I should let her get on with her work?

I just know if (heaven forbid) something like this happened to me/my dc I would be horrified if I thought it could become playground tittle tattle so easily! (For the record I have not mentioned it to anyone and I will not mention it to anyone - but I know many others wouldn't see the harm in it!)

SO, keep stum or stamp and shout?

OP posts:

mrsjammi · 17/03/2009 21:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

wotulookinat · 17/03/2009 21:41

YABU. You asked why she was there (albeit to offer her help) and she told you. She might have been worried about appearing rude if she just said 'I'm looking for the office'. And she didn't tell you the name, you overheard it.

Original poster

KingCanuteIAm · 17/03/2009 21:41

I just can't imagine someone going through the kinds of things that could be behind a move like this will benefit in any way from having parents pointing and whispering or children saying your Mum/Dad did/didn't or whatever.

The thing that really shocked me was that she was so matter of fact, as if there was no reason why she shouldn't tell me - which is why I am posting here, perhaps she is allowed to say things like that?

OP posts:

alicecrail · 17/03/2009 21:42

That is terrible, but unfortunately not very shocking considering the press ss have had recently. I would be tempted to report them but at the same time i can't say i would be keen on the ss having my details iyswim?

For the record i am not a parent who should fear ss but my family have been involved with them in the past and i would not want to get involved myself - long story

wotulookinat · 17/03/2009 21:43

We don't know why the child was going into care - it might not be that the parents have done anything wrong.

Idrankthechristmasspirits · 17/03/2009 21:43

YABU a bit. You asked her why she was there, she could have assumed that you worked there and could help.
She should have checked though before she gave details.

Original poster

KingCanuteIAm · 17/03/2009 21:44

Wot, it is a room around 7 by 6 feet she walked in with me, there is no way she could be unaware that I would hear it, she didn't keep her voice low or anything to try to mitigate that risk.

Also, not wanting to appear rude? Really? you think that is justification, why not just say I am picking a child up but I am not sure which class... This is her JOB, she must hav better strategies than that for not appearing rude?

OP posts:

noonki · 17/03/2009 21:45

she shouldnt have said that.

In her defense you dont know why the child was going into care.

It may be that the child's parent was ill etc.

Also she may have thought you were a teacher.

that said she still shouldnt have said anything.

ChesterTown · 17/03/2009 21:47

Unusual for a child to be 'taken into care' by a single social worker halfway through the school day.

Original poster

KingCanuteIAm · 17/03/2009 21:47

Wot, that is the point, I don't know why but many, if not most people would assume or speculate that the parent "must have done something simply awful to have SS turn up to school like that" which is one of many good reasons not to drop clangers like this in any child care situation.

IDrank, trust me I do not look like I worked there (I was in my running clothes and hot and bothered from jogging into school)!

OP posts:

wotulookinat · 17/03/2009 21:48

I'd imagine it's not the nicest part of her job - she may not even have been a social worker (I have a friend who works for the social services and supervises visits and such, but isn't a social worker). Be glad that it was you who overheard and not someone who would spread gossip.

wotulookinat · 17/03/2009 21:48

Maybe she thought you were a PE teacher

Original poster

KingCanuteIAm · 17/03/2009 21:49

Chester was at the end of the day (where did you get the idea it was half way through?), she was the only one in the office asking directions, I have no idea if she had colleagues with her.

OP posts:

squirrel42 · 17/03/2009 21:49

I work in the public sector - we're all supposed to have/be doing "information assurance" training on things like data security and confidentiality for just this kind of reason. Information doesn't just go astray because drunk civil servants leave laptops in tapas bars - it's people not thinking who may accidently overhear when they talk to someone. I'm sure it was entirely innocent but they still should have thought beforehand and only spoken with the school staff in a private office.

wotulookinat · 17/03/2009 21:50

I assumed it was in the day as well. Don't know why!

Original poster

KingCanuteIAm · 17/03/2009 21:50

that could be some kind of trouble for social services - a school full of children being forced to watch me wobble around - tht would be grounds for a CP conference!

OP posts:

Boco · 17/03/2009 21:50

The not wanting to appear rude argument really doesn't work. If I said to my GP 'what did mrs smith come and see you about today then?', he wouldn't feel compelled to tell me that she has terrible piles, because it'd be rude not to answer my question. Professional people do not need to give up information out of politeness. She shouldn't have gone into detail, it was unprofessional and indiscreet. I'm not sure I'd complain to ss, but may well mention it to the school, in case they would want to mention it, as they have a duty of care to the child.

staggerlee · 17/03/2009 21:51

Sounds like she mistook you for a member of staff as you were in the staff room?. Yep of course she should have checked and she made a mistake.
Did you enlighten her at any point?

wotulookinat · 17/03/2009 21:52

But she didn't really go into detail, did she? She said more than she probably should have, but going into details would have been to tell you the name directly and/or the reason for it.

ChesterTown · 17/03/2009 21:53

It also sounds like she thought you were a member of staff - not surprising as you were in the school office offering to help...

Original poster

KingCanuteIAm · 17/03/2009 21:53

So, stamp or stum? I am really shocked about this and SS already know who i am so I will not disadvantage myself there!

I just think that it may have been innocent (ish) and it may just be a sad statement about the state of things in SS and what have you. BUT, if we see things and say nothing how can we really expect things to improve?

OP posts:

MsHighwater · 17/03/2009 21:55

I work in Social Work (not a social worker and not in child protection/child care) but I agree it was inappropriate for her to have disclosed what she did to you. She should have said something non-committal.

If you have her name, I'd say a word to the Social Services HQ of the authority she works for would be in order - if you do it, make sure you go to the HQ and not just a local office.

Original poster

KingCanuteIAm · 17/03/2009 21:56

Chester, I was OUTSIDE the office WAITING for help (little glass window system), we were both in a queue waiting for the secretary who took ages. After a while she was sighing and checking her watch etc so I offered to see if I could help.

There is NO WAY this woman thought I was staff.

OP posts:

hobbgoblin · 17/03/2009 21:56

Bit clumsy, she could have said "I'm here to see [name of head/member of staff dealing with case]" and she should have used initials of the child within earshot of others. However, the telling you the purpose of the visit isn't a problem, there is no confidentiality breach in that alone.

ChesterTown · 17/03/2009 21:57

I would also like to add that sw's do not find it easy to take children into care. She may have been pre-occupied with anticipated distress from the child. That would not excuse her lapse but might explain it. When children are taken into care it is a big thing for the worker dealing with it and it tends to shake them up quite a bit. I feel you are just looking to cause a bit of trouble tbh. Sorry.

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